Not even a Tear
by EntrustingLove
Summary: What if Jake died? What if it was Edward who killed him? Why does Quil look SO appealing? Does Bella want a new beginning or not? Who will she choose when she's forced? choices... choices... REVIEW please!...
1. No, not him It can't be

**This is my first story so review and tell me what needs work! have fun! **

**disclaimer- I do not own the characters in Twilight or New Moon... sad sad :( i wish I did **

**Bella's POV  
**  
I was standing in my bathroom trying to brush through my damp hair when I heard a knock at the front door. From outside the bathroom I could hear Edward growl softly which left no question to whom it was. I stepped into the hallway and saw my true love leaning against the banister with a look of disgust plastered onto his inhumanly beautiful face.

"Edward," I whispered while shaking my head at his disapproval and stood on my tiptoes to kiss his icy lips "I will be right back,"

I trudged down the stairs careful not to trip and kill myself going down, and opened the door. Who I saw there was not whom I expected

Quil Ateara was standing in front of me maybe another foot taller than I had previously saw him. _Good God do these boys ever stop growing?!_ I thought to myself shaking my head. His head was low and he looked upset. I reached out to him and he shook his head.

"Bella, I-" Quil started shaking, I immediately thought that he was about to change into werewolf, which is to be expected when the La Push boys got angry, but then my heart melted. He started sobbing; tears were streaming down his tan face.

"Quil? What's wrong?" I stepped forward and hugged the huge boy to my small body and started to carefully rub his back. "Jake," Quil tears continued. "Jake, he-" Quil retreated back into another sob. My heart skipped a beat, _Jake? Jacob? My best friend? What happened?!_ My mind raced thinking of thoughts too horrible to think about for too long. Almost as if he could sense my distress, I felt Edward's cold hand on my shoulder.

"Quil, What about Jake?!" I almost yelled. I grabbed his shaking shoulders and tried to make him look at my filling eyes. "Tell me!" "Please!" I turned my head around to look at Edward who still had the same look of displeasure on his face. "Edw-" I started.

"Don't come near me!" Quil shouted. He ripped himself from my embrace and stepped backwards pointing a shaking finger towards Edward. I was frozen in shock. Not only was Quil, whom I haven't seen since before Edward came back, crying on my front porch, but also obviously thinks my Edward, my perfect Edward has done something to him. Ripples were going down Quil's spine this time not from sobs. "He killed him! Your precious bloodsucker killed Jake!" My heart stopped. _This couldn't happen. Jake can't be dead. He can't be! I never saw him smile again after that day I chose Edward before him! No! He wouldn't. Edward wouldn't do that, he knew how much Jake means to me! No he's wrong!_

"No," I whispered. Edward and Quil looked at me. "No!" I almost collapsed right there.

"What are you talking about you mutt?! And don't you dare change in front of Bella! Don't you d-" Edward roared.

"I wouldn't do that! I would never hurt Bella! But you are a different story you, you LEECH!" Quil lunged at Edward and faster than I had ever thought possible Edward was in front of me throwing me back into the house.

As I tried to sit up on the floor of the entrance hall I saw Quil Burst into his wolf form, shreds of clothes went flying, as I saw my Edward pushing Quil back into the forest. I immediately ran for the phone.

It didn't ring once before I heard a distressed Alice on the other end.

"Alice, Quil and Edw-, Jake he's and Edward because h-" I stumbled over words trying to get them out of my mouth, but instead broke into frustrated and terrified sobs.

"I know Bella, I know, I saw Quil coming. Emmett and Carlisle are on their way to find Edward and Jasper and I will be at your house as soon as we hear from them." My tears flowed down my cheeks as I listened to Alice try and soothe me. All I wanted to know where Edward was so I could lay on his cool chest.

"Bella? Bella? Are you there?" Alice's voice probed waking me from my nightmare of Edward and Quil fighting.

"Yes," I said into the phone. Hoping Alice could hear through my irregular breathing.

"Okay, we will be there soon, stay put Bella." Her last words were a command not an option. I heard the phone click on the other end.

I set the phone down and went to sit on the couch. _So much for a regular Saturday with Edward. _I thought before crumbling into the fetal position trying to not think about what was occurring in the forest in front of Charlie's house. I didn't hear anyone come in over the sound of my sobbing. I felt a small cool hand on my back and I rolled over to see a concerned Alice asking Jasper a question to fast for me to hear.

"Oh Alice! Jake! Is it true?! It can't be!" I felt a wave of calmness wash over me and realized the Alice had asked Jasper to use his gift to quiet me. Alice sat down and easily pulled me into her lap.

"Shhhh, Shhhh, Bella it will be alright, Shhhh," Alice rocked back and forth stroking my back.

Soon my sobbing turned into quieter whimpers and I sat up to face her.

"Alice please tell me what is going on," I pleaded looking into her topaz eyes for any show of what had gone on.

"Bella, I need you to calm down a little more before I explain thing to you." She tried to lightly pull me back to her lap, but I resisted.

"Please Alice, please," I looked back and forth between her and Jasper, who was now sitting in Charlie's recliner.

"Okay," Alice looked down for a moment, probably trying to figure out how to tell me everything with out upsetting me. "Jake was found this morning in his room." My breathing stopped I knew what she was going to say. "He was barely alive, he had scratches everywhere and was bleeding horribly, he died 5 minutes after his Dad found him."

I didn't notice the stinging in my eyes until tears began to once again flow rapidly down my face. "No, please no," I whispered. Without even thinking about it my legs were up against my chest and I was rocking back and forth trying to comprehend what I had just heard.

"Bella, it was a vampire who killed him." I looked up into Alice's eyes and suddenly understood Quil's reason for being so angry, he thought this vampire was my Edward.

"How could you know that? For sure," I asked cautiously.

"Only a vampire could do the damage that was clearly done." I didn't quite understand so I stared at her, willing her to continue. "Werewolves heal fast. Unless it is a vampire who injured them." I winced at her words. She continued quickly, "Jacob had to have lost a lot of blood really fast, to die." It was finally clear, it all made sense. No other being but a vampire could have hurt Jake so badly as to actually kill him, when I myself have seen him heal in a matter of minutes from being gashed.

I could no longer control the over whelming loss that I felt, Jacob was dead, the boy who kept me alive or I guess gave me back my life when Edward left. The warm, funny, loving boy that I loved more than a brother was gone, forever. I could feel the start of a hole, the hole I hadn't felt for months tearing at my torso. The hole, that Edward left, when he decided to leave.

I wrapped my arms around my stomach and felt wave after wave of calmness try and overtake me but my entire body latched onto the anguish that was rapidly thrashing through me.

I felt Alice's body up against mine, so I guess she had pulled me into her lap without me noticing, but her arms provided me no comfort. Only one person's arms could console me right now and he was out fighting with a werewolf in the forest.


	2. It's true

**Sorry its so short! I have finals… This is sort of just a lull chapter… a here's what's going on sort of thing!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters Ms. Stephanie Meyer does ********… **

I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep until I felt myself being passed from Alice's lap, into someone else's arms. I slowly opened my eyes and saw the face of my beautiful angel. I smiled and he looked down into my eyes and leaned forward to press my lips to his. "I missed you," I said into his lips, then immediately jumped back, "Edward what happened?" I sat up remembering what had gone on the night or I guess day before?

I instinctively searched his body with my eyes for any cuts or wounds or anything. He seemed to be in one piece so I looked into his eyes again pleading for clarification of what had happened.

"It's okay Bella; I'll explain everything in just a minute." Edward set me down and I realized Alice was still in the room, silently conversing with Edward to fast for me to hear.

I sat back down on the couch and smoothed down my hair that was sure to be a mess from sleeping. As I followed, or tried to, follow their conversation, I saw Edward nod slightly and glance towards me, Alice's eyebrows shot up and I knew whatever they were talking about was important. Edward's face was twisted in what looked like to be almost fury. "Edward, wha-" I started to ask but he interrupted.

"Bella wait just a minute!" he suddenly yelled at me, I couldn't remember the last time he had raised his voice towards me. My face must have shown my shock because when I looked at Alice she smiled sympathetically before turning back towards Edward. I got up from the couch and started walking out of the living room, or more like away from Edward.

I decided that brushing my teeth was the closest thing from a distraction that I could muster, so I started up the stairs. In the bathroom, I remembered… _Jake was dead, my best friend. Where was Billy? Where was Quil? And Edward? Did he have something to do with it? No, he couldn't have. But then who?_

My body started crumbling from the weight of all I was trying to sort out. I fell onto the floor and started my incessant tears falling down my face again. _Jake couldn't be dead. This can't be true! No, no it can't be happening! _

I thought I heard another yell from downstairs that sounded like "Bella! Bella, what happ-" but then his cool marble hands were pulling me into his grasp. Cradling me like a child, he sat with his back against the tub. "Shhhh, Shhhh, Bella I am so sorry for yelling at you, I just- I just I was so worried, about things. And I don't even know- I am so sorry. I should never have yelled." He buried his face in my hair and kissed my ear.

I looked up at him through my tears and barely whispered, "Jake? Is he," _It couldn't be true_, "Is he-" Edward's face softened, and he nodded his head.

"I am so sorry Bella, I really am so sorry," My sobs racked through my body again. _It was true, my best friend, my sun, my brother, was gone. _Edward's hand stroked my back and I cried, he whispered soothing words into my ear most of which I didn't hear over my cries.

Eventually my tears ran dry and I could only whimper out the pain I felt, in my heart, in my stomach where the hole that ripped open earlier was burning. Only Edward's loving arms held me in one piece. But this wasn't the same hole as before, this was a new gash created by Jake's leaving, it wasn't as strong as when Edward left but it was enough to feel like it was tearing me in two.

As he rocked me back and forth all I could think about was losing Jacob. He meant so much to me and he was gone now, no he was gone forever.

I tried to sit up but when my body was too exhausted from crying Edward stood up with me hanging in his arms. He kissed my forehead once and walked gracefully down the stairs, and out the front door. When we walked outside, it was drizzling only dampening my mood farther. Edward shielded me from the rain by leaning forward, and walked out to the silver Volvo sitting in the driveway with a concerned Alice at the wheel.

He laid me on the back seat and slid his leg underneath my head; I curled up next to him as he closed the door beside him.

Before sleep had even enough time to over take me for a second time this day, I felt Edward lifting me up again walking me toward the white house I have grown to love so much. All I could see through the now pouring rain was Esme and Jasper standing on the porch looking relieved and excruciatingly worried at the same time.

As Edward walked past, Esme she ran her hand over my head and I exhaustedly smiled up at the woman I so desperately wished I could call my mother.

From behind me, I could hear Jasper and Alice, talking or more arguing. And from what I could hear Alice was not happy about what she was explaining. But I was too tired and too happy in my lover's arms to try and comprehend any more than that.

**Review Review! Xoxox!!**

**Thanks Cat!**


	3. 5 days

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story! the amazing Stephenie Meyer does!.. ******

**Okay… sorry… Jasper left when Bella was sleeping sorry about the miscommunication! … **

Edward sat down on the couch in the living room with me in his arms. I looked up from where I was cradled against Edward's chest and only saw Esme sitting across from us. She was fiddling with her fingers as if she was exasperatingly nervous or uncomfortable about something. After thinking about it for a moment, it came to me. Carlisle was still out there.

I looked up at Edward and he smiled at me sympathetically and shifted me so I was sitting in his lap and no longer lying. "Edward where's Carlisle?" I asked.

"No need to worry dear," Esme said faster than Edward could open his mouth. "Edward why don't you take her to your room so she can lay on the couch?" She asked more for my benefit, because Edward could just as clearly hear her thoughts.

Edward gracefully lifted off the couch and set my feet on the floor so I could walk. My body was too exhausted and was screaming at me to lie back down. Edward started walking forward and he soon noticed that I was not following. He looked at me curiously and reached his hand out towards me.

My knees threatened to give out, so embarrassed I whispered, "Edward will you carry me?" I felt my cheeks blush as he chuckled to himself.

"Of course my love" He said before gently swooping my body into his chest.

Before we could run up the stairs I looked around Edward's shoulder and didn't see Esme on the couch. I looked around for her and she briefly caught my eye standing on the front porch just as she had been when we arrived.

In half the time it would have taken me to sprint to his room we were already walking in the doorway.

Every time we enter his room it takes my breath away at how many CD's he has. The front wall is completely covered in rows and rows of music on shelves, as well as piles of them that littered the floor. As I looked at the room, something was blaringly different.

There was a bed with a royal burgundy comforter on top decorated with the softest gold and royal blue pillows, sitting in the corner of the room where his stereo used to be. I stared at it for a moment and looked over at Edward the question written all over my face. Edward can't sleep what would he need a bed for?

Edward was looking at me as if he expected me to start yelling at anytime. "Edward? Why is there a b-" I suddenly realized it. _How could I be so stupid as to not figure it out immediately! _I thought. But Edward knows that I couldn't move in with him with Charlie still at home. Oh my god! Charlie! I hadn't even thought about him today! What's he going to think when he gets home and I'm not there the day after Jake had been murdered?!

"Charlie," I whispered. Edward pulled me into him, giving me a hug, and lightly laughed. I looked up at him questioningly. Why was he laughing?

"Bella, you astound me! You come into my room and there is a bed that I obviously can't use and you think of Charlie!?" Edward was shaking his head and laughing at the same time now.

"No Edward, Charlie, he doesn't know where I am! He is going to really be upset, I have to go home!" Edward seemed even slightly more entertained than he was before. "Edward it's not funny!" I scowled at him trying to maneuver myself around him out the door.

Edward held up his hand and raised an eyebrow, "Don't you think that by now I would think about things like that?" I cocked my head to one side not understanding exactly. "Bella, it's all taken care of! Alice got Charlie to almost beg to have you come over!" He laughed with his whole body. I wasn't quite sure with what was funny but I giggled slightly just at how this was amusing Edward.

After he stopped laughing he explained. "Alice caught up with your Dad on his way to go down to La Push, and reminded him that you were home alone with a murder on the loose!" He laughed again. This time I joined him in the laughing just thinking of Charlie's face as Alice was gently explaining this to him, _HA! Gently my ass!_

Finally when we were done laughing I looked up at Edward and asked the question and had been biting at my mind since I walked into the room, "Edward why is there a bed then?" He brought me over to the couch, leading me by the hand, and sat me down.

"I think it would be best if you stayed with us awhile, while this is all going on." I couldn't even think of what emotion I should be feeling. Scared? Confused? Excited? Nervous? I couldn't even muster a complete sentence.

"Edward, Charlie-, he probably, he might not- no he most definitely won't- I don't think it's- I think Charlie won't-" I sighed in aggravation at myself. _Why can't I just say it?_

"You don't think Charlie will let you stay over here with me?" He completed my sentence for me. I blushed lightly and nodded. Watching his face for any of the same undecided questions I was feeling. "Bella, when I said heading down to La Push I meant for awhile." I nodded showing him that I understood. "Alice had a vision; he will be down there until Thursday." _Oh my god! That was what like what? 5 straight days with Edward!_ I had to stop myself from jumping up and down, but that did not stop my smiles from coming fully to my face.

He smiled back at me, and said "I'm excited to," I got up from the couch and with my new found energy pulled Edward with me to the bed.

He gently picked me up by the waist and lightly threw me into the pillows. And gracefully jumped onto the bed careful not to land on top of me, I giggled at the thought of sharing a bed with him for 5 whole nights, but remembered that we did that every night. Why would this be any different? Edward snuggled close to me and kissed the tip of my nose. I smiled at my beautiful Edward mulling over the concept of sending 5 days with him.

Then it hit me again. The reason why I was lying here on this bed with Edward instead of back at my house doing homework or watching T.V. with Charlie. _Jacob is dead. He's gone. And Charlie is down in La Push having no idea what he's up against. _I could feel fear and tears swelling in my eyes. Sometimes I wonder how one person could possibly have this many tears in them. I looked up at a concerned Edward and gently said "Oh Edward! Jake's gone," And he kissed my nose again and pulled me closer resting his chin on my head before the tears made there journey down my cheeks.

"Bella, Bella, its okay now, Shhhh, I'm here with you, _**I'm**_ here and _**I**_will never leave you." I wasn't sure exactly how to respond to that statement. He sounded like he was almost upset with me for being sad about Jacob. "No I will never leave you," he whispered into my ear. I let the comments pass for just being comforting and cried into my angel's chest.

**How was it? Meh?.. I hope it was alright. Wanna know what Edward meant by those last little comments? Just wait then!**

**Review please… and if you have any suggestions on how to continue be my guest and give them to me! Please!**

**XOXO, Cat**


	4. Perfection to Disaster

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, Stephenie Meyers does! Sad I know it would be amazing if I did!**

This is fluff at the beginning but it gets to the point! I hope you like it-

  
Edward held me while I cried and rocked me gently until my whimpering stopped. His graceful cool hand was gently stroking my hair, while his other was pulling me into his chest. More than I had ever felt before, I felt that I didn't deserve Edward. He was to amazing, to perfect, to be with me, a weak, defenseless little human who must have cried with him more than he had ever seen before.

But more than the feelings of not deserving were the feelings of complete gratefulness for what he gave to me, in just his presence, and the absolutely immeasurable love that I had for him, and his love for me.

"I love you Bella, I love you more than life itself," he whispered into me ear when he noticed that I was staring at his gorgeous eyes, that were a surprisingly butterscotch color. I hadn't noticed he left to hunt. _Must have been when I was with Alice._ I thought to myself.

"I love you to Edward, more than I ever thought I could love anyone," He smiled and leaned down to kiss me. But this kiss was different. His lips caressed mine more lovingly than they ever had before, all of his boundaries were being pushed, and he was the one who was leading the pushing. I of course did not object and kissed him back with just as much passion.

After what seemed like hours of kissing, I felt his cool hand lift my shirt over my head. I looked at him questioningly and he stared back at me with pure ecstasy in his eyes before leaning in to assault me with his lips once more. For the first time Edward's hands touched my chest as I was slowly unbuttoning his loose shirt and gradually slid it off of his marble arms. 

Right before Edward was finally going to embark on the endeavor that would promise our love for each other, Alice burst through the door. 

"Edward! Come down stairs NO-" I looked up at her with what I am sure were startled eyes and she covered her face with her perfect hands, "I am so sorry I didn't know but Carlisle got home and, he wants, he needs everyone, but I guess you two… Carlisle wants you downstairs!" She finally spit out before running out of the room slamming the door behind her. 

Edward pulled me into him and nuzzled my neck, "We should go," he whispered and I looked into eyes that told me he was thinking just the opposite. I carefully raised myself from his grasp and sat up on the bed making a grab for my clothes. By the time I was about to give up and get out of bed to get dressed Edward had my shirt and was raising my arms above my head to slip my torso into it. I smiled at him appreciatively and kissed his lips. Turning to look for my pants on the clothing littered floor.

I jumped out of bed and pulled on the rest of my clothes, just to see Edward walking out the bathroom looking like he had just gotten into and out of the shower. I laughed at myself for being astounded by his speed. And walked towards the door he had held open.

We walked downstairs hand in hand, into a room full of smiling vampires. As soon as Emmett looked at Edward and I, and let out a low whistle my face was on fire. I was sure to be the color of a beet and getting redder by the second. Edward pulled me into his side and growled lowly at the family whispering something to fast for my human paced ears.

It must have been something about not making me more embarrassed than I was because they all were silent as we sat down.

I looked over at Alice and she bit her lip and smiled sheepishly, I thought to myself wishing that she could hear me, _Yeah, You should be sorry about saying anything! I won't live this down for the rest of my LIFE!_ But I knew inside I could never be mad at the pixie-like vampire staring at me from across the room, so I smiled lightly and shook my head showing her that it was okay and that I wouldn't stay mad.

Edward looked down at me and I looked up at him to see his smile grow from ear to ear and turn swiftly to look at Emmett and nod his head "yes" to whatever he was asking. I closed my eyes feeling the blush return and hoped unsuccessfully that they weren't talking about Edward's and I's time in the bedroom.

"Edward," Carlisle said out loud and everyone turned to look at the stunningly gorgeous vampire sitting next to his wife across from Alice and Jasper, he had a calm look on his face but it hinted to the more angry feelings he was experiencing. The room was silent as Edward listened to Carlisle talk to him through his thoughts. I watched Edward carefully, trying to differentiate between his stone expression and the slight winces that were gone before I could be sure they were there.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity, but must have not been more than a few minutes, Edward's eyes shifted to mine looking pained and whispered a simple, "No,"

**I was going to stop here, but decided I felt like continuing!**

I wrapped my arm around my beloved's waist and tried to make his now dark eyes look into mine. He gently patted my hand and I knew at that moment something was terribly terribly wrong. Edward's eyes were now coal black and he kept shaking his head no.

I looked over at Carlisle who was now showing his intense lividness through his face, I could tell he was yelling at Edward through his mind, by the way his mouth quivered, begging to let the words come out through shouts.

Esme was calmly patting Carlisle's hand that was clenched around the bottom of the armrest, and I looked over at Alice for help. Her eyes were black also, and had her jaw clenched in the same position as Carlisle's staring intently at Edward. I looked around the room full of my adored family and all of their gorgeous faces showed intense fury directed at Edward.

Now I was sure that at least 15 minutes had passed without a word. Without one of the screeching thoughts reaching my lips, but I couldn't hold back any longer. "Stop! Please! Tell me what's wrong! Tell me what happened!" I yelled louder than I expected. I was now standing screaming in the general direction of Carlisle and Esme.

All eyes were on me as I looked around the room, they were all expressionless. But Edward was still looking down at his fisted hands in his lap, resembling a shamed puppy. I could feel the angry tears stinging my eyes and started towards the door.

I couldn't handle being in that room anymore I could almost hear the screams directed at Edward. _What did he do? How could he ever do something bad enough to make Carlisle this angry? What is wrong? Why are they all so angry?!_

I reached the front door and turned around briefly to see Edward's shoulders shaking in tearless sobs. Rosalie and Emmett were gone, probably gone to their room, And Alice was swiftly yelling something at Edward that I couldn't hear. The worst thing was, was that Carlisle was still staring fuming at Edward from the same place he was before. _I don't understand! Why won't anyone tell me what is going on?!   
_

Finally, Alice screamed out loud enough for me to have to cover my delicate ears, "Edward how could you! Do you know what this is going to do to her when she finds out!" I heard a shattering sound as Alice's hand made hard contact with Edwards jaw.

I ran over to her and grabbed her shaking hand. Her eyes widened in horror when she turned to look at me. Edward's shoulders were shaking harder than before as he turned his body away from me when I put a light hand on his shoulder. "Edward, I- I am so sorry, I didn't know she was still here, I-" Alice almost cried out before turning around into Jasper her own shoulders shaking now.

I took a breath before continuing. "Edward, what is it? What is going to kill me if I find out?" I pleaded. His eyes looked into mine, and it pierced my heart to see him with that much ache in his beautiful butterscotch eyes. His lips turned down into a pained frown and he started sobbing. I immediately sat down and began kissing his cheeks, his neck, his arms, anything I could reach.

Carlisle's stern voice broke me from my trance of comforting Edward, "Edward tell her now, we will all leave you two alone to talk." With that I watched the entire family except for Edward and I walk through the front door.

"Edward what is it? Please tell me, please? I love you no matter what! I promise!" I half whispered to my sobbing angel.

He looked up at me and grabbed my face in his hands, "You promise?" He said sternly. I nodded a little unsure, but I knew that nothing would stop my love for Edward. _This is bad. This is really bad_. I thought, as he kissed me tenderly just as he had before he left me in the deserted forest. 

He released my face from his grasp, and took a deep breath, before grabbing my hand and began….

**cliffie cliffie**:  
**How was it?… I betcha want to know what they're gunna talk about huh? Hahaha I am so cruel I am sorry but I really have to do homework now I have finals tomorrow!!**

Review Review if you would!… xoxoxo 


	5. No Tears

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in New Moon or Twilight… Stephenie Meyers does… that gets annoying…

**Alrighty!:**

**Recap- ****He looked up at me and grabbed my face in his hands, "You promise?" He said sternly. I nodded a little unsure, but I knew that nothing would stop my love for Edward. This is bad. This is really bad. I thought, as he kissed me just as he had before he left me in the deserted forest.**

**He released my face from his grasp, and took a deep breath, before grabbing my hand and began….**

"Bella, you know that I love you more than anything else in this entire universe?" I nodded my head slightly begging him to continue. "I love you with all my being and want you with me forever. I would do anything for you, absolutely anything you wanted, and anything to keep you safe." He accentuated that last sentence and a small shiver ran down my spine but I ignored it.

I smiled warmly up at him and leaned in to kiss him softly. "I know Edward. I love you with all that I have. I would do anything for you also." He nodded his head and smiled but the beautiful happiness didn't reach his still pained eyes. A moment passed before anyone spoke,

"Edward, please," I took the sides of his face in my hands and tilted his head to look into my eyes, "Please tell me what is going on." He took a deep breath that he didn't need and brought my hands down into his lap.

"Bella, when I said I would do anything to keep you safe, I meant it. I meant absolutely anything," he paused and began very softly. "Even if that something might hurt you." He looked at me for reassurance and I realized that I was holding my breath.

"Okay," I gently prodded Edward to keep going.

He shifted in his seat so that he was directly staring into my eyes. "Bella, the other day my family and I went hunting. We were out in the woods behind our house and we ran into that wolf pack from La Push." _Oh no! This cannot be good. _I thought to myself wincing at the way he spat out the word wolf. He continued immediately. "I didn't mean to, but I- I just couldn't help it I was just out of control and I listened to his thoughts-, he- he" Edward was shaking now, his eyes were bitch black as he watched the scene replay in his mind. "He immediately thought about you!" My eyes shot open; _he's talking about Jacob. _My heart started beating furiously. As Edward shook and described Jacob's thoughts about my safety with a "monster", the way I had chose Edward over him, the way he was going to take me back.

Edward jumped up and paced as he said those last few words, "How he was going to take you back," he paused, "By force." Edward had his back towards me as he said this and I knew he was thinking about the hurt we would both go through if that occurred. His body shook with fury.

But then I remembered. _Jake's dead, he can't take me back no-. _I stopped mid-thought. _No, no! Edward you didn't! No not Jake you didn't kill him!_ I was the one shaking now as Edward walked back towards me. I decided to finish his story. "Edward, you- you killed" I winced at the hole this ripped through me. "YOU killed Jacob." I was astounded at my own words. Thoughts were swimming through my mind. _How could he? He knew how much he meant to me! My sunshine, my best friend, my everything when Edward left me, was dead, because of him. _

I looked up to see Edward kneeling beside the sofa where we were sitting. My body was still shaking as I strangled out the last few words I could think to say, "How could you?" I tilted my head and pulled away from the arms that were being outstretched to me.

His eyes searched for anything that would comfort me, but I could tell he was being unsuccessful. "Bella, it wasn't like that." I turned slowly to look at him. "I couldn't let him take you! I couldn't let him bring you to that! I wouldn't let him!"

"I wouldn't have gone with him!" I screamed and jumped off the couch when he touched my arm, as if he had burned me. "I would NEVER have gone with him!"

"I know Bella," he whispered softly. "I know, I couldn't restrain myself that's all I could think about when I was with you." He paused and looked up at me on the opposite side of the room. "I wouldn't let _him_ take you away from me. He could have Bella," he stated rather informatively. "If he tried he could have, even if you didn't want him to."

I stared at him shaking my head in disbelief. "So you KILLED HIM!" I said with more acidity and power than I was expecting. Edward looked both shocked and almost scared.

"Bella, I didn't know what else to do." He hung his head, and his shoulders started shaking in a tearless cry. I could feel my face burn from lividness and grated my teeth at the vampire I thought I loved.

"I hate you." I whispered. And the worst part about that was that it was true.

Edward's body froze as I said these words. He stood up slowly and looked at me through the most gorgeous face I had ever seen. My arms ached to comfort him out of habit but my mind felt nothing but pure hatred for the monster standing across from me.

"You killed my best friend." I stated blatantly. "You killed the only being that kept me alive when you _left._" His face got even more sorrow filled when I reminded him of this. "Someone who loves me would never take that away, even if it meant risking hurt of themselves." The words coming out of my mouth rang with certainty and precision, but I couldn't bring myself to look into Edward's eyes.

Edward's cold body looked almost like if anyone breathed to hard he would blow away, I stood my ground not showing any emotion to the vampire, and came to a realization. "I can't love you Edward." I looked at the ground, and inwardly I whimpered at the truth of my statement as I realized that statement myself. _I could never love someone who took that much from me. _

I stared at Edward, and when he did not make a move to continue I moved towards the door. He stayed in the same spot the entire time.

When I grabbed the handle of the door Edward finally whispered, "I will always love you Isabella Swan. I'm so sorry." And I walked out closing the door before I could hear my ex-love collapse.

Edward's POV 

As I heard the door close behind her, my entire body was engulfed in misery. My beautiful angel, she left. And I made her leave. I was the reason she did.

I cried to myself remembering her every perfection. The way her cheeks would beautifully blush at any embarrassing statement or happening, the way she would quietly mumble in her sleep, the way her chestnut hair fell down her back, her gorgeous chocolate colored eyes that showed her every emotion, her amazing floral smell that intoxicated every pore of my body, the way her lips felt pressed against mine.

I couldn't believe I had pushed that away in 10 minutes of losing control. All it took was one move and I killed him. But, that one move hurt Bella also, what have I done? God Damn that dog. If it wasn't for him none of this would have happened. But, she wouldn't have met him if I hadn't have left her unprotected. It was all my fault.

I lay on the floor curled up in a ball, thinking about my angel until the family came in. I blocked out all of their minds which were sure to either be full of sympathy or anger and ran into the forest to wait until, I could watch the beautiful girl that held my love peacefully sleep.

I paced in the dense forest outside of Charlie's house until twilight thinking about how I could win Bella back, if there was a way. Then, as I replayed our conversation over and over in my head I noticed something.

The entire time she was yelling and I was trying to explain things to her, she didn't cry, not one single tear. What could that mean? Did it mean anything?


	6. Yes or No

Okay I am trying to decide whether or not to continue this story… so if you would review and tell me if you would like me to or if you think it's a scrap story…

**No hard feelings just constructive criticism… Thanks!! **

**XOXO**

**Cat **


	7. Decision

Disclaimer: Again, I do not own any of this Mrs. Meyers does… so on and so forth

**Thank you to all who reviewed and told me to continue because I was honestly almost 80 sure I wasn't continuing the story… So thanks again!! Xoxo**

**Alright bear with me in this chapter… lots of information to clear things up… But a lot of stuff to wrap your mind around.. **

Bella's POV

As I walked out onto the Cullen's porch I immediately felt the emotion that was obviously missing before, overcoming my every movement. Sadness about Jacob, vicious fury towards the vampire I once loved, regret for ever choosing Edward over the warm and cheerful boy whom I owed my happiness to, beleaguered by all that had occurred in the past two days; everything crept upon me as I carefully made my way down the porch steps clutching the railing so I wouldn't collapse.

I suddenly realized that Alice had driven me here, and that I had no means of getting home. I thought for a moment and decided that it was going to be a long walk.

As I started down the meadow path towards the street I heard the soft purr of an expensive engine behind me. I turned around to see Jasper and Alice sitting in the front seat of the BMW. Alice gently smiled at me, getting out of the car and surrounded me in her strong and graceful arms.

Alice kept her arms around my shoulders, leading me to the car. She helped me into the back seat before sliding in gracefully next to me, without a single word.

The car ride back to my house was silent, except for the sounds of the other cars on the street. I laid my head on Alice's shoulder suddenly excruciatingly tired, and thought about how I was going to be able to stay away from not only _him, _but also the pixie-like girl that had easily become my best friend.

Finally, we reached the small town home that had been my home for only about two years, and I was suddenly struck with the enormity of my decision. I would never get to be close to Alice ever again, I would never be crushed by Emmett's bear hugs, and never be comforted my the loving Esme, never see Jasper and feel the relief in his calming effect, and never get to listen to Carlisle's always trustworthy advice, I was even going to miss Rosalie, a little.

I smiled warmly at Alice trying to convey my apology for everything to come. "Thank you Alice, for everything, you were amazing to me and I don't know if I can ever repay that," She started to reply, but I quickly continued, " You were my best friend," Her face turned from confusion to realization. She shook her head and pulled me in for another hug.

"Bella, no, you don't have to leave. What Edward did is horrible, I know, but that doesn't mean, you and I can't be friends, please Bella." She held the top of my arms in her delicate hands and pleaded with me.

I could only shake my head slowly in response to her begs. "I am so sorry Alice, I love you like a sister." With that I gave her another quick hug and smiled half-heartingly at her.

Before I unlocked the door I waved at Jasper who was now comforting a sobbing Alice in the passenger seat. He looked at me and mouthed, "It will all be alright." And I ran inside to pack my things.

About an hour later-

Finally I had everything together, all my clothes were stuffed into suitcases, not surprisingly in 5 more bags than I came with, because of Alice's shopping habits. I had my sock full of emergency money and was searching everywhere in my room for the photo album I had finally completed two weeks prior.

I finally gave up on finding the book and started loading all my suitcases into the truck I was severely going to miss. I got into the old cab and started the engine with a loud roar. As I backed out of the driveway I thought about Charlie, I couldn't just leave him here not knowing where I went. He would have a heart attack.

I quickly decided to stop by La Push on my way to the airport. As I was driving all I could think about, was everything I was leaving behind. Charlie, the Cullens with the exception of _him, _Billy, everyone from school. I made a mental note to make sure to write to Mike, as I passed the sporting store him and I worked at together.

Finally, I reached La Push. Looking out of the window, memories flooded my mind. Memories of the first trip that had brought Jake and I together, the months that him and I worked together on the motorcycles debating on how old we both really were, the day I had jumped off the cliff, everything revolving around Jake in some way.

These memories tore at the newly present hole and threatened to pull me under the dark waters that had almost drowned me when _he _left.

I was nearly scared to death, when I heard a knocking on the passenger door of my truck. I hadn't even realized I was stopped. I thanked God for the skill to pull over to the side of the street in the state of being I was in.

I looked up to see the face of Quil Ateara smiling lightly at me through the window. I leaned over and opened the door for him, greeting him with a simple hello.

As soon as he entered the cab the temperature rose making my body more relaxed. He looked at his hands resting in his lap and put us both in an uncomfortable silence.

"How are you?" he asked never taking his eyes off of his hands.

"Alright, what about you?" I immediately looked all over him for any reminisce of his and _his _encounter. I saw nothing, and for that I was extremely relieved.

"Okay," Quil's eyes were sad when they looked up at me, I instantly felt the need to cuddle him and tell him everything was going to be alright. I stayed put in my seat however, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. "I am so sorry Bella, so very sorry," Quil whispered to me, true sympathy in his eyes.

"Quil, none of this is your fault, none of it. I don't want you saying sorry." I asked him, trying to persuade him to believe me. He still looked as though he was startlingly guilty.

He nodded his head and looked back down to study his fingers. I reached over and put my hand on his shoulder, determined to make him believe what I had said was true. His beautiful hazel eyes set in mine. _I haven't ever noticed his eyes were hazel. _I thought to myself smiling.

Quil lightly set his hand on top of mine, smiling in thanks to my pleas.

Quil looked around the cab for a minute before his eyes turned into an expression of curiosity. "Are you going somewhere?"

I smiled remembering my plans. "Yeah, I'm going to leave for awhile." He looked very upset by this and I tilted my head in question.

"Don't leave." He said grasping my hand that was resting on the seat beside me. "Please, don't leave."

"I have to Quil, I can't be here with everything that's happening." He looked at me knowingly but still looked hurt by my decision.

"I'll protect you." He said as if proclaiming himself my guardian. I laughed slightly by his misinterpretation of my words.

"No, I'm not in danger, I don't think, I just… there's a lot going on and I- I don't think I can handle all of it right now." Quil had his brow wrinkled together and looked at me as if thinking of a proper way to propose an idea.

"Bella, stay here. Stay with me. I'll help you." I could almost see the shocked expression that must have been on my face. _Did he just ask me to stay with him? Why? He barely knows me?_ "Please Bella don't leave." Quil grabbed my other hand so he was holding both of my hands pleading his point through his gorgeous eyes.

"I don't know Quil, I barely know you, I mean wouldn't it be easier for me to just go?" I shook my head and tried to comprehend what he had asked me.

"No, Bella, no it wouldn't be easier. Please stay I will keep you away from those disgusting leeches," I flinched at his use of words. "I promise you'll be safe." I understood then he thought I was leaving because I was **scared **of the Cullens.

"No, I'm not afraid of the Cullens. That's not why I am leaving." I exasperatedly explained. Quil's eyebrows furrowed and he cocked his head to one side showing his obvious confusion. I had to laugh at this. I am everything but scared of the Cullens. I could never be scared of Alice or Emmett or Carlisle even when I knew I should be.

"You're not leaving because of them?" this question stumped me a little. Yes, I was leaving because of what _he _did. I hadn't thought about it that way. When I did it made me very anxious. I shouldn't be running away from my home because of _him_. No, no I am not leaving. I decided

"Well I was," I dropped off the rest of my sentence in deep thought about how I was going to pull this all off.

"So, you're not leaving?" Quil was confused and his voice made me chuckle a little I could only imagine what kind of crazy person he thought I was.

"No, I am not leaving." I pronounced more to myself than anyone else.

"Okay?" I looked at Quil and he looked as if I had just been teleported by aliens or something. His eyebrows were wrinkled his head was cocked to the side and his mouth hung slightly ajar.

I burst out laughing because of his face and soon enough he was laughing also. Well the humor wore off I was contemplating how I was going to stay in Washington without bring with _him. _I swiftly thought of something and smiled to myself, I looked up at the handsome boy sitting across from me, "Quil?"

He looked up from his hands and nodded at me, "Yeah?"

"Ummmm… is it too late to take up your offer of staying with you?" I was scared at what his reaction would be. If he said, no, where was it I was going? But these thoughts were quickly interrupted.

"I would love that." I turned to Quil and he wore the biggest smile I had ever seen. And I returned one.

"Thank you," I said. As I turned the car back on, I patted the seat close to me motioning him to sit nearer to me. He slid over and to my surprise put his deliciously warm arm around my waist.

What now?.. hmmmmm… U have to wait to find out… I will try and update tomorrow!…

Review! Please… I love it when you do!.. xoxo Cat

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	8. He listened

Disclaimer: don't own it Stephenie Meyers does… blah blah blah

**I am leaving on a school trip on Tuesday so this will be the last chapter til' next Sunday!… I'm sorry… thanks for reading!!!**

**Recap: "Ummmm… is it too late to take up your offer of staying with you?" I was scared at what his reaction would be. If he said, no, where was it I was going? But these thoughts were quickly interrupted.**

"**I would love that." I turned to Quil and he wore the biggest smile I had ever seen. And I returned one.**

"**Thank you," I said. As I turned the car back on, I patted the seat close to me motioning him to sit nearer to me. He slid over and to my surprise put his deliciously warm arm around my waist**

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Qui directed me through La Push to his small cottage like house. That sat vine-covered next to possibly the biggest oak tree I had ever seen. I couldn't help but giggle slightly at the thought of such a large being in such a small house. I stepped out of the car and opened the second cab door to see Quil already holding all of my bags smiling at me.

I smiled in return and walked around the truck to walk by his side into the house.

When we stepped inside, the heavenly aroma of cinnamon rolls baking, emanated from wherever the kitchen was, through the entire house. Quil set my bags down on the plaid couch sitting in the center of the room and motioned for me to sit before walking in the direction of what I would guess was the kitchen.

I sat on the couch alone and looked around the cozy room where I was seated. The couch and a matching reclining chair and a mahogany coffee table were the only furniture. The walls were lined with pictures of Quil growing up, mostly accompanied by Embry and Jacob, and a couple with a beautiful woman I had never seen.

I got off the couch and walked over to the frames. I outlined Jake's smiling young face with my finger and felt anger and sadness well up inside me. "I'm so sorry Jake," I whispered as if he could hear me, but deep down I knew that he could wherever he was, "I love you Jake, so much, I'm so sorry," Finally, the missing tears that had been absent since my talk with Edward flooded my eyes, as I traced Jacob's picture.

"Bella?" I heard Quil gently say from the doorway. I tried to dry the tears running down my face before turning around, to see Quil and a small woman standing next to him. I remembered her from the picture of them two standing on the beach.

"Oh, Bella," Quil walked swiftly over to me and smothered me into a warm hug. My tears flowed down my face as he lifted me and cradled me to his chest. Underneath my tears I blushed at the thought of Quil holding me like this with the other woman in the room, but when I looked up, I saw her smiling warmly at me, the motherly smile reminded me of Esme and a new stream of tears ran down my face.

I cried for no less than 10 minutes in Quil's arms, but when finally the river had quieted, I noticed Quil was rocking me sitting on the soft couch. I lay my head on his chest and closed my eyes wanting nothing more than to sleep.

As soon as I remembered that we were in _his_ house asking if _I_ could stay, I jumped up feeling very rude and walked over to the woman walking back out of the kitchen, holding a huge tray of giant cinnamon rolls. She smiled at me again and Quil came up to my side.

"Bella, this is my mother, Fleur ((flower in French)) Ateara, Mom, this is Isabella Swan," I held my hand out to her and balancing the plate in one hand she gave me a light hug.

"It's nice to meet you Bella, I am so sorry for what you have gone through," She looked into my eyes and smiled genuinely at me.

"Thank you, Mrs. Ateara, you have a gorgeous home," She rolled her eyes slightly and laughed.

"Please call me Fleur, and its Ms. Ateara, Quil's father died when he was 2." She stated matter of factly walking over to set the rolls on the dark wooded table.

I looked up at Quil who was looking at his hands again. "Quil, I am so sorry," I said pulling him into me.

"Its alright," He shrugged and looked back over to his mother. "So it's okay if Bella stays with us Mom?" Fleur looked over and me and smiled

"Of course! You can stay Bella for as long as you'd like," With that I gave Fleur another hug and watched her trot back into the kitchen and from the sounds she was making, started another batch of cinnamon rolls.

I stared at the floor for a moment thinking over what was happening but was interrupted by the sounds of a stampede coming in the door. I promptly turned to see Embry, Sam, Jared, and Paul trampling into the room. Jumping over each other to the tray of cinnamon rolls.

I watched them with curious eyes, giggling to myself as I watched whom I thought to be Embry and Paul fighting over the cinnamon roll with the most icing. Suddenly, Sam snapped his head up from where he was sitting on the couch and glared at me. "What are _**you**_ doing here?!" he said calmly but with as much venom in his words as possible.

The rest of the boys looked up when he started talking and immediately shared the same expression. I shifted away from them slightly, into the short hallway that lead to the kitchen. I was afraid. Very very, afraid. I had hurt Jacob, badly. The vampire I had loved had killed Jacob. I was the enemy, the girl associated in every way with the werewolf's natural enemy. And I was in the same room with 4 shaking werewolves staring icily at me.

I knew this couldn't all end well. I mean, I had made a decision to stay with the youngest of the werewolf pack in La Push, I had left _him, _and Charlie had no idea where I was, Stupid Stupid. I was easy bait. I coward away from them leaning into the wall. "I'm sorry," I whispered to no one in particular.

"Get out! I do not want you on La Push land EVER!" that was Sam. I nodded and started to inch towards the door. When I heard the voice of my favorite boy of the day.

"Don't talk to her like that! She's staying with me. I'm keeping her safe!" I opened my eyes that I hadn't realized were closed and stared at Quil who had a surprised and determined look on his face as he stared at Sam.

"Quil. Don't be STUPID! Her bloodsucking boyfriend killed Jake!" Quil looked at the floor and replied,

"She doesn't love him anymore. She was going to leave." He barely whispered loud enough for me to hear. _How did he know I didn't love him anymore? How would he have known unless he had listened to my conversation with him. Oh no, he didn't. Oh lord please don't let him say that. _

"How would you know?" Sam asked voicing my question. He had the smuggest expression on his face and I wanted to go over and slap it off.

"I heard her, tell him." My heart stopped. _Oh God. He had listened_. _That's why he's been so nice. _"She told him she hated him."

That comment made the ever-increasing hole in my chest rip. _What had I done?! But it was true every word he said, was right. _

"Bella? Is that true?" Sam had turned to me. He spoke in a calmer voice that was still cold, but rang with authority.

I could only nod, and sank down to my knees. _I ruined everything. Jake, Sam, Quil, the Cullens, him. _I gasped for breath that was being viciously ripped out of me by the hole shredding through my torso. The last thing I heard was Quil soft voice screaming, "God Damnit Sam! What did you do to her! Bella?! Bella?!" I tried to reply but nothing came out of my mouth that felt it was being filled with un-inhaled air. I felt my body start shaking and I let the tearing feeling bring me with it into the dark, unfeeling, coldness I wanted. "Oh God. Mom!"

Then it went black, all I could feel was the newly found warm comfort that I lay against.

**I really hope that you liked it since I can't post for a while… Thank you to everyone that reviews it makes me very happy… and to those who don't please do. **

**Have a FANTABULOUS week!… xoxox**

**CAT!**

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	9. Sunrise

**Hey I hope everyone had an amazing week mine was INTENSE!! LOL.. I went on a school camping trip… anyways..**

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own the characters and the books Ms. Meyers does… blah blah blah… god if I didn't think money crazed lawyers would come after me I would completely leave this out…**

**Okay this chapter is a little slow, but has meaning I promise…**

Recap: I could only nod, and sank down to my knees. _I ruined everything. Jake, Sam, Quil, the Cullens, him. _I gasped for breath that was being viciously ripped out of me by the hole shredding through my torso. The last thing I heard was Quil soft voice screaming, "God Sam! What did you do to her! Bella?! Bella?!" I tried to reply but nothing came out of my mouth that felt it was being filled with un-inhaled air. I felt my body start shaking and I let the tearing feeling bring me with it into the dark, unfeeling, coldness I wanted. "Oh God. Mom!"

Then it went black, all I could feel was the newly found warm comfort that I lay against.

As I mulled over everything that had occurred, I dreamt of _him_.

Dream:

I was in Jacob's room, sometime before he died, his muscular chest rose and fell gently with his sleeping breath. I tried to walk over to him, to cradle him and hug him and tell him it was all okay, but my feet felt glued to the floor. I tried to scream to him, to tell him I was sorry but my throat only restrained my mouth from opening.

I felt trapped. Trapped in my body, standing in a corner when I should be protecting my best friend from the world, or what was _my world._ I almost felt myself crumple as I thought this to myself. I am protecting my sunshine, my brother, my best friend from _him._

In the middle of that thought, something crashed through the window. Glass flew everywhere, and in an instant Jacob was up crouched on his small bed, menacing

growls coming from his shaking body. The other creature that had hurtled into the window was in the opposite corner of the room bent down into a lunging position.

I immediately recognized the scene for what it was, I was seeing the night Edward killed Jacob. My throat burned as I struggled as hard as I could to scream at Edward to not touch my Jake, but no sound came.

I had never seen Jacob look so threatening in his still human form, no doubt to try and save what he could of his room. His eyes were stitched to the cold form in the corner, his muscled tensed, his entire being shaking. The vampire in the other side of the room was baring his razor sharp, venom-dripping teeth that gleamed with the light of the moon. His hard shell of a body looked as if it had been carved from stone, statuesque in his intimidating position.

"She's mine and will always be mine, you dog, I'll leave you here alive if you promise to stay as far away from her as is possible." _He _said from where he was, across the seemingly crowded room. His statement was most likely in response to something he heard from Jacob's thoughts. I watched intently trying with all my might to somehow reach Edward or Jacob to tell them to impede what was close to taking place.

"Never! You left her in pieces and I made her one again. She will realize that eventually and see you for what you truly are you LEECH! She will cower away from you and run to me, she loves you but she loves me more, you're keeping her from what she wants!" Jacob said out loud for whatever reason in an almost whisper. I could see the fear in _his_ eyes as Jake voiced these words.

My heart both pained and swelled from Jacob's words, he had made me one again, he had taken my pieces and tried to help me, he did help me, I would have died without him. But, when this was happening days before would I have taken Jake over _him?_ My body cringed as I accepted the true answer. No, I would have stayed with _him._

"I love you Jacob, I love you so much! I am so so sorry! I love you, Goodbye," I thought as hard as I could, hoping that somehow he would hear me.

His head turned to mine for a moment and I thought he had heard me, but it was interrupted by a ominous roar.

As I watched, Jacob lunged at the marble being and they both collided in what had to be the most horrifying moment of my life.

My body dropped to the hard floor, as I saw both of my once loved, fly through the broken window fighting in a horrendous battle.

Finally, my throat released and I screamed as loud as I could, "Edward, NO!"

"No, no Edward! Don't! Please!" I screamed. For some reason I felt myself being rocked. By something incredibly warm against me.

"Bella? Bella, shhhhh, it's okay, it's okay," It wasn't the voice I had been expecting. I recognized it but couldn't place exactly whom it was. "Bella, open your eyes, it's okay," I was confused. Open my eyes? They were open. I was about to protest, but when I tried to lift my eyelids further, I was surprised to see a brightly lit room around me.

I looked around and panicked, Where am I!? Where's Jake?! I felt fear pool up inside me. "Help!" I screamed and sat up abruptly.

"Bella? Help you what? What's wrong Bella?" I turned around towards the voice and saw Quil right behind me. I looked down and realized I was sitting in his warm lap. "Bella?" his voice was so soothing, so I lay gently onto his chest and noticed that my entire body was shaking. "It's okay,"

"Oh Quil," I whispered, and started sobbing. He rubbed small circles on my back and continually asked me what had happened.

After at least twenty minutes my tears had run dry and my throat ached from breathing unevenly. I leaned against Quil's deliciously warm body and tried to calm myself.

"Bella?" Quil asked softly into my ear. I looked up into his gorgeous hazel eyes in response. "What happened? One minute you looked scared to death of Sam the next you were passed out, and just now you started screaming." He looked into my eyes searching for an explanation. He was truly concerned, it melted my heart a little to know that he cared.

"Quil, I don't know, I just, I-" I didn't truly know what had happened exactly myself.

"You can tell me, Bella. Please. Do you trust me?" He asked capturing my small hand in his.

I nodded my head truthfully. I really did trust him for some reason. I trusted him with everything, and I barely knew him. I smiled at him and thought twice about what I was going to tell him and decided the entire story was the best explanation. So I explained everything from the time when Sam started talking, to when I woke up.

During the story, there were parts that I would have to stop and take a deep breath before continuing, especially the parts about _him._ Every time I did this, Quil would grab my hand or rub my back, to make sure I knew he was still there for me. And every time, my heart grew more and more attached to the werewolf whose lap I was sitting in, being coaxed into telling the most painful nightmare I had ever had. And for whatever reason I was fine with this. I could feel the holes both Jacob and _he_ had created being in filled in fully.

When the story was over I stared at Quil. His eyes were downcast probably thinking over everything I had thrown at him. "Do you think I'm crazy?" I half joked half asked.

"Never." He grabbed my hands from their position in my lap and I cocked my head to the side in question. "Bella, I have to tell you something."

"Okay?" I asked straightening my posture a bit.

"Bella, since the first time I met you, I thought you were amazing. I never agreed with Sam when he thought that you were a bad influence around here when Edward left you." I cringed a little from the bad memory that, that blatant statement brought up. He paused immediately, "I'm sorry Bella, I know you don't like that, I just forgot for a minute I'm sorry." He looked into my eyes pleading and I smiled gently and nodded signaling my absolve. "Okay," He smiled and shifted me in his lap so I was sitting where I could look into his eyes. "Bella, I was madder at him, for leaving you than Jake was. If that's possible." I chuckled to myself at that thought. "I feel something with you Bella, like we are meant for each other." I let out a breath I had been holding and looked down at our entwined hands.

I felt something but was that it? Were we meant for each other? I mean that's what I had thought about _him_ to but this was different. I don't feel anything that would make me scared about being with him but still could that be it? I don't know. "Quil, I- I- I just don't know," I said shaking my head.

"That's okay Bella." Quil exhaled, "Really, that's fine. I just wanted you to know, you know, what I thought," I smiled at his comment and gave him a hug.

"Maybe, Quil, maybe." I said quietly, I felt his body fill with a breath and could almost feel him smile. I almost fell asleep right then and there.

"You don't have to stay with me you know." Quil said almost too quietly to be heard as if he didn't want me to catch it.

"I want to Quil, really." I looked up at him still lying against his chest and he smiled warmly at me.

"Okay, Bella, what ever you want." And at that moment I had a feeling that here was something between Quil and I. Something I was going to fight like hell for, and I knew I wasn't leaving his side unless it was absolutely needed.

His large hand stroked my brown hair and I nuzzled my cheek against his chest trying to capture as much of his warmth as I could.

We sat together for awhile as I finally got a look around one side of the room I was in. It was pretty small from what I could see, the walls were painted light blue with dark green stripes from what I could make out of the spots that weren't cluttered with hunting posters. We were sitting together on a queen sized bed that had a denim light blue comforter on top, and there were matching pillows where Quil leaned. I smiled and laughed to myself when I saw a small and very dirty teddy bear sitting on top of a stack of CDs in the corner of his room.

As I sat and memorized the room I heard a small knock at the door. I sat up slightly and turned to see Fleur open the door. She had a plate of what looked to be oatmeal raisin cookies in her hand and she smiled widely when she saw that I was awake.

"Hello hunny, I'm glad you're awake I was worried about you." I smiled and nodded my head in thanks. "Quil, why don't you show her the guest room?"

"Alright Mom," Quil said almost as if he was annoyed. We both said thank you when she set the plate of pastries on the side table.

When Fleur closed the door behind her, Quil lifted me up from his lap and set me beside him to grab the plate. He offered one to me and I took it graciously not having realized how hungry I was.

As we both sat on his bed, eating the delicious cookies, Quil asked me questions about my life some were hard to answer and some were as easy as favorites. I was content, no, I was happy. Very happy.

I laughed at Quil when he got crumbs on his chin and he found my most ticklish spot in one try. We were comfortable with each other and I knew that this time I wouldn't willingly choose someone over the La Push boy that I had so quickly came to adore.

**I hope you liked it!!... Review please!!! If anyone has suggestions please give them to me!!...xxoxoox**

**CAT**


	10. Meant for Each Other

**HELLO EVERYONE!!... Thanks to those who are reviewing but seriously I would like a few more reviews per chapter so I can center my story around what you peoples want… well sort of… haha**

**Anyways thanks for reading and ENJOY!!**

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I woke up to Quil's soft voice calling my name quietly. I rolled over and pulled the covers over my head. I heard him chuckle gently and call my name again.

"Goway," I sleepily managed to say.

"Come on Bella, I want to show you something," Quil pleaded, I responded by putting the small peach colored pillow over my head. "Please, Bella Nella Wella?" His voice had turned from pleading to one that dripped with the childish puppy dog pout that as surely planted on his adorable face.

I grunted and I felt his hands find my waist from over the comforter and gently squeeze, making me squirm."Fine!" I said almost laughing and tried to sit up, failing miserably.

"Oh come on sleepy head!" Quil said amused.

Before I could attempt getting out of bed again I felt myself and the blankets around me, being lifted into his warm arms and being walked out of my room.

I looked around and noticed that it was still dark. Where is he taking me! I thought to myself as pleasant visions of being asleep bombarded my mind.

"What time's it?" I asked annoyed.

"5:50" he replied happily. I felt myself droop over farther.

"In the fucking morning?!" I stated quite loudly trying to wiggle out of his arms to walk back to my room.

"Wow someone's not too enjoyable in the morning," He held me close as I tried to struggle out his soft but firm embrace. I was going to protest farther but was interrupted as we walked out onto his front porch, "I wanted to show you this,"

I looked away from his chest and gasped at the sunrise that was painted amazingly before me. Every shade of pink, red, blue, purple, and yellow flooded the sky as the sun circled the earth again. I couldn't take my eyes away from the water-color like painting stretched out on the horizon, as I felt Quil sit down in the old rocking chair in the perfect spot for viewing.

"I thought you'd like it," He mumbled against my hair.

"Quil, it's beautiful!" I answered turning to look at the smile widening on his face matching his adoring hazel eyes.

"Not as beautiful as you," I felt my cheeks warm as a blush invaded my privacy. I smiled and looked back at the sky. "It's true you know. You are the most amazingly gorgeous girl I have ever met," My blush reddened further and I nuzzled my head against his chest and pulled up the blankets farther on top of us, even though it wasn't needed with his already warm body.

"Thank you," I whispered quietly.

We sat together on the porch for another hour watching the splash of color turn into a light blue. My body reveled in the warmth radiating off of his as I listened peacefully to the endearing beating that kept his amazing body alive. With every heartbeat I felt myself caring Quil even more.

I tried to match the calm rise and fall of his chest among every breath, and possibly felt more serene than I had since I moved to Forks, or I guess now, La Push.

Destroying the moment, my stomach growled, I scowled at myself not wanting to move and felt Quil lift me up and carefully set me on my feet. "Let's go eat!" He announced and concluded that he was just as or hungrier than me.

We walked in the front door and just as it had two days before when I first came here the smell of cinnamon rolls wafted through the air.

"Mmmm, my favorite!" Quil exclaimed with his head back and his eyes closed.

I laughed and something occurred to me, "Why is your Mom up so early?" I asked Quil looking at a clock, it said 7:18.

"She's always gotten up this early." He shrugged as we walked together towards the small kitchen.

"Good morning you two!" Fleur sang happily as when we entered.

"Good morning mom," Quil said wrapping his arms around his delicate mother and kissed her cheek.

I smiled at them both and thought about mornings with Renee. Memories that brought back unwelcome feelings flooded my mind and I thrust them back concentrating on the question I was being asked. "Is that okay Bella?" Fleur asked stirring some kind of batter.

"I'm sorry what were you asking?" I asked embarrassed at my lack of attention. She only smiled and repeating her sentence.

"I said, that I had to drive to Seattle today and won't be home until late tonight, and if you needed me for anything," She smiled warmly at me.

"No, no that's fine," I said truthfully smiling to myself about being alone with Quil. I caught Quil's eye for a moment and I would have bet that I saw that same smile reflected on his face.

"Alright then hun, breakfast will be ready in about 10 minutes," Fleur said ushering Quil out the door.

"Thanks," I replied and gave her a quick hug before exiting the room also.

When I walked into the living room I didn't see Quil anywhere. But, right before I could call his name, a very strong figure jumped out at me from the closet and gently swung me into his arms, playfully roaring at me. I laughed and played along, pretending to punch his chest, pushing away.

"Ahhhhh! Monster!" I screamed laughing.

Quil ran me to his room and flung me onto his bed. He growled at me again and jumped onto the bed so his arms and legs were on either side of me. I was laughing uncontrollably as he growled and gently jumped up and down shaking the matress.

"Don't eat me!" I yelled still laughing, but sat up when Quil got up and sat on the edge of the bed no longer playing. "Quil?" I questioned.

"I wouldn't eat you Bella. I'm not like those leeches, I would never-" I put my hand over his mouth to quiet him, and looked into his amazing eyes.

"Quil, you know that's not how I meant it. I was only playing, you can't take things like that." I stated crawling into his lap. "You know I did not mean it that way." I looked from eye to eye and tried to convince him with everything in my body.

He looked down defeated, "I know. It's- it's just that when I think about things like that it makes me crazy that you let him that close to hurting you. That he could have done so much in so little time." He gently pulled my head to his chest and lay back on the bed drawing the denim comforter over us. "I just can't think about ever losing you. Especially to that," I felt slight tremors through his body and started to draw small circles on his upturned hand to calm him.

"You didn't lose me Quil. I'm right here. Safe. With you." I looked back to his face and saw his eyes gazing into mine.

"With me," he repeated quietly and slowly rolled over so that I was underneath him.

I nodded my head slowly and minutely smiled. I watched as his eyes closed and his face leaned towards mine.

My head was spinning with thoughts of _him_ and Jake and Charlie and everything. But I couldn't seem to turn my head from the oncoming confirmation of love.

_Is this what I want? Is Quil who I'm supposed to be with? Do I love Quil? _At that moment the only answer I could come up with, that made sense, was yes, to every question.

Before any more questions could cloud my mind, warm and soft lips landed softly on mine.

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	11. Vacancy

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**Edward's POV-**

My dead heart felt more vacant, more bare than it had since I met my angel. Even the feelings I had dealt with when I had left her could not compare to what my body was experiencing now.

_She left you. It is your fault. You did this._

Those three thoughts droned on over and over and over reverberating meaningfully through my numb mind. Those thoughts were the only things keeping me from running to my only love and begging her to take me back.

My body was insensible, lying on the hard floor of my now furniture-less bedroom. Everything had reminded me of her, her beauty that drew every vision-abled male to her, her floral scent that intoxicated my every sense, her laugh that rang like tiny bells through my undeserving ears, her cheeks as they blushed a deep pink of her soft warm cheeks, her affectionate brown eyes that could have convince me into doing almost anything, her clumsiness that very well may have killed her every three steps, her everything. She was perfect. She was the only being on earth I wanted to spend eternity with. She should have been-

_No, no, no! You cannot think about her. Only about what __**you**__ did!_ I screamed at myself trying unsuccessfully to repress the images of my true love.

I closed my eyes willing the twisting of my useless stomach and the painful clutches of my dead heart away. I rocked back and forth retreating back into my tearless sobs.

I heard a loud knock on the door, and listened for a moment to their thoughts to find out who it was. Emmett. His thoughts were rushed as he knew that I wouldn't listen for long. _Edward! Come out! You can try and get her back! You can't just sit-_ I tuned him out. I didn't want to hear anymore.

There wasn't anything else I could do. She left. She didn't want me. I killed Bella's best friend. I felt a low growl come from my throat as I thought this. He shouldn't have been her best friend. He was dangerous. He was not under any kind of control. He was a bloody _**dog**_! I felt my body stiffen in response to thinking about the mutt, but calmed down knowing he was gone. But so was she.

My thoughts always retuned to her. Everything I thought about revolved around her. She was my world, my sun, my moon, my sky, _my heart_. My Bella.

Pictures of her angelic face swirled in my mind mixing with memories of the meadow, the night in Fort Angeles, prom, Phoenix, the Volturi, the first night she whispered my name. Everything as amazing, perfect even, and I ruined it, I destroyed everything.

I wanted to go back to the Volturi, this time, not to come back. But my family wouldn't allow it, they already knew that most likely I would try and kill myself without her. They would be very protective. I hated myself. Everything I had created. I hated what I had done_. All for what? To see that damn dog dead? Well congratulations! He is dead! And look what it did! _I screamed at myself.

Memories of that night and a couple nights before flooded my mind. I gave in, feeling too weak to fight off the inevitable.

I was running in the forest back to Bella. I had gone hunting for the night and wanted to be with her for at least an hour before the sun came up, to watch her sleep. The moment I was out of the dark trees that bordered Charlie's house I smelled it.

That rancid, almost rotten smell, it bombarded my senses and I stopped my unnecessary breathing. I crouched low, and scanned what I could see of the house and the trees for it. A werewolf. And a young one from the newer, less potent smell. I didn't have one doubt about who it was. Jacob was around here. Somewhere. _Did he dare be in Bella's room?_ I snarled at the thought.

Suddenly his thoughts wove into my mind. I tried to fight them away but instead I listened, morbid curiosity getting the best of me. I shook violently but forced myself to stay put to listen to what he was doing before I forced him away.

_He doesn't deserve her. He can't love her like I could. He doesn't love her like I do. He's a monster! A leech! He kills, Bella, he kills! Don't you see that? How are you so peaceful sleeping right now when he could instantly take your life away?! _

I snarled at that thought. Killing my precious Bella. Never. I started towards her bedroom window.

_Bella, I love you so much, so so so much. He forced you to go with his that day in the woods, I know he did. You want to be with me. And now you will be. Mine forever. _

I quietly climbed the tree at inhuman pace and roared at the scene before me. Bella's delicate hands were tied together. Jacob had some type of cloth stretched tight between his two hands. He was lowering it over Bella's mouth. _He's going to kidnap her! _ My instincts screamed to let the monster in me out and kill Jacob. But I couldn't not here not in front of her. I wouldn't be able to resist.

Suddenly Jake paused, undeniably because he had smelled me. I saw visible tremors running down his spine. He snapped his head up to look at me and snapped his teeth.

I growled very lowly. And bared my razor teeth back at him. _She's coming with me bloodsucker! _His thoughts yelled at me. "She is going nowhere." I replied my voice dripping with seriousness and dominance. _She wants to be with me! ME! _I raised my eyebrows questioning his opinion. He seemed to recoil a bit but stayed surprisingly upright.

"Get out now!" I hissed glaring my teeth as much as possible. I backed away from the window to the other side of Bella's bed. He was about to protest. But instead walked to the window stealthily turning around only to say,

"I will take her away from here eventually leech. She loves _me_." His thoughts backed up his statement only in more violent and physical shows. Another growl emanated from my throat and he jumped out of the window.

I walked to the sill to make sure he had left and witnessed a large dog-like creature sprinting into the forest.

I carefully walked to Bella's side and very gently and very rapidly untied her hands, pausing immediately after to make sure I hadn't woken her. She rolled over and whispered my name. I smiled to myself. "Yes, my love I am here." I dropped the thin rope and lay down beside her, gathering her small body into mine. She smiled minutely and cuddled into my side.

I knew she was safe. As long as I was with her, she was safe. At least from him.

Two days later, I knew something had to be done.

I had left her alone for only an hour so that she could talk with Charlie. When I returned to her house I smelled him at once, but this time I only saw him running away back into the forest. The only thoughts I managed to catch were, _One day leech. One day. _

So that night when Bella slept, I broke the treaty, the treaty that kept my family and I from being run off away from Forks. I went to La Push and killed Jacob.

I had only planned to talk to him. Warn him about the severe punishment of getting too close to Bella. But, his dream I had seen when I walked to his window snapped all of the sanity I had.

In his dream, he was running with Bella, she was a werewolf. She looked like herself almost with the same brown eyes, same smile. But she was a wolf! A mutt! A dog! I felt my lifeless stomach heave at the thought. I tried to repress the thought, because I knew that it was impossible but when he leaned in to kiss her, even in a dream, I snapped and lunged in his bedroom window. Splintered glass flew everywhere.

I didn't tell Bella about Jacob trying to kidnap her, because she would never have believed me. Not to mention she probably would have become excruciatingly angry with me for saying it, which would have made it harder to stay with her all of the time, keeping her safe.

I should have told her when I told her that I had killed that _mutt_. But even then I knew she wouldn't have believed me and would have been madder than she had been. I tried to explain it to her, but I had lie to her, only tell her part of the truth. I told her that we ran into the pack from La Push when my family and I were out hunting. That, that's when I had listened to his thoughts.

It hurt me to know I had lied. But, I had to keep her safe. Keep her from doing any thing irrational. No, I was selfish. I didn't want her any madder than she had been. I did it for me. I lied to save myself from more of her anger.

The lividness I had with myself at that moment deepened. _What had I done?! I had to tell her. I had to make her listen. I had to make her believe me. How? I didn't even know where she was. _

But I had to try. I would try. Even if it killed me. I would find her and tell her the truth. Everything.

Alice would know where she was. I hope she knew where she was. I suddenly leaped from the floor suddenly rejuvenated. And flew through the door to find my sister.

When I left my room, everyone's thoughts broke through my mind some angry some sympathetic some undecided. With little energy I found Alice sitting in her room on Jasper's lap, crying softly.

"Alice?" I asked quietly. Jasper was already staring at me with sad eyes. _You took Bella from her to, Edward. She won't talk to you easily. _I nodded in response to Jasper's thoughts and called Alice's name again.

This time she looked up at me. Her face looked completely unemotional. But I could see sadness buried deep within her almost charcoal black eyes. "Alice, I need your help." I half questioned half begged.

She shot me a deadly glare but responded, "With what Edward? Killing someone else? Driving another family member from our lives?" She spoke fast and meaningfully. Her words stabbed into me but I knew I deserved every one.

"No, I just need to know where Bella is." I stated quietly hanging my head, shying away from her death stare. I felt a wave of calmness wash over the room and I looked up briefly to thank Jasper. He stood next to a now standing Alice, with his am around her waist.

"You want to know where she is Edward?!" I nodded pathetically. "You want to know where you drove her?!" she screeched in her high pitched melodic voice. Again I nodded. "She's in La Push! She's staying with that Quil guy you got in a fight with! Happy Edward?" She paused for a moment but quickly continued. "She's probably going to get hurt! He is the newest of the werewolf pack! And she's staying with him, so she can be away from you! God Damnit Edward!" Her voice raised intensity with the last statement. Inside, my body winced and pained with the sincerity and the actuality of her words.

I looked up briefly at a fuming Alice, she was being held back from most likely hurting me by Jasper who had a tight grip around her waist. "Thank you." I barely whispered. And ran out of their room into the hall to hear Alice collapse into sobs. I ran as fast as possible back to my room and slammed the door locking it and fell to the floor into a heap of sobs.

_What had I done!_ My thoughts tortured me, as tear less cries racked my body. _She is gone. And she could be in danger! Oh Lord what had I done!_ Finally I made up my mind. I would try and get her back. No longer how long it took, or how much effort it needed, I would put everything into my attempt to show my sincerest apology and love for my Bella. Anything for Bella. But how?

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	12. The Question

**Real quick I want to thank some people: mostly: ****BellaJacoblove and Marble Meadow**** for their amazing help with my story… I don't think I would still be writing it without you two!!!... Also, thank you to everyone that has ever and will ever review my story you people shape my story and inspire me to write the next chapter… Thank you**

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**Quil's POV (surprise)-**

_It has been 6 days since she's been staying with us. That's enough time right? I mean she kissed me only yesterday morning, she didn't seem to mind. So, that means she likes me right? God, this is so confusing! Girls are so so- AH! I don't even know…they're- they are so weird! I mean I like- I mean I think I might even love her so I kissed her. I showed her that I love her. She sort of showed me to, sort of, I guess, she kissed me back, well I sort of, we only kissed for like a second but still she didn't pull away. So that means she likes me right? Right?! _

_Oh no! what if she just couldn't pull away? What if having the pillow behind her head restrained her so that she couldn't pull away when I tried the kiss her. AH! That's horrible. No, no no no no no that's not it. She could have pulled away or pushed or something. No, she likes me at least a little. I think. AH! I hate this! But I love her. Yes, I love Isabella Swan. I have since I met her. I am not losing that. So just ask! Go!_

_Ready and knock! No no no, AH! I can't do it!... Yes you can! _

My thoughts had dashed around in my mind like this for at least an hour. I was pacing outside of her room, every couple minutes I would reach for the handle or gather my hand into a fist to lightly knock on the door but my mind would again swirl with thoughts of rejection or some kind of miserable ending.

I wanted to take Bella on a date tonight. I wanted to take her down by the beach and eat a picnic with her, to keep her warm cuddling her to my side shielding her from the world keeping her body, her heart, her life all to myself. To keep her from Cullen. My body shook with anger every time I thought of him.

I would see the picture of Jake lying lifelessly on the blood soaked earth, Bella's un-emotional eyes when I first met her after he had left, her tears when she cried because of what he had done. They would individually flash in my mind making me restrain the new sensations of anger pulsing in my blood, down my spine, into my very core. But, I would think of her. Bella. Her amazing smile, the laugh that would never cease to bring a grin to my face, the coolness of her skin on mine, her hair as it flew aimlessly and beautifully in the wind. I would immediately calm down not wanting to even have the chance to harm her.

The pack had accepted her somewhat. They knew I wouldn't willingly let her leave without trailing behind, so they all followed Sam's lead to get used to her presence. I had astounded everyone that day, standing up to Sam. No one questioned Sam's ruling, but I had, had to. I had to keep her safe, with me.

They warned me, all of them separately some more harshly then others. I had to keep calm, I was very young, I couldn't risk changing at any time. They would leave me with her for a week, but I after that, they needed me to help patrol the land. I couldn't protest this offer; it was more than I thought I would receive. Sam needed to train me, to restrain, to change, to hunt, to track, to _kill_. But, he would wait, because he understood. He understood love.

As I paced back and forth in the hallway debating with myself on what I was going to do I tried to think of the possible good outcomes instead of the negatives. I could ask, put everything out there, leave her to decide. Or I could leave now dignity in tact, not risking getting angry and changing, not making rejection a possibility.

No, I would ask. She was living in this house with me for God sakes! She had to sort of like me. Slowly I knocked on the wood door. An angelic little voice called from the other side, "Hold on!" I waited and heard the close of a book and then as she made her way to the door, she tripped a hushed "Shit," fell from her mouth. I tensed ready to go inside immediately in case she was hurt.

"Are you alright?" I asked hand already on the door knob.

"Just dandy!" she said sarcastically. But then the door opened, and a slightly ruffled and blushing Bella appeared. A smile erupted over my face, and I knew I looked like an idiot smiling like a clown at the most beautiful being in the world. "Hi," she breathed.

"Hello," I replied trying to come up with words but none made a debut. We stood awkwardly in the doorway.

"Did you ummmm, need something? Or did you just come to say hi," she smiled quizzically at me.

"Oh uh, no- I well- I just," I looked down at the ground, hoping to reorganize my thoughts which was hard to do when distracted by her beauty. _Great now I sound like a bumbling idiot! Just great Quil! Great job!_

"Excuse me?" I heard Bella say interrupting my sarcastic self scolding. _Oh frick I must have said something out loud. _

"Uh, nothing," I tried to pass it off, "I just wanted to say hi," I nodded my head and shifted to the other foot smiling nervously.

"Okay then uh hi?" she laughed lightly after, which made my smile grow immeasurably listening to my favorite sound in the world.

"Hi," _Of course you say something stupid! God you should just go slam your head into something! Give up, you already sound like a frickin fool, don't make it any worse! _I thought to myself. Turning away from the door, "I'll talk to you later then," I sounded ridiculous and wanted to go sulk in my stupidity.

"Okay bye, Quil," Bella replied, holding back giggles. I took one step away from the door and was hit with sudden urgency. I ripped around again and grabbed the door just before it closed.

"Bella?" I asked quickly as she opened the door again with a slightly confused slightly questioning expression on her stunning face.

"Yes?"

"Ummmm, I was wondering, I mean you don't have to or anything, it was just an idea, uh," She nodded her head signaling me to continue. _Spit it out you idiot!_ "Well if you didn't have anything planned, or whatever, I mean if you do that's totally fine," Her face turned from question to possibly pondering how she ended up staying in a house with such a spaz. One of her delicate eyebrows as raised the other furrowed down, her head was tilted to the side and she was biting one side of her delicious looking lips. _Ask now! _"Bella would you go on a date with me tonight?" I said it faster than expected and felt a shocked expression reach my face after I finished realizing that I had finally done it, then I smiled at her.

Her smile grew, and I reveled as my chest swelled with delight knowing I had caused her happiness. She looked down devilishly for a moment, "Well, I _was _going to reorganize my suitcases and go to bed early," I felt my heart sink a little but it was soon brought back up and beyond where it had originally sat, "But if I rearranged, I guess that would be alright," She giggled girlishly. I smiled knowing that somewhere in that sarcasm was the answer I wanted, yes. "Quil?" I looked into her deep brown eyes that were fixed on mine, I almost looked down embarrassed at how plain mine were compared with hers, "I would LOVE to go on a date with you tonight,"

Again, my smile grew wider, which I didn't think was humanely possible, but obviously it was. She quickly jumped up and down very excitedly twice in female joy I guessed and then jumped into my arms. I was beyond myself in pure bliss. If she only stayed in my arms forever, I would die an amazingly happy man.

Our wonderful moment was cut short when I knew I had to start preparing. I looked back at Bella's adorable smile nuzzled into my chest and regrettably pulled her back. She still smiled as she leaned against the doorway.

"Can you be ready at 6?" I asked deciding that gave me enough time.

She glanced at the clock and by the look on her face calculated the hours in her mind. She scrunched her eyes a little and shrugged, "Yeah, I guess so, that's perfect." She smiled again and started back into her room eyeing her suitcases. "I will see you later then?" I could see the anticipation in her eyes and smiled yet again.

I nodded and then remembered something. "Bella?" She turned around grinning softly. "Thank you," Couldn't forget the manners. She laughed, and then replied,

"No, thank you," And paused. I turned to walk and heard her whisper, "For everything," When I twisted back to the door to answer the closed the door with a click. I only took a deep breath in utter unexplainable happiness and shook my head.

As I started down the stairs to where my mother was in the kitchen I muttered to myself making sure I told her later, "You are welcome, but deserve so much more, I would give you anything."

Down in the kitchen my always busy mother was stirring something that smelled deliciously thick with tomato. I rested my head on her shoulder and smiled as she held up the spoon for me to taste. I gladly took the red broth into my mouth and closed my eyes as its warmth spread through my throat.

"Delicious as always," I complimented handing the spoon back to her.

"Thank you, Thank you," she said pretending to take a bow. I laughed and then remembered my business down here.

"Mom?" I took a breath, nervous about telling my mom anything about Bella.

"Yes?" She retorted back to stirring the soup.

"I as wondering if you could help me. I need some uh- girl help," I looked at floor embarrassed. I saw a smile spread on her face in the reflection in the window and she turned around.

"You sure do," I cocked my head to the side signaling that I didn't understand.

"What do you mea-" I was cut short.

"Mom's know all," She said knowingly using her red splattered spoon for emphasis. "You love Bella," I stopped breathing. _How did she know?_ She inadvertently answered my thought, "Honey, I know these things, I can see it between you two, It's blatantly obvious. All you have to know is what to look for." She shook her head as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"What- What do you mean?" She turned back to her cooking but continued.

"You look at Bella, with the same eyes, the same adoring look your father used to give me. I would recognize it anywhere." I blushed and smiled at her comment. I thought I was doing well keeping my secret. "You know Quil? I think she loves you to?" I stopped breathing. "But for some reason I can almost see the constant debate inside her mind, like something is stopping her from loving you. As if she is still waiting for something. Someone." I sat on the counter in the kitchen of my little house; my mouth was hanging open gaping at my mother. She was amazing. She knew everything. Just like she had said before.

When I didn't reply she turned around to look at me, "Is there someone else Quil?" I was asking myself the same question.

"I don't know mom. I don't know." It was true. I had no idea. _I thought when she came to stay with me that she was over him. Over that bloodsucker. _Even one thought of him made me shake with anger. I calmed myself. _But was she? I mean she had loved him, or at least Jake said she had. And I saw the way she had looked at him that day, I could almost feel the love radiating off of her. But, I thought it was over. She left him. All of him. Right? _

I felt my mother's worried stare on me as I pondered everything over. I looked up and she looked not worried, but merely interested. Interested in helping, giving advice. So, I took the chance. I took the opportunity for help and explained everything.

I started from that first day meeting her, how I could immediately feel chemistry between us as she shook my hand and looked me in the eyes. The look of depression in her beautiful eyes because he left and the absolute hold it had on my heart. Then I told her about the leech. Edward Cullen, I told her what I knew about his and Bella's relationship, about the treaty, about my jealousy. I skipped months and went to Jacob's death. I told her everything. She didn't flinch once, not even when I told her who had killed him. Then I ended with the past week and a half, the fight, the pack's anger, and Bella.

My mom took everything, merely nodding and smiling at appropriate parts as if I was telling a story not admitting my every important emotion and event that had occurred in the last year or so.

I looked up after telling her about asking Bella on a date, and finally got to my question, "Mom, will you help me, learn to uh- dance? We only have about an hour but, I need to know how for tonight." I could feel her maternal smile on me as I raised my abashed gaze returning to hers, and she merely nodded. Walking over to me, she pulled me into a hug, "Oh, my little Quil, give her time, she loves you, but she needs time to get over Edward. I flinched angrily at his name, but instead thought about the idea of being loved by Bella. It sounded… like heaven.

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	13. Dancing

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**Pretty LONG chapter…**

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**Bella's POV**

As I closed the door to my room, I couldn't help but express my girlish joy. I squealed in happiness and ran to dive onto my bed. I hugged a fluffy pillow to my chest burying my head in it, laughed, and thought over what had just occurred.

_Quil asked me on a date! Tonight! Ah! _I could not stop smiling, the goofy grin plastered on my face would not disappear with any amount of trying. So I didn't try. I wallowed in the girly and immature giddiness that running through my body.

For the first time in a long time I wish I had a best friend to call and describe to her every single action and thing that Quil had said. To laugh with her, and falsely deny any claims of attraction. I wanted her to come over and help me pick out the perfect outfit and help me put on just the right amount of make-up.

My happiness suddenly plummeted. I did have a best friend like that, Alice. But, she wasn't my best friend any more. No, she had left my life when _he_ did.

Tears rolled silently down my face as I remembered all the times I had talked to Alice about my love for _him._ Whether it was at school when _he_ had gone hunting or on our way to go shopping or some other place I couldn't stand. I remembered her light and airy laugh when I told her that I wanted _him _to be my everything for the rest of eternity I remembered hers and Rosalie's plucking and prodding as they got me ready to go on a date with _him_. I wished more than anything that she could be with me right now, to share my overexcitement with, and have her give me fashion advice.

She couldn't be though, no, not anymore. I hated _him_ more for that. _He _took away so much with what he did. Esme's nurturing nature, Carlisle's doctoring expertise I desperately needed and his father-like figure, Emmett's teddy-bear like and goofy self, Rosalie's well spunk?, Jasper's cool and collected era, and Alice's entire personality, her presence made me feel better. My family_. He_ took them all away.

I walked into the small bathroom that was in my bedroom and used the towel hanging there to dry my tears. I couldn't let _him_ ruin my night. He wouldn't, I _won't let him_. I decided as I walked back into my room scanning over my suitcases that I had yet to unpack. _Now, what should I wear?_

**Quil's POV**

This was the hardest thing I had done in my entire life.

I had stepped on my poor Mom's feet at least 10 times. Not to mention, already breaking the frame of a picture on the wall. My mother's little shape made it easy for her to dance about gracefully, without a partner, quietly counting, "_1 and 2 and 3 and 4, 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and…." _

She said it was going to be easy, that dancing was only moving with the music. I had to run up to my room and grab the CD I had received for my birthday when I was 6 or 7 that I had never listened to. It had the perfect song on it. When she had listened to the song once, my Mom showed me a basic waltz, basically turning in a circle stepping forward side back side, but then you stepped side again then back! _AH! I can't do this!_

"Mom, this is way too hard. I don't really need to learn it's fine." I was silently cursing myself, I wanted to dance with Bella. I guess that's out.

"Quil." She looked at me with a if-you-give-up-I-will-personally-hurt-you sort of look. "You can do this. Just count."

I took another deep breath, "Okay." I walked back over to my mom and held my arms out just like she showed me waiting for her to join me.

"Try it by yourself." I threw my head back in utter protest but complied not too eager too upset her.

The music started and I tried to do the steps she had taught me, but tripped and fell onto the couch we moved out of the way. "I can't do this." I raised my hands and dropped them giving up.

"Yes, you can, try again." I sighed knowing it wouldn't end well, but if it made her happy.

The music turned on very softly so Bella wouldn't hear it and I took my stance. Suddenly I felt my mom's hands resting on my shoulder and hand that was outstretched. She nudged me and I started the steps she had taught. Quietly she whispered, "1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and 1 and 2 and 3 and 4," over and over in my ear.

Soon I found myself counting with her, dancing in a circle without tripping or second guessing my steps.

When the song ended, I went and turned off the CD player and turned to look at my very smug faced Mom. "Thanks," I nodded, and gave her a big hug.

"Your welcome, honey," I grabbed the CD player and was heading up the stairs again when she said, "Oh Quil?" I turned back,

"Yeah?"

"Don't you want to tell me what you want in the picnic basket?" I laughed for a minute,

"How did you-" I didn't even bother. Mothers know all. "Forget it." I laughed again and followed her into the kitchen.

"So, what is it you would like me to pack?" I thought about it for a moment and drew up a blank.

"I have no idea." I shook my head and walked to open the fridge.

"I'll have it all packed." Mom said pushing the door closed. "Go get ready." I gave her a peck on the cheek and ran up to my room to slip on a pair of tan slacks and a light green shirt that I had bought two days earlier.

**Bella's POV**

I walked out of my room, careful not to trip. I thought about trying to elegantly swish down the stairs and decided against it, too many chances to fall. So instead I grabbed the railing and walked cautiously down the staircase into the living room.

I had finally decided on a light blue sundress with a matching head band, and silver sandals with a little heel. After burning myself at least 3 times I gave up on curling my hair and instead blow dried it so that it gently fell over my shoulders, and my bangs rested in front of my head band. I didn't look too bad, I actually thought I did pretty well.

I blushed immediately when I reached the last step to find Quil, looking adorably gorgeous, staring at me with his mouth hanging open slightly. He wore a crisp green shirt that brought out his eyes, and nice slacks. I silently wondered if I should have dressed up further.

"Hi," I muttered walking over to him. He shook his head a little as if coming out of a trance. I blushed again.

"He- Hey," He swallowed and gave me a hug. "You look," He paused and I waited for him to continue but he seemed at loss of words, he would open his mouth but close it again trying to reach the word he was searching for. If at all possible my blush reddened more and I looked to the ground.

"She looks stunning," Fleur said coming out of the kitchen wiping her hands. She smiled at me and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Exactly," Quil exhaled. She turned to him and whispered something I couldn't hear. "Okay," he answered. "Thanks." He kissed her cheek and took my hand leading me out of the house.

"Bye," I called to Fleur as Quil urgently pulling me towards their Jeep. There was some things in the back seat that were covered in a blanket but when Quil caught me staring at it he said,

"No peeking, it's a surprise!" I laughed happily and agreed not to look.

We didn't talk on the way there. Quil held my hand and I rubbed small circles on the back of his palm. Every once in awhile he would look over at me and smile, and I would smile back, more content than I had been for some time.

I had no idea where were headed, and I liked it. I never liked surprises but right now it didn't matter to me where I was going, I had Quil with me, and that made me happy in itself. I silently wondered to myself if it was right that I had become so attached to Quil so fast, that I accepted him into my heart without a second thought, if I was betraying someone by adoring him so. I decided that it was perfect, for now Quil was what I needed and I wasn't going to challenge that.

So silently pondering what the future impended for us together, I didn't notice that we were stopped. I blushed slightly embarrassed by my lack of attention, and looked around. We were at the beach. The beach where Jacob and I had met, or rather met again. The beach where I almost drowned, and got attacked by Victoria in one day. The beach where I had learned what _they _were.

"Close your eyes," Quil said as he covered my eyes. I obliged and closed them.

"Alright." I giggled quietly. I waited for about 5 minutes smiling with anticipation. Finally, I felt Quil's hand take mine and him lifting me out of the car.

"Okay, open you eyes," Quil whispered into my ear as he set me on my feet.

When I did, what before me stunned me. Quil had the same blanket that had previously been over the things in the back, laid out in the sand. A picnic basket was sitting on the corner along with a cordless CD player and a bouquet of fresh flowers that I recognized and could name from Fleur's garden. A bottle of sparkling white grape juice was set against the picnic basket in the place of wine as well as two champagne glasses.

I couldn't help but gasp at the scene before me. The sun was just setting sending a rush of color over the sky, and before me was the nicest gesture anyone had ever done for me laid out on a sandy beach. I turned to Quil not able to say anything. My smile wouldn't allow any words out of my mouth, as I felt a tear run down my cheek.

Quil's face immediately twisted into concern, "Bella? Why are you crying?" He brushed the single tear off my cheek and pulled me into his arms.

"I'm just amazed Quil." He pulled back and looked at me very confused. "You're amazing. This is amazing." I motioned towards the picnic and its accompanying objects. "I can't believe you would do this for me. Thank you." I ended whispering, and pulled him close to me again.

"You deserve it Bella. You deserve this and so much more." I was about to object but as soon as I opened my mouth he placed his warm finger over my mouth. "I would give you anything." And just as he said that his deliciously warm lips crashed on mine. His feelings of lust, compassion, sympathy, sincerity, possibly love? poured into the kiss as he led me to the plaid quilt.

He stopped abruptly leaving me to shake my head in order to clear it of the daze I had fallen into. I smiled back at him, as he stared mirroring my position. I studied his endlessly genuine hazel eyes deciding that I would be fine if I ended up right where I was, alone with Quil underneath the setting sun, forever lost in the twilight of the moment.

I broke the gaze after a long moment and looked to the flowers that I could smell from where I was sitting. Quil followed my gaze and smiled like a small child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Sorry," he murmured and handed me the colorful bunch of plants in my hands.

I laughed slightly and put my face close to smell the full scent of the bouquet. The perfumes mixed together perfectly creating a gorgeous aroma that wafted through the air around me. I looked up to see Quil pouring the sparkling juice into the glasses. I set the flowers next to me and took the drink from Quil.

"To us," he declared holding his glass up for cheers, I laughed with him and clinked them together.

"To us," I said very quietly admitting it to myself more than anything that it this could be, if I let it. I took a sip and watched Quil unpack the basket.

2 bowls of fresh caeser salad, a plate of grilled lemon seasoned chicken, a still steaming bowl long grained wild rice, 3 pieces of vanilla carrot cake (2 for him, 1 for me), and 2 sets of ivory silverware and plates. Quil chuckled to himself and shook his head as if he thought he had outdone himself.

He looked up me motioning to all the dishes in front of me. "Pick whatever you would like."

I debated over what to eat first and decided to go with what I had learned in etiquette and scooped salad onto my plate. "Very nice," Quil complemented and followed suit.

We ate for a little over an hour clearing everything that had been prepared. Actually he ate most of it.

I laid my head on Quil's chest as he lay back on the sand. We both breathed deep in fulfillment and watched the stars. "Bella?" He whispered.

"Yes?" I whispered back.

"Thank you for coming with me tonight."

"You're welcome Quil, thank you for everything you did tonight,"

"The cooking was all my mom,"

"It was still delicious, I loved every moment of it,"

"I agree," we stopped talking for a little while, but I broke the silence not to long after,

"Quil, thank you for letting me stay with you."

"Of course Bella," He said sitting half way up on his elbows.

"I don't know where I would be without you." I smiled warmly at him and he reflected the same grin.

"Then you'll never be without me." He answered, taking my hand from where it sat resting on the ground beside me and kissing each finger.

"I would like that," We both lay back down but soon adjusted so that we were lying side by side cuddling. His warmth soothing my body, keeping the cold away from touching me.

The night sky was sparkling tonight, each little star helping light the sky making it out to be a dark blue instead of a pitch black. The moon hung perfectly amongst the rows of glitter elucidating the ground beneath. Shadows were cast over the earth fluttering in the wind. The night was perfect, everything was perfect, this is where I was meant to be.

"Bella?" Quil asked quietly into my ear again.

"Hmmm?" I responded still looking at the scenery above us.

"Would you like to dance?" He asked even softer, acting like he was giving me the okay to say no.

"I am really bad at dancing," I admitted, he only laughed,

"Me to, it's fine." With that I was helped up and watched as Quil inspected the CD player until he found the play button.

The world around us, that was moments ago silent, now drifted in the melody of a composition I had never heard. The song was perfect for dancing and as Quil gingerly grabbed my hand and rested his hand on my waist, I settled my hand on his broad shoulder.

We both stood still for a second not sure how to begin but Quil soon nudged forward and lead me in a basic four step dance, which I had never learned. After around 15 minutes I was no longer stepping on his feet and apologizing as we twirled in circles on the beach. The 6 minute song repeated itself as I looked deeply into Quil's eyes and him mine.

As the song ended again for the 5th time Quil held me out and twirled me around on his finger as I had done with my parents many times before when I was young. I smiled but was quickly interrupted by a piercing menacing growl emanating out of the dark forest. Quil pulled me tight to his chest as I shook and scanned the forest for the creature that had produced such a sound. I could feel Quil's heavy breathing that almost matched my fast intakes as he stepped protectively in front of me.

Not three seconds passed before a being erupted out of the trees running threateningly fast towards us. He stopped about 20 feet away from us as he bared his sharp venom coated teeth and looked with fiercely charcoal eyes that showed through the night at Quil.

I gasped and almost fell to the ground as I realized who it was. Edward Cullen was standing across the beach from us. And with the looks of him he did not like the scene before him. He glared at Quil with a look that would have made me shake and sob in fear. But Quil stayed still protecting me from my true love. Or who used to be that.

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	14. You will be mine

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**Recap: **I gasped and almost fell to the ground as I realized who it was. Edward Cullen was standing across the beach from us. And with the looks of him he did not like the scene before him. He glared at Quil with a look that would have made me shake and sob in fear. But Quil stayed still protecting me from my true love. Or who used to be just that.

Another vicious growl shook Edward's body. I could see the pooling livid hate in his coal black eyes. It seemed as though the seconds were ticking by like eternities in themselves, drawing out the moment into torture. My human body was shaking uncontrollably in fear, hiding behind the boy who has been my solace the entire time that I have been going through what I am. I wouldn't let him go. No Quil was mine, it was staying like that.

Edward's razor-sharp teeth were barred as he crouched into a feline like stance. I immediately thought back to right before James lunged at me. He had taken this same posture. My body trembled even worse as memories flooded my already clouded mind. I grasped onto Quil's flexed arm and noticed it was shaking to, but not for the same reason. I tried to pull him back, away from the menacing vampire that was pacing on the other side of the beach. He wouldn't move. His eyes traced Edward's figure as he moved back and forth.

Tears of pure horror started to burn my eyes, as I realized what exactly was going on. My ex- vampire boyfriend whom a little over a week ago I had been madly in love with, just caught my new werewolf uh, more than friends but not boyfriend I don't think, and I on a very romantic date.

Scenes of gore and fighting flashed in my mind as I tried to think of a way out. Nothing. I could think of absolutely nothing. My thoughts scrambled trying to come up with anything to prevent what was about to happen. "Bella," Quil's soft voice shook me from my thoughts. "I want you to run back to the Jeep get in and drive back to the house." _He wanted me to just leave?!_

I was not leaving hi here alone, "Quil I-" He cut me off.

"Bella I can't let you get hurt. Please leave, for me?" His voice pleaded with me while his eyes never left the lived vampire 20 feet from us.

My heart clenched_. How could I leave him? What if he got hurt and I wasn't here to do anything!? What if Edward kil- I couldn't think like that. Quil wanted me to go, but I couldn't leave him alone._ "Bella please," this time Quil's voice was pleading urgent almost. When I looked up I saw why. Edward was slowly stepping towards Quil barring his teeth.

"Edward no!" I yelled running in front of Quil. Immediately after, my breath caught in my throat. I was now in between two beings that in one swipe could kill me. Nice going Bella. But I had to do something. "Edward please, please," I begged him. His eyes seemed to lighten in color a little as he watched me. His feet stopped moving forward as we stared into each others eyes. "please," I whispered softly knowing he would hear it.

I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, when I opened my eyes, Edward's angelic face was directly in front of mine, his now golden eyes made my pulse race. I faintly heard a low growl from Quil behind me but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the Greek god in front of myself practically luring me into his cold delicious lips. "Bella, I have missed you so much," his sweet breath swirled into my face, I could feel my body weakening, my knees wanted to collapse so my limp body would fall into his arms, that cradled me and protected me so many times.

Clips of memories and emotion clutched my attention, tearing my focus from where I was, into past love that I have shared with the very being in front of me. I saw myself laughing, smiling, kissing, pouting, things that I had experienced with my Edward. Then I saw tears, pain, heart break, emotion that had ripped a hole through my body, things caused by Edward. Lastly, I saw Quil, holding me to his chest as we watched the sun paint the early morning sky.

I stepped back quickly, _how could I have forgotten even or a moment?! I can't leave Quil, I couldn't, I would never. _I turned back to see Quil staring sadly at me, almost as if he was saying, you can go if you want. Tears began pouring down my face, thinking of losing Quil. So I did the only thing I could think of to show him I wouldn't leave.

I tried to run to him, but ended up tripping on a branch that was hidden in the sand, cold hard arms circled my waist, but without even looking at the gorgeous being that had picked me up I struggled out of his arms and ran to Quil jumping into his arms and kissed him full on the lips.

For a moment the Quil's warm lips hesitated, almost stunned. Then after the initial shock wore off, he reciprocated fully, enveloping me in pure devotion. Our kiss was cut short by a roar behind us that made the ground almost tremble. I felt rock hard arms grab mine and rip me away from Quil's warm embrace.

Edward turned me roughly in his arms towards him and stared into my eyes his teeth were barred and his eyes were black. I now saw him as the true monster he thought he was. I tried to push off of his chest but he held me securely to him. So instead I called for the boy ho has recently been my knight in shining armor. "Quil!"

As if he was only waiting for me to call his hands grabbed around my stomach and pulled, so the top portion of my torso was being held by Edward's cold arms and the lower portion was being torn away by Quil's fuming grasp. It sort of felt like they were playing tug of war, only I was the rope. "Ow!" I couldn't help it but scream, they were tearing me in two.

"I'm sorry!" Edward quickly responded letting my body go. I slammed into Quil's chest but he didn't seem affected by the sudden impact, he only clutched my now violently shaking body to himself, I could feel him quivering also. I turned into him and rested my head on his chest.

"Bella, go home, now." Quil held the back of my neck in his hand lovingly making me look him straight in the eyes, he spoke with pure concern.

I was about to respond but was interrupted, "Bella, stay with me. Be with me, I love you, and miss you so much." That was Edward. His melodically soothing voice was accompanied his hand on the small of my back.

I turned around slightly so I was now pressed up against Quil's shaking chest but facing Edward. This was an awkward position, I was pressed against the boy I was currently adoring but was less than half a foot away from the boy who happen to be my ex, whom I guess was still in love with me? _Nice going how'd you get yourself into this one? _I thought.

"Edward I don't want to be with you anymore. I love Quil." I was stunned at what I had just said. And from the looks and sounds of it, so were the other two beings that I stood around me. Quil's arm snaked around my waist and pulled me closer. Edward's eyes looked me eye to eye as if he was trying to find some sort of perfect explanation.

"Bella is that tr-… is that true?" Edward's voice shook as he said this. I could almost imagine the tears that strangled his voice, running down his flawless face. I could only nod. Him in pain was one of the worst images for me. Even if I loved someone else, I still loved him, in some way. I almost wanted to reach out and comfort him, but I restrained myself knowing that this may be the only way to be with Quil.

"Leave, Edward, now." Quil's voice rang with authority as he said this. Edward's eyes that had melted into the topaz color I adored turned a fierce black again.

"Not without her," he said with venomous certainty.

"Over my dead body will you take her anywhere." Quil shot back.

"Those requirements could be easily arranged." Edward smiled evilly flashing his white teeth.

Once again I searched my mind for any way to prevent any hurt from occurring. But, there were none. Nothing I could do would keep them both unscathed. I knew Edward was already hurt, but I couldn't change the past, it already happened. But, I could try my damn best to keep one of them or both from dying.

They were both growling when I was released from my thoughts enough to be aware of my surroundings. Quil's arms were wrapped around my waist protectively and he was turning me to the side shielding me from Edward.

I wriggled out of Quil's grasp and stepped in between the only two boys I have ever loved. I put my hands up, one on each side, as if that alone would keep them apart. I looked from ones face to the other staring them straight in their eyes. "Please don't fight. For me. Please," I was on the brink of tears but I held them back wanting to be as stern as I could.

"Bella, I-" Quil started but Edward's voice interrupted him.

"I won't fight if you stay with me Bella. If not, I will fight for you, with every bone in my body." Edward's voice was set.

I turned to him resorting to begging. "Edward. I don't love you anymore." I winced at the obvious pain me saying that caused him. "Can't you just accept that, and leave? Please." He only looked sympathetic, staring at me as if I hadn't spoken any of those words.

"Ah my Bella." Edward spoke reaching up to brush my face with the back of his fingers.

"I am not yours Edward." I stated grabbing his hand and throwing it down.

He smiled, "But you will be Bella. You will always be mine. Whether you like it or not. You'll see." I didn't know what to say, but the livid growl that came from Quil summed up the feelings I was having, other than the slight fear that was sitting in the pit of my stomach.

"Like hell she will be!" Quil shouted. I noticed that his entire body was shaking now, he was clenching and unclenching his fists in an attempt not to change into his second form immediately.

Edward was still smiling. I felt utter disgust with him, "Now, we wouldn't want to change in front of Bella, would we," Another burst of anger shot through Quil's trembling body. He closed his eyes and scrunched his face like he was concentrating harder than ever.

"Bella, you need to go," Even Quil's voice shook I ran my hand over his cheek and he lightly kissed my palm. I didn't want to leave him.

"Qui-" I didn't even get to finish his name.

"Now Bella!" Quil screamed at me. I was shocked for a minute but was able to stagger my way over the where the blanket lay. I grabbed the keys and walked slowly towards the car not letting my eyes leave Quil and Edward.

The car was a good 40 feet away and by the time I got there, I could faintly make out Quil and Edward's mouths that seemed to be shooting insults back and forth.

The next couple of seconds seemed to go slow motion.

I saw Edward turn around and start walking away, then Quil, my knight in shining armor, my new found love, burst out of his nice clothes into a jet black huge wolf like creature. He lunged at Edward who was now turned back around crouching low to the ground. "Nooooo!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, struggling to jump out of the car, fresh tears ran in rivers down my face.

Quil, or the wolf Quil, jumped on top of Edward who in turn picked Quil up and threw him at a near by rock, Quil's back made impact with the sharpest part of the rock's side, a small animal like whimper escaped from Quil's body, I tried to run to him but my foot got caught in between two rocks the second I stepped forward.

As I tried to get up, I kept screaming, mostly pleading with the two boys to stop, but some were just for Quil, making sure he knew that I did love him and not Edward.

Finally I righted myself and started running to Quil, but as I reached the border of the beach, Quil got up again and lunged at Edward. They looked like they were wrestling for their lives, which I guess they were. I couldn't see exactly what was happening in the dark, but I soon saw the sand that was under them as they rolled over each other ripping at each other's throats I couldn't breathe.

The once light tan sand looked black in the moon light. It was wet, clumping together, held together by blood. And a lot of it.

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	15. Who and How?

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**Recap: **I couldn't see exactly what was happening in the dark, but I soon saw the sand that was under them as they rolled over each other ripping at each other's throats I couldn't breathe.

The once light tan sand looked black in the moon light. It was wet, clumping together, held together by blood. And a lot of it.

**Quil's POV**

I could almost hear the sickening snap of a bone as my back collided with the sharp rock. I tried to growl but instead a pathetic pain filled whimper escaped my lips.

I could feel the leech's eyes on me, picturing the smug grimace he would have on his face thinking he had actually hurt me enough to keep me down. _It will take a hell of a lot more than just that to keep me from Bella_, I violently thought to myself.

Somewhere farther away I could hear my angel's cries to me. She was begging me to come to her, to stop fighting, that she loved me. Every time she said that my heart swelled immensely. I had, had to run her words over and over in my head the first time she said it. _I love Quil, I love Quil, what? Who does she love? Holy shit did she just say my name? She did!_ It took everything I had to keep myself from kissing her then, to take her away from where we were and hide her away for only my eyes. To tell her that I had loved her since first laying eyes upon her, that I would never leave her like that- that- blood sucker had, that she was the only girl I would ever love. But instead of what I wanted to do, I only pulled her close to me and tried to protect her from the vile creature threatening my angel.

_Hell no, she is mine, you are never laying eyes upon her after this._ That was the only thought in my mind when he said that she would be his. That was not happening. Not now. Not ever.

New waves of pure hatred for that creature poured over me and taking in our situation I quickly rose from the ground and attacked, thinking only of what I would do to him if he touched my Bella. **My** Bella. _God that sounds amazing. My Bel-_ I remembered suddenly that I was in the middle of a fight for possibly my life.

Again Bella's screamed pierced through the night. "Nooooo!" she screeched high enough that I wanted to cover her own ears. I flinched as I heard sobs follow her outburst. _No Bella, no, don't cry, you shouldn't cry. Bella, angels don't cry. _I wanted so bad to go over and wrap her in my arms and rock her slowly to my chest, keeping the forbidden tears from escaping.

**((Sort of graphic… you don't absolutely have to read this…))**

I tore at his chest, tearing his shirt to shreds and slicing open his marble skin, blood gushed out of the cuts as my claws dug farther into his death deserving body. I lost my focus for a second when Bella called to me, and that was all it took for the bastard to push me off of himself and onto my side punching me with his metal-like fist across the face and in the stomach at the same time, causing me to double over in pain.

I clawed at him but soon I couldn't see through the sticky red substance that was flowing over my eyes, emanating from somewhere on my head. I tried to rub the blood off of my face, but my fur covered paws did not do much. I jumped up and searched for the leech. I soon found the blood sucker and lunged at him again throwing him into a pile of rocks and trees roots that were thrown onto the beach.

He roared and barred his teeth at me. I growled as menacingly as I could back and as fast as I could, bent down and picked up the jagged piece of rock that lay at my feet. With the sharp object in my hand I ran towards him. He ran back towards me in an almost feline like stance and roared again before I felt his venom coated teeth sink into my skin.

I attempted to stab the rock into his chest but missed, blinded by the agony ripping at my flesh. He released his teeth and seemed to spit the taste out of his mouth. His body shook in anger and I took the opportunity to push him off of me.

Pain like none I had ever felt hit me then, I could feel my body shake with the anguish that was engulfing me. I lashed out once more and felt Edward's cold face against my paw. As a last motion I raked my nails into his skin and felt warm liquid run down my now almost human arm.

**((Okay end of the really graphicness))**

Suddenly he yanked away, and from my blurred vision I saw him walking a little ungracefully to a stumbling figure coming towards us. Realization hit me. Bella. _Oh Bella run now, run away, don't see me like this. Please, I love you. _

A moment passed before Bella pushed around Edward and ran to me. I wanted to shield my face from her view, but my limbs wouldn't respond to what I was asking.

I heard Bella's enraged but fear full voice scream out as I changed fully from one form into my original. I felt her hands on my face and swiftly, her lips on mine, I reached up and brushed her cheek with my palm, it was wet. She was crying. I attempted to soothe my angel but instead fell into darkness with her true words the last thing on my mind.

**Bella's POV**

I ran as fast as I could, falling down every couple of steps, towards Quil and Edward. Growling, ripping, breaking, me screaming, all permeated the silence around us. All I could think about was Quil staying safe. Safe enough to be with me forever. That's all I wanted. Him. Now. Unbroken. Edward was making this very hard to accomplish.

I finally was in seeing distance of them but what I saw, I wish I hadn't. Quil lashed his giant black paw at Edward's flawless face and I gasped and fell over as I saw his claws sink into Edward's indestructible skin. I tried to scream at Quil, tell him to stop, but no words would come. Tears again flowed down my face, as I demanded myself to get up off the ground to go try and help.

The sundress I was wearing was now in sandy pieces hanging off of me, from falling on branches and rocks. Long gashes down the sides of the dress made it hard for me to stand. I had long lost my sandals and could feel the sting of sand in cuts on the bottoms of my feet.

All I could think of was _Quil. Quil. Quil. He had to be safe._ I kept my head down as I tried to run as fast as I could to him, but soon hit a very hard body. I looked up into Edward's black eyes and gasped. His perfect face was cut everywhere. Blood streaked down his cheeks, his hair was matted with not only his blood but Quil's. _Quil._ I pushed past Edward and ran to my savior who was now laying on the beach, in his human form.

I couldn't help but release the ear shattering scream as I saw his weakened body on the sand. "Quil!" I ran to him and dropped by his side. I put both of my hands on the sides of his face and used my thumbs to clear some of the blood off of his angelic face. I leaned down and kissed him softly not wanting to hurt anything that wasn't already. Tears cascaded down my cheeks looking over my Quil. His hand cupped the side of my face for a moment and I leaned into it pressing my tear stained cheek to his palm. I turned my head to the side trying to kiss his fingers, but his hand abruptly dropped.

Again I let out scream but this time it was one of anguish filled with disparity and longing. New pools of tears flooded my eyes as I collapsed sobbing onto his chest.

I stayed like that for a couple minutes until the suffering and fear turned to pure unadulterated hatred. For Edward. I jumped up faster than I should have and stumbled a little. Only to be caught by cold arms.

I ripped myself from his grasp and pushed him away, he stepped backwards and stared at me with eyes full of longing. The ocher black had been replaced with a melting butterscotch. _I can't give in. I will not give in. Look what he has done to you, Look what he has done to Quil_. Again the hatred burned at me and I stepped forward slapping his marble like face as hard as I could. Pain shot through my arm but I covered the wince, and instead raised my hand to slap him again. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him. I used my other hand and tried to push away. He didn't let me move.

"Get off of me." I ordered. Keeping my face as unemotional as possible.

"Come now Bella, don't be like that, I just fought for you," I felt sick when he paused. "And won," He smirked at Quil's not moving form on the ground.

"You sick bastard, stay away from me." I spat out. "I hate you." I glared at him and his smug look grew. I wanted to slap it away, and if I didn't know that I would break my hand I would have.

"Oh no you don't Bella, you couldn't hate me. You love me. You belong with me. No. You belong **to** me." I snapped my slightly ajar jaw shut and glared at him with all the fierce hate I had burning inside me.

"I don't think so." My words dripping in coldness and disgust. Edward smirked again but released me stepping backwards.

"You'll see, you will be mine." I tried to snap back at him but he continued. "Good night Isabella." And he turned and ran over the rest of the beach and into the pith black forest.

I could feel myself starting to hyperventilate, and I dropped to my knees. Choked sobs shook my body. More than I wanted to admit, I was scared. Scared for Quil, scared for us, scared of Edward. I crawled over to Quil's side and laid my head on his muscular chest that was striped with drying blood.

Eventually my sobs quieted some, and I as able to hear the reassuring beat of Quil's heart. My arm that crossed his torso and my head that lay on his chest rose and fell with his breathing. I looked up at the sky and for the fist time that night noticed something. There was not one cloud in the sky tonight, the stars and moon shown brightly down onto the sandy beach where I lay with my love, hoping to God, there would be a tomorrow for us.

But lately tomorrows seemed farther and farther away.

_He had to get better. He had to. I couldn't lose him Not like this. No not like this not now. _I told myself as I put my arms around his torso, tears came down my cheeks and dripped onto his stomach where they traveled down his sculpted abs intertwining with the blood they passed.

I heard a stick snap behind me, and turned around but saw nothing. I lay my head back down, and felt the tears start again. I mindlessly drew circles on Quil's stomach, and whispered softly to him. I told him that I loved him and that he had to get better, I said thank you for the date tonight and told him of places I wanted to go with him. Hours had to have passed and I fell asleep using Quil as a warm pillow.

I was woken by a warm hand shaking my shoulder. "Bella?" I opened my eyes slightly; the sudden burst of sunlight hurt my eyes. "Sam, she's over here!" a rough voice shouted. I rolled over and let my eyes get used to the brightness. When I looked up I saw Sam Uley's, Embry's, and Paul's faces all staring down at me with worried expressions.

"Bella are you okay?" Sam asked reaching down to help me up. I sat up dizzily and brushed myself off slightly, blushing deeply as I noticed how much my ripped dress revealed.

I nodded a little, as I tried myself to find out if I was okay. I could feel my legs and my hands were working, I was numb, that was probably a good thing, but I felt empty. _Why did I feel empty? _It hit me suddenly. _Where is Quil?_ I looked at the blood soaked ground next to me but found no Quil. Before I even had the chance to ask the question Sam spoke. "Bella, Quil's okay, he's being taken back to his house as we speak." I was confused. _Why didn't I feel it when he left?_ _Why didn't he wake me? _I looked around and got even more confused than I had been before. The ground I was laying on was not the same as the one I feel asleep on.

"Bella, why didn't you stay with Quil? He is freaking out. It took us forever to find you." My mind whirled and I felt startlingly lightheaded. I took slow deep breaths and tried to speak.

"I-I was- I" I couldn't sort out my thoughts. I looked back down at the sand I was sitting in and something hit me. If Quil hadn't been lying with me, that- that was my blood. I reached a shaking hand to my back and felt the stiff fabric. I wedged my fingers through the slit that was covered in dried blood, and immediately felt nauseous. I could feel new wet blood seeping from the cut and the stinging that my sandy fingers caused. I winced.

I looked back up to Sam with wide eyes and before he could ask what was wrong, I fainted falling over sideways onto my stomach. The last thing that I heard was a startled shriek, "Holy shit! Paul find a doctor! If she keeps bleeding like that she's not gunna live muc-" Then I blacked out.

**Betcha wanna know why Bella is cut and she has been moved??!!!... hehehehe…. Evil cackle…. FEAR ME AND MY CLIFFIES!!!...**

**QUESTION- why do so many people read this and I don't get very many reviews???... that is SO annoying…**

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ****REVIEW REIVEW REVIEW**

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**xoxox**


	16. The note

**Hey everyone!!... so sorry about the chapter that was there but then it wasn't I accidentally posted the same chapter twice!... hehe sorry!... and then I realized that I left out a chapter that had written and posted then fixed but never reposted it!!... SORRY!!... you don't have to go back and read it but if you want to its chapter 3!... Sorry for the confusion!**

**Disclaimer: how about Dutch?! Ik bezit niets… : ) **

**Okay the mystery won't be solved here… it's a filler fluffy chapter!!!... XOXO**

**Please Review!**

**Onto the new chapter!...**

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**Bella's POV**

When I woke up again I was lying in my bed in Quil's house, my back stung and throbbed whenever I moved so I settled for staying very still. I blushed when I noticed I had no shirt on and only a pajama shorts. My hair was braided off to the side of my neck and there was a cold washcloth on my forehead. One of my hands was wrapped so I couldn't move it, and the bottom of my feet had all sorts of bandages on them.

There was a single red rose on the other side of the bed on top of a small folded piece of paper. I tried to reach over but winced when a shot of pain went through my back. I took a deep breath and as quick as I could grabbed the note, suffering the pain of the reach after.

I closed my eyes for a moment rocking my body gently trying to stay calm as my back felt like it was ripping in half. Soon the pain faded some and I was able to open the note. The elegant scrawled across the page in two lines.

_I will be coming for you soon my love. You will be mine for eternity._

_I love you._

A new pain crumbled through me, the agony from my back was nothing compared to this. The note made my heart enclose onto itself and constricted my chest so it was hard to breath. _I can't lose Quil. I can't. I will not lose Quil. Come try and get me Edward, you come near me and you will die. _I wished that he could hear that last sentence, I wished that some how it could be true.

Tears stung the back of my eyes thinking of losing my new love. And almost on cue someone knocked on the door. I tried to talk to tell them to come in but my rapid breathing made it hard.

"Bella? Are you awake? Can I come in?" Quil's soft voice was covered with worry. Hearing his voice made the tears start falling, _I can't lose him_.

I managed a slight, "Mmmhhmm" and the door opened. His face smiled and then a extremely concerned expression crossed his face.

"Bella, honey, why are you crying? What hurts?" He was at my side running his hands an inch above my skin not wanting to make me endure more pain. I shook my head and smiled gently. "Bella? Are you alright?" He got down on his knees so that he was face to face with me. I nodded a little.

"I- I'm f- I'm fine." I murmured trying to ignore the pain that was in my chest and back.

"No, your not. Let me call my mom." He stood up and turned towards the door. I couldn't find the energy to stop him. As he walked I looked over his muscled body. I couldn't see any major reminisces of the fight. He had a few bandages over his arm and he had his right knee wrapped in gauze.

_Oh my poor Quil. What have I done? What have I brought to you? I am so sorry._ I apologized over and over in my mind wanting badly to say it out loud, but couldn't.

"Mom! Something is hurting Bella!" Quil yelled outside my door. As soon as he had finished his sentence he jogged back to my side again resting on his knees. He brushed a few bangs out of my face, and I smiled at him.

"I'm so sorry Bella. I should have protected you more. I am so sorry." I shook my head vigorously wincing at the immediate pain it brought. I closed my eyes for a minute riding out the pain and then started with much effort.

"No Quil,- t's not your faul-," I breathed in sharply feeling every inch of the wound on my back. "Was my fault, I'm sorry." I tried to inhale slowly and closed my eyes willing the stabbing pain to release me.

"Nothing was your fault Bella. I shouldn't have fought him. I should have just picked you up and run home." He got up from the floor and started pacing throwing his arms up, "I just got so mad, when he said that he wanted you. That he was going to have you." He growled before he spoke again. "Whether you liked it or not." A soft murmur of the fading growl vanished and he was back at my side, brushing my cheek with the back of his hand.

He looked into my eyes almost as if he was searching for something but couldn't seem to quite find it. He exhaled and his jaw shook slightly, "Bella, do you wan- do you want to be with him?" He looked into my eyes pleadingly.

I shook my head, and the ever present tears started falling again, "No Quil, I wan-" I had to stop for a minute. I closed my eyes tightly and clutched at my pillow whimpering slightly as my back pained again, Quil tried to get up to help but I gently put my hand on his shoulder and shook my head. "I want to be with you Quil, only you." He smiled bigger than I had ever seen and kissed my cheek gently.

"Bella, I wanted to tell you that night. I love you to. So much, so so so so much." My heart wanted to leap for joy but instead I only smiled at him.

I noticed something. He said **that **night not **last** night. Oh no. "Quil, how long have I been sleeping?" I asked panicked slightly.

"Almost two days." He looked a little confused, a very small piece of what I am feeling.

"Two days?" I whispered trying to grasp that fact.

"Yes, Bella. Sam brought you back here, he said that you passed out."

"I did, I mean I think I did. But-" I couldn't talk anymore I was too tired.

"Shhhh, Bella, it's okay. I'm here now and you're safe, I won't leave you." He sroked my hair and kissed my forehead.

I heard a knock on the door, and turned my head the other way to see Fleur walking in. "Sorry I didn't want to interrupt," She said apologetically.

"No, no it's fine. I think her back is hurting her." Quil said standing up.

"Okay hun," Quil started to walk to the door.

"Quil!" I said a little louder than I should have. I winced from the pain that it caused but reached out to Quil anyways not wanting him to leave me.

"I will be right back love." With that he left the room closing the door behind him.

Fleur was slowly pealing off some kind of bandage off of my back which made me whimper in pain. "I'm sorry honey, I need to clean it though." I nodded and endured the pain that raced around my body.

"Okay this might sting a little." I nodded not thinking that it could be any worse than what I was already going through. I as dead wrong.

As something was drizzled on my back A searing pain burnt through my skin. I screamed lightly, and tried to grab Fleur's hand to make it stop. "Shhhhh, shhhh Bella it's alright this will make it feel better."

"No it hurts!" I screamed through my anguished sobs.

"I know. I know hun. It will be over soon." Just as promised 5 grueling minutes later the burning pain gradually stopped, leaving me shaking and hot, covered in a layer of sweat.

A cooling cloth was placed over three fourths of my back in a diagonal line and I tried to hold breath, to not inhale the sour smell of the cloth.

"Okay, Bella?" I nodded and opened my eyes to look at Fleur who was hovering above me pouring a blue liquid onto a cloth. "I need you to roll onto your side if you can."

I nodded and gently rocked myself, noticed the extreme decrease in pain that my body felt. I lay over on my side but quickly flipped back over when I remembered I didn't have a shirt on. I blushed darker than I thought was possible.

Fleur laughed motherly, "It's okay Bella. Here you can put this over yourself if you would like." She handed me a blueish towel and I draped it over my chest as I rolled over again. She started dabbing at my stomach and I looked to see what she was doing. I really wish I hadn't.

There were cuts all over my stomach cutting across my pale skin in long red lines. I groaned as I put my head onto my pillow breathing in the scent of my strawberry shampoo that covered my pillow instead of the rusty metallic smell that I was sure to have noticed.

Soon Fleur was finished and she said I could lay back down. I did and a wave of exhaustion flew over me. I closed my eyes and listened as Fleur left the room out in the hall I heard a whispered conversation.

"Is she okay?" Quil's voice hid no concern.

"Yes she will be, she's just really tired."

"Why was she screaming?" He sounded a little panicked.

"The antiseptic that I use stings a little." I rolled my eyes behind my eyelids and considered that the understatement of the year.

"Okay," Quil seemed more relaxed and I heard him take a step towards the room.

"Quil?" Fleur's voice was soothing and motherly.

"Yeah?"

"Take care of her. She's amazing." Fleur whispered to him before I heard squeaky footsteps descend down the staircase. _Amazing? Ha, that's a lie._ I thought to myself.

I didn't hear Quil's response, but soon felt a warm hand on my face. I tried to open my eyes but couldn't. I felt like a cloud of drowsiness was hovering above me.

"Bella, I love you so much," His sweet voice murmured and I felt his lips on my forehead. "Please get better soon," now he sounded desperate, like he was worried I wasn't going to. _Was I going to?_ I didn't know. I had slept for two days that can't be a good sign.

I wanted to tell him that I loved him to, but weariness held my lips closed. I relaxed my body and fell almost immediately asleep.

My hands fisted a little as a slight pain hit my back and I realized I had something in my hand. Paper. The note. I tried to hide it in the confines of my small hand but instead soon felt Quil's warm fingers prying my hand loose.

A moment passed with only the crinkling of paper and then nothing, most likely as he read. I fell completely asleep the last thing I heard, was a loud angry roar more than likely coming from Quil.

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**So it was sort of a filler chapter… but it was okay right?... I hope so!...**

**?????Anyone have any ideas of who might have hurt Bella????? **

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**Thank you to thoe who do so!!!... I love you all!!!...**

**Brownies for everyone who reviews!!!!!**

**XOXOXO**


	17. Blood Red Petals

**HELOO!!!... okay dokay… wow I have had quite the week I planned for this chapter to be out by Tuesday night… **

**Sooooo… you guys brought up some pretty dang good questions when you were reviewing which I will have to find a way around… **

**Disclaimer: Portugese Eu não possuo nada… haha**

**READ AND REVIEW!!!... **

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**Recap!**

A moment passed with only the crinkling of paper and then nothing, most likely as he read. I fell completely asleep the last thing I heard, was a loud angry roar more than likely coming from Quil.

**Bella's POV**

I sat up quickly breathing shakily, wincing at the slight pain it still brought. The room around me was bright with the suns morning light, making my eyes blink to adjust. I pushed my sleep tangled bangs out of my face and tucked them behind my ears; they were slightly wet with tears, result of my latest dream.

The exact same nightmare that has played in my mind over and over the past week. Always the same place, the same people, the same actions, the same outcome; but every time it seems to rip through my body the same, never dulling with familiarity.

Of course, starring role… Edward.

The dream starts in my old bedroom in Charlie's house. I am lying in bed when Edward comes flying in through the window as he has done so many times before to stay the night with me and watch me sleep. He discreetly comes to my bed side and picks me up; I try to scream, to scream to Quil to help me, save me. But my voice can't escape my throat.

With me seemingly paralyzed in his arms he walks to the window and before he leaps out, the door to my bedroom crashes open revealing Quil as handsome as ever. Edward laughs loudly and turns to jump out of the opened window. My head hits Edwards shoulder and the last of Quil that I see is his face twisted into defeat and hurt. My body cannot move but I try and plead with Quil to help me, I try and tell him that I love him.

When Edward's feet touch the ground he starts running. My eyes can't close and the same sickening nausea that made me ill the first time I ran with him washes over me, causing my head to spin and the world around me to rock. Finally after what seems an eternity we stop abruptly, making me shy away from Edward's strong chest. When I look up to beg Edward to let me go, his face is turned down to mine. His perfect angular features looking godlike as usual as I stare; wishing that his perfect cold lips didn't call mine.

Every night I try and prevent myself from seeing what meets my eyes next. A nonexistent wind blows over our bodies pushing his hair to one side, exposing crimson red irises, locked powerfully with mine. Edward's head then snaps up to something in front of us.

A threatening growl shakes the earth around us and makes my whole body tremble in fear of what might have made that sound. I frantically search Edward's face scrutinizing his expression trying to find any signal to what might be close to us. Instead of the terror that racked through my body, his face showed a comical smirk, as if someone had attempted a joke. Another growl breaks through the night and Edward drops my body onto the ground.

I look up from where I lay on the damp earth and notice that we are in the meadow. _Our_ meadow. Straight across the magical place that once held love like no other was Quil. His eyes pierced through mine asking something of me, but his gorgeous face was covered in jet black fur and resembled a wolf like creature. A moment passed where no noise is made until I see Edward step over my unmovable body. Quil growls again as does Edward and in less than a second the entire scene from the beach replays, except this time abruptly in front of me and in a meadow filled with sleeping wild flowers and a trickling stream. Leaving me nothing to do but silently watch and allow rivers of tears to pour down my face.

When the fighting finally ends Edward's stone body jumps from the ground and runs into the forest. Quil's bleeding form lays still on the red sodden grass, and before me my Quil turns back into his weak human form. I struggle to move and run to his side and soon my legs respond again permitting me to crawl to him only to be confronted with death.

The reality shakes my sleeping mind and I wake to a dark room, filled with unanswered questions.

The dark circles created by my nightmare contrasts with my pale skin, and makes me look more like the creatures I have come to know than I should have still in my mortal form. The injuries that covered my body were starting to heal leaving light red scratches or scars. My back was still wrapped but now stretchy bandage wound around m y torso allowing me to move easier and wear a shirt. I had insisted that Quil leave the room, when I realized that I didn't have one on the second day, blushing deep red remembering that I had spent a good three hours with him without a top on. But he had insisted he hadn't even noticed,_**((Sure okay…))**_ so I allowed him back in.

I laid my head back on my pillow and turned to look out the drape covered window. A smile broke across my face when I noticed Quil sleeping on the floor next to my bed on his temporary cot, stretched out so one arm was under the bed frame and the other was above his head. His legs reached beyond where my mattress ended and I laughed thinking of this same boy fitting somehow on his denim covered bed.

I was allowed to get out of bed only when Quil was right next to me making sure I didn't trip, or if I did, I didn't fall. Other than that I was pretty much stuck in bed all day, accompanied by the boy who I would willingly spend all day any day with.

The only time Quil left my side was when Sam needed him for something, either of us took a shower, or when I got dressed, which he didn't seem to think he needed to be out of the room for. Other than that he doted to my every need and some needs I didn't even know I needed. He's amazing and every minute I spend with him I notice that even more.

"Bella?" Quil's sleepy voice asked waking me from my pondering.

"Yes, Quil?" I asked smiling leaning over the side of the bed to look at him in the eyes.

"Good morning beautiful." He said very lovingly reaching up to brush my cheek. I only smiled in response and rolled to the other side of the bed to get up and stretch. The moment I stepped onto the worn hard wood floor Quil was up and walking around the bed towards me.

I laughed and shook my head. "Quil, I'm just brushing my teeth." I rolled my eyes as he kept on walking towards me.

"You could hurt yourself on the way there," I rolled my eyes and smirked as I pointed to the bathroom door across the room from me. He smiled mischievously, "Or at least _you _could," I stuck my tongue out at him and he laughed wrapping me in his arms. When he let me go I walked the whole 12 feet to the bathroom and brushed my teeth without one incident. When I stepped back out of the bathroom door I bowed, signaling my achievement of not once tripping. Quil laughed his warm hearty laugh and clapped.

We laughed lightly as we sat down on the corner of the bed and stared at each other for awhile trying to grasp the concept of love. I was about to lean in for a kiss when my stomach growled. _Very nice. Way to ruin the moment. _ I cursed myself. Quil chuckled and got off the bed offering me his hand. "Let's go eat, I smell pancakes." I smiled and realized that I was indeed very hungry.

We sat down at the small kitchen table in the kitchen and were happily chatting and eating deliciously sweet pancakes when Embry burst through the back door.

"Quil!" Embry yelled as the door flew open.

"Uh yeah?" Quil answered standing up.

Embry's expression got a little less scattered when he saw Quil but soon turned back to the anxious and worried jumpiness it was before. "Sam needs you, the leach has been in La Push," He glanced slightly at me before turning his attention to Quil again. Immediately when vampire was mentioned Quil's body turned rigid and he too glanced at me. "Recently."

"Alright I'll be right there." Quil said now urgent. Embry turned on his heel and ran back out of the door letting it slam. Quil sat down and took my small hands into his and looked at me searching my eyes. His hazel eyes enveloping me into a world where only he and I existed. "Bella?"

"Hmm?" I replied careful not to break the emotion flowing between us.

"I might be gone for a while, promise me to stay in the house?" I smiled at his concern and nodded my head in consent. "Promise." He demanded.

"I promise," I whispered leaning over to him so that our foreheads touched.

"I love you." He said kissing the tip of my nose.

"I love you to Quil." I murmured right before his warm lips closed over mine.

"I've got to go." He said standing up and pulling me with him. He hugged me tightly and buried his face in my hair. "Be safe."

"You to," I said staring him straight in the eye to make sure he knew I was serious. He leaned in and kissed me gently pulling me into his deliciously warm arms for a moment. Then holding my hand until he couldn't any more, he walked out of the same door Embry had come through.

I ran up the stairs tripping twice on the stairs and slammed my bedroom door. I leaned against the cold wood for a moment taking a deep breath before opening my eyes and walking over to my bed. A folded piece of paper with a single red rose on top sat on my pillow mocking me for being correct in my suspicions.

I could feel tears of anger and helplessness reach my eyes but shook them away as I unfolded the new note.

_TAKE, O take those lips away _

_That so sweetly were forsworn, _

_And those eyes, the break of day, _

_Lights that do mislead the morn: _

_But my kisses bring again, _

_Bring again— _

_Seals of love, but seal'd in vain, _

_Seal'd in vain!_

_A poem by William Shakespeare my love…._

_Don't worry I will be there to recite it for you as soon as I can_

_My heart,_

_Edward_

I read it over twice and walked to my dresser and dug underneath my shirts for the other two notes. I had to tape the first note back together after Quil ripped it, and the second note was wrinkled from reading. I unfolded the creased paper and read it over

_If my life is doomed by night fall_

_Soon you will again be my day break_

_We will bask together in the twilight sun_

_And lay together under stars_

_You will be my eternity my forever my everything_

_My love_

_You will be mine I promise… I love you_

_Edward_

I crumpled the piece of paper in my fist and fought back the tears that loomed behind my eyes begging to be released. Nothing made sense, I only kept the notes to try and piece together when Edward would come if he was going to. But only soon, that was the only hint I got. I wanted to tell Quil but I couldn't I had already hurt him, him and Edward wouldn't have fought if it weren't for me and I'd be damned if I let that happen again.

I placed the notes on top of my clothing making a mental note to put them away and slowly walked back towards the bed picking up the single rose and gently running my fingers over the silky petals. One by one I picked the petals off dropping them into a pile on my pillow until only the stem and middle was left. I placed the stem into the wastebasket and scooped the blood red petals into my hands.

Cradling the petals to my chest I opened the window and breathed in the clean air, the slight salty fragrance tainting the cool wind. I again cupped the dismembered flower in both hands and extended them out of the window smiling as the wind carefully lifted petals making them fly out of my hands.

I smiled and relaxed some watching the red contrast with the light gray sky. I inhaled once again and closed my eyes imagining the sunrise I spent with Quil.

As if on cue arms came around me and lightly held my outstretched hands. I leaned back and instead of the warm body I was becoming very used to, my back met a marble like chest. My breath caught in my throat and I was readying myself to scream but panic strangled my throat. Cold hands grabbed my shoulders and spun me around so I was facing him.

Sweet breath blew into my face as he murmured words I did not want to hear. "I'm here for you my love, now we can be together just like I promised." A hand flew over my mouth and I was swiftly lifted into his hard arms.

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**That was an extremely hard chapter to write I'm sorry if it disappointed any of you…**

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**Also if anyone wants to help me with this next chapter I would gladly accept your help!!...**

**QUESTION??:**

**Who should Bella end up with??... of course it will be my final choice but I want to know what you guys think!... **

**XOXOX**


	18. Changing Color

**Heloo… So I got sort of mixed feelings about whom Bella should end up with but I am 80 percent sure on who it is going to be… I think**

**I may not be able to update for about a week and a half or more… sooooo… if you want one more chapter out by tomorrow night you better have some pretty good bribes… haha.. **

**On we go…**

**Disclaimer: Я не имею ничто не характеры не книги ничто, насколько грустный - это?... wow that's german it says… I do not own anything, not the characters, not the books, nothing how sad is that?... wow that's pretty intense…**

**Anyways here is your dose of 'Not even a tear' for today… enjoy and REVIEW please…!!**

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**Recap- **Sweet breath blew into my face as he murmured words I did not want to hear. "I'm here for you my love, now we can be together just like I promised." A hand flew over my mouth and I was swiftly lifted into his hard arms.

**Bella's POV**

A dropping sensation tickled inside my stomach as I felt Edward's hard body jump out of the window. I struggled against his stone arms and chest trying with all my might to call for Quil or to get out of his constricting arms. A hand stayed firmly over my mouth and arms roughly cradled my body to the cold form of a man who was taking me from my love.

I relaxed for a minute and Edward's arms relaxed with my body, I took the moment's chance and screamed as loud as I could for my hero and the boy who held my heart. "Quil! H-" before I could utter another syllable the marble hand clamped over my mouth tightly making me flinch from the sudden impact on the sides of my jaw. I had a feeling that would bruise.

"You would be helping yourself if you kept quiet for now Isabella." Edward's melodical and icy voice whispered into my ear. I opened my eyes that I hadn't even realized I'd squinted shut for a moment and looked to the side of me.

Trees and bushes blurred past at a dizzying pace in front of me creating a wall of green. From somewhere above us sunshine tried to break through the layer of clouds making the sunshine fade to a gray. Lone birds were calling in the tree tops but no other sounds were heard. Even Edward's footsteps as he ran at an inhuman speed made no sound.

An almost tangible warning loomed in the forest as we ran, an ominous feeling over took my mind and I shied away from it into Edward's chest. He chuckled slightly as I did so, "I knew you would come around my love," I had a strong urge to gag but held myself back from doing so.

"I don't love you Edward. I am **not** **your** love." I mumbled forcefully against his hand. I arched my back so that I wasn't as close to him and lowered my head down so that if I opened my eyes I would be staring at the leave and vine covered ground.

He chuckled again this time quieter and almost ringing with a I-know-something-you-don't mockery. "Oh you will be, trust me." He whispered almost to quiet for me to hear.

We ran for a minute more before Edward came to a dead stop sending me flying forward and then ricocheting off of his hard arms back into chest. The impact of my back on his marble like body knocked the wind out of me. I gasped for a moment desperate for the air to return to my body.

Edward rolled me over in his arms the second the first gasp escaped my mouth, begging for oxygen to return to my lungs. I looked into his eyes and was more than surprised to see concern and worry sketched plainly on his face. His eyes searched mine as a realization hit me. _He still cares. He really does still love me. _I almost smiled at him in between my struggle for breath but then remembered that this was the same vampire that had killed Jacob. He killed Jacob and is now trying to destroy what I have made with Quil. He **kidnapped** me away from my love. I glared at him instead of the smile that had previously tried to show almost shaking with the absolute fury I felt.

I inhaled sharply a last time and finally felt normal breathing patterns returning. "Are you alright?" Edward asked concern still lacing through his voice.

"No, Edward, NO! I am not okay! Jacob is dead because of you! You just stole me away from Quil! And now you are telling me that I am going to be yours?" I paused regaining some of my composure. "You know Edward? Do you know what would make me alright?" He seemed at loss for words so I continued and answered my own question. "If you brought me back to Quil, left me alone for the rest of my life, and with that take your ridiculous notion that I will EVER love you again with you." I spat out. "Go to hell Edward!" I screamed at him trying to get out of his arms. He held me tightly. "Put me down!" I screamed, now livid with anger.

I glared at him biting my tongue so I didn't say any more than I had. He kept his eyes straight ahead and made no move to let me down or to answer what I had said. I took the opportunity to look over my shoulder and find out where we were.

A dirt road stretched out in front of me in the middle of two hills covered by trees. I could feel panic rising in my body making my breaths come in short gasps, I could hear my heart in my chest beating twice as fast as usually does. I started shaking and wanted badly to be back in Quil's arms. Edward tried to pull me to him but was rejected by a very angry, "Don't! I don't want to be near you!" and he didn't try again.

After standing for more than 5 minutes I could feel the blood loss in my legs from being held. "Put me down." I exhaled slowly. "Please." I added breathily looking out over the hill closest to us. Edward seemed to think for a moment before gently setting me on my feet. I stretched my legs but the second I tried to take a step forward Edward's rock hard grip was around my upper arm.

"You're staying right here. Don't even try running; it will only make it that much worse for you." Edward's voice was set and unemotional as he warned me. I ripped my arm from his hand and crossed them across my chest noticing how cold it was. _If Quil were here he could warm you._ I thought to myself. A shot of helplessness and want burst through my body making me crumple to the ground.

The hole that had presented itself when Jacob died opened. Raw and burning through my torso, I clutched my stomach in an attempt to hold myself together. I felt Edward's feet shuffle on the ground next to me ad felt a cold hand on my shoulder, I slapped it away and cringed away from where he now sat on the ground. "Bel-" Edward started.

"Don't talk to me." I half sobbed and returned to my ball on the ground. I stayed sobbing on the ground for probably another 5 minutes before I heard car tires coming towards us on the gravel and dirt road. I wiped my eyes and sat up, noticing I was still in my pajama pants and camisole top. I wrapped my arms around myself and stood.

Edward walked back over to my side and put him hand on my lower back pushing me forward towards the car. I flinched away from his hand making sure he knew I didn't want his hands on me, and kept walking to the car, and away from Quil.

Edward walked in front of me towards the car and faster than I could realize what I was doing I turned around and started running away from the silver SUV. I ran for maybe 10 seconds before icy hands wrapped around my waist and pulled me back with little effort. "I told you not to go anywhere." A venom coated voice spat at me.

I started screaming for Quil as loud as I possibly could. Edward had to keep his stone arms around my waist lifting me from the ground so I wouldn't fight out of his arms so no hands could cover my mouth. I yelled and screamed and kicked until Edward threw me into the backseat.

Tears streamed down my face and the last thing that I screamed was a plea to Quil to come get me before the door slammed. I lay face down on the seat, taking shaky breaths. "Please," I whispered.

"I thought you said she was coming willingly." A concerned and possibly scared female voice said from the driver's seat as Edward climbed in the other side of the back seat. I couldn't quite place the voice so I knew it was none of the Cullens but for some reason I knew I had heard it before.

Edward sighed. "She will give in soon." No one moved for a moment the only sound was my sobbing. "Go!" Edward barked in a powerful voice that made me cower away from him into the farthest seat away from him.

I pulled my feet into my chest and leaned against the window crying silently wishing that there was someway Quil could come save me.

I closed my eyes gently and let the tears fall down my cheeks as they pleased. My arms were still wrapped around my torso holding me in one piece. I glanced up for a minute and saw wavy honey colored hair flowing around the face of the girl in front of me. I tried to remember where I knew her voice but I just couldn't think of it.

I looked out the window and thought of the chance that I could get away if I jumped out of the car door. _Not very good, _I decided. I saw that we were still on a deserted road but at least now it was paved. The leaves were becoming more colors as we drove, not just the plain green of Forks and La Push. Red, yellow, and orange colored the trees and ground and made the feeling of loss that much worse.

We were driving away from La Push, away from Quil, away from home. New tears flowed down my flushed cheeks, and I thought over the past couple of weeks. How much I had cried. _It was all because he killed Jacob_. I thought hatefully. _But I would never have met Quil, if he hadn't,_ I told myself and an urge to thank Edward ate at me but I didn't. _He didn't deserve a thank you. He may have given me Quil. But he also just took him away. _

I told myself I would find away back to Quil and with that reassurance I stared blindly out of the window watching the trees turn colors and watching the sun set to my left.

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**I gave you two hints on where they are headed!!!... if you think you figured it out tell me!!... and I will tell you if you are right or not… **

**Who do you think the girl in the front seat is??... hehehe… betcha don't know!!!... **

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	19. Do you love him like you loved me?

**Hello!... So I am glad that people are enjoying my story as much as I enjoy writing it and I want to thank everyone for their reviews!!... **

**Marble Meadow AmyGirl23 Kapperz1212 BellaJacoblove mark my words Manny Marie****BlissfulyShadowingEdwardCullen****lizziemcclure** **thankyou all!!!**

**Oh and Congrats ****BELLAJACOBLOVE ****for figuring out where they were going!!! You won!!! I know that means a lot to you!...**

**Disclaimer-****我不****拥有唯一的任何东西一份困难的背部复件****… ****hehe Chinese!!**

**So here is the last chapter I am going to post for a while I hope you enjoy it!!**

**!R+R!**

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**Recap-** I told myself I would find away back to Quil and with that reassurance I stared blindly out of the window watching the trees turn colors and watching the sun set to my left.

The car ride was excruciating, sitting still, wishing Quil would come save me. Liquid misery ran down my cheeks as tried to find a way to get back to La Push and thought of none. Edward would reach his icy hand over to try and comfort me and I flinched away sending him a death glare.

We stayed mostly on deserted roads and only passed through very small towns. Snow began to appear on the road and the car slowed some making me groan quietly thinking of being in the car longer. Edward and the girl in front talked too low and fast for me to hear as we began to finally pass through towns that may have actually had a population over 1000. It sounded as though they were having an argument about something, and Edward was winning.

Curiosity flowed through me as I tried to retrieve the memory of the girl's voice, and where I had heard it. I stared at her honey colored waves and tried to recall where I had seen that shade of blonde before. She tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and the pale olive skin on her small hand intrigued me. I thought back to when I had seen it before and my heart skipped a beat when I remembered. That pale olive tone of skin was scattered throughout Volterra. I thought back to the color of Felix and Jane's skin.

_A vampire from Volterra? He wouldn't bring one here, would he? No, no, there are other places that color of skin could be from that's just the only place I have seen it. But then how have I heard her voice before? _Thoughts clouded my mind as I tried to comfort myself by coming up with a logical explanation. None came. I searched every corner of my mind and I finally found the memory of her voice. It was concerned but professional and disconnected, we were sitting in what looked to be a waiting room on a ruby red couch. I was sitting on Edward's lap crying cursing myself for the tears because I couldn't see his face. We had just seen the innocent people being led to their death the picture of the small woman with the rosemary flashed in my mind making my heart clench at the thought. "Gianna," I whispered very quietly under my breath. I squeezed my eyes shut and fought back the fear that rose in me.

"Yes," her voice rang from the front seat. I took a deep breath hoping Edward had a good reason for bringing someone from Volterra.

"Nothing." I whispered again leaning my forehead against the cold window.

"Have you two met?" Edward asked from beside me curious to how I knew her name.

I clenched my jaw biting back to threats I wanted badly to make. "In Volterra, in the waiting room, she was still-" I paused stumbling over the words. "She was still human."

I stared outside not looking at anything but merely trying to distract myself from the desolation of the car ride. "I remember that to." Edward's voice spoke almost sadly as if he recalled something about the memory that depressing.

"I'm sorry, Bella? Is it?" Her soft voice asked. I only murmured a mmhmm, from my ball on the seat. "I don't remember that." I shrugged and didn't answer not caring anymore.

The town passed quickly and soon we were back on a snowy road only accompanied my a few headlights as we drove. I yawned and realized that I had been up all night, my body begged for sleep but my mind told me that I couldn't sleep when I was being brought to an unfamiliar place in the middle of nowhere.

"Sleep now Bella," Edward said gently from his seat. He was looking at me with loving eyes.

"Since when do you have good intentions when it comes to me?" I snapped back.

"Bella, I love you. You know I love you, please, be with me. Stay with me, that's all I ask." His hand slowly made its way across the seat to my side where he gently placed his cold hand on my bare arm that was still wrapped around my stomach. For the first time since he took me I felt genuine sadness for him. I took a deep breath trying to calm the screams that wanted to escape my mouth.

"If you really loved me Edward you would let me stay with Quil. I don't love you like I did, I don't think I will ever again." I paused searching his face for some kind of understanding he only seemed to have possibility in his eyes. A little more anger seeped through my words as I continued. "Do you not get it Edward? You **killed** Jacob! You killed my best friend!" My words seemed to pain him and I took pleasure in that. Anger seethed in my stomach as I stared angrily at him. All sympathy that I had had for the man in front of me had evaporated leaving only the pure rage.

"Bella, don't you think I did it for a reason?" He waited for me to answer but I didn't. I waited for him to try and convince me. "Bella," He breathed running his hand over his face, "He was trying to take you from me." I rolled my eyes and looked back to the foggy window. I used my finger tips to make a circle through the cold layer so that I could see outside.

We drove by a sign that read, Welcome to Prince George, Canada. I almost lost it right then. _I am all the way in Canada? Quil is never going to find me, I might as well let Edward kill me, or just die of depression. _I smirked to myself. For some reason I couldn't find that depression, it was like I was numb. No tears came even as I thought of Quil and the possibility that I would never see him again. The hole in my torso was sealing itself without any help. Only anger remained and it was all flowing in my veins tainting my blood with its poison.

"Please Bella, try and believe me. He was going to kidnap you. He tried one night when I was out hunting. He tried to _kidnap_ you Bella!" The hate the poured through my body simmered in my words.

"Sort of like what you're doing Edward?" I hissed.

"Bella, I love you, I am taking you with me so you won't get hurt. So that, that," He shook a little as he thought of the right word, "_dog_,won-"

"Don't you _ever_ talk about Quil like that! Ever! You are the monster Edward! Not Quil, he loved me!" Edward flinched away from my words, but seemed to accept what I had said.

"Bella, I love you. _I_ love you! Can't you see that? He could never love you like I do!" he looked like he would cry if he could. He was pouring everything into trying to make me understand and believe what he was saying. But I wouldn't, I didn't belong to him anymore.

I turned back to the window looking away from the vampire who I once loved. Snow started falling in light flakes from the dark gray clouds that covered the rising sun. The delicate white pieces fell on the window and immediately melted from the heat that ran through the car for my benefit. I watched as droplets began to flow down the window fighting off sleep that threatened to over take me. "Bella. Does he love you like I do? Can you really tell me that when he kisses you, you lose your breath from the ardor, like when we kissed? Can you tell me that you want him next to you every night when you sleep, where I was every night I could? Bella, does your heart race when he cradles you to his chest or when he holds you? Do you sit with him to just be with in his presence? To just stare into his eyes and know that the love you have for him is returned in every way?" he paused deciding if he wanted to continue. "Bella? Do you truly love him the way you used to love me?" he spoke quickly over the last sentence, he was preparing himself for the response.

I didn't want to answer. I didn't want to admit that he was right. Our kisses weren't as intimate, it didn't feel right having him sleep next to me, and my heart didn't race when his warm hands caressed my face, I didn't love him like I had loved Edward. I couldn't love anyone like I had loved Edward.

My heart sunk as I thought these things to myself. Tears should have been streaming down my face but none fell. I shrunk back towards the window and once again watched the snow fall and disappear. Edward sighed and I saw him slump his shoulders forward and pinch the bridge of his nose. Appropriate erratic emotion flitted through my mind telling me what I should be feeling, but wasn't. I closed my eyes wanting the escape of slumber to over take my thoughts.

"How much longer Gianna?" Edward exhaled.

"Maybe another hour until we reach Fort St. John. After that probably 15 minutes or so." She said with no feeling present.

I willed sleep to cradle my body, to take me from this living hell I was enduring. I carefully let my legs swing around me so that they were resting on the seat beside me. I tucked them close to me so that I wasn't any closer to Edward than I had to be. I rested my arm on the frosty window and laid my head in the crook of my elbow. The snow chilled the window and made my arm cold. I tried to find a spot to rest it away from the window but only ended up placing it back where it started so it wouldn't slip and I didn't have to bend my neck in a weird way.

Out of my peripheral vision I saw Edward lean over the seat in front of him for a moment and then a second later a blanket was over my legs and waist and a white shirt that smelled of his delicious scent was underneath my arm in between my skin and the glass. I could have sworn I felt cold lips touch my forehead very briefly before he was right back in his seat staring out at the snowflakes. I didn't have time to push the blankets off of me in an attempt to show him I didn't want his aid before my eyelids closed and reality blurred as I drifted to where I was at the mercy of my dreams.

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**Fort St John and Prince George are real places in Canada just in case you were wondering… The hint in the last chapter was that the sun was setting to her left and it sets in the west so therefore she had to be facing north and whats north of Washington???? CANADA!!!…. Sorry that was a little confusing and not really anyone caught on… no big!**

**I hope you liked it!!! And if you are really really nice maybe I will post one more chapter… maybe…!!!**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!! …please…**

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	20. Emotion

**Okay Dokay!!!... Well since I love you all so much I am posting another chapter!!! Geez!!!... Someone must have put something in my cereal… like bug legs!! ((haha inside joke with BellaJacobLove… never mind))... but seriously the things I do for you people… truly amaze me...**

**Disclaimer- ****私は何でもします****それを言う時、私は泣きます****… ****Japanese!!…. it's a little more uh… loopyish??? Like curvy?? Or squiggly??... maybe not…**

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**Onward! (to narnia)… again ignore that…**

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**Recap- **I could have sworn I felt cold lips touch my forehead very briefly before he was right back in his seat staring out at the snowflakes. I didn't have time to push the blankets off of me in an attempt to show him I didn't want his aid before my eyelids closed and reality blurred as I drifted to where I was at the mercy of my dreams.

**Edward's POV!**

"Bella. Does he love you like I do? Can you really tell me that when he kisses you, you lose your breath from the ardor, like when we kissed? Can you tell me that you want him next to you every night when you sleep, where I was every night I could? Bella, does your heart race when he cradles you to his chest or when he holds you? Do you sit with him to just be with in his presence? To just stare into his eyes and know that the love you have for him is returned in every way?" I asked desperate for her to see the love we had shared. That we could share again if she wanted it, if she would accept it. "Bella? Do you truly love him the way you used to love me?" I spoke a little faster over the last sentence not sure if I really wanted to know her response.

I stared back and forth at her emotion filled eyes. The deep brown of her irises pulled me in, keeping me mesmerized until she turned her head. I thought for a moment she was going to answer. I could almost see the thoughts as she tried to sort through her feelings. I could see realization then pain, sadness then anger, desperation then depression. I wanted so badly to hold her, to cradle her to my hard chest and tell her how much I loved her. The tears that would usually be filling her eyes didn't appear. Not one tear.

I thought back to the time before when she didn't cry when I thought she usually would have been. I was telling her about my mistake. My loss of composure and the results of my actions. She hadn't cried. She just merely looked defeated. Then she had gotten to her feet and left me sitting on that couch that was now in the garbage, in shreds from my fury.

Thoughts of random people fluttered past my mind as a few cars passed ours. I was slightly aggravated by the speed we were going but took a deep breath and relaxed. _Maybe she realized that our love can never be surpassed maybe she realizes that I love her more than anything and she loves me. Maybe that's why she isn't answering me. Wouldn't she just say yes, if she felt that way? Wouldn't she tell me that she loved him as much or possibly more than she loved me, if that was the truth? Maybe s-_ I stopped my thoughts from coming as she leaned farther away from me watching something out of the window.

_She wouldn't lean away from me if she loved me like she used to. _I sighed at this thought and leaned forward pinching the bridge of my nose, as a head ache pounded inside my sinuses. _I didn't even know vampires could get head aches_. I thought to myself as I squinted my eyes.

I heard another car pass us and the aggravation of how long it was taking got to me. "How much longer Gianna?" I asked hoping it was under an hour.

"Maybe another hour until we reach Fort St. John. After that probably 15 minutes or so," she said unemotionally from her position in the front seat. She was upset with me for bringing Bella against her will. Her thoughts almost screamed at me when I got in the car. She knew what it felt like to be rejected by someone you love but she didn't like the idea of forced love.

Bella moved her legs around her so that she was laying at a slant. Her motion stirred her delicious scent into the air and I inhaled deeply basking in the floral and sweet scent as it caressed my senses.

I could see the visible exhaustion she was fighting as she laid her head against her arm that was resting on the clouded widow. For a couple seconds she stayed still until she felt the cold creep into her skin. She tried to adjust for a minute trying to find a comfortable spot without making her arm cold. She eventually gave up and accepted the chill of the window.

Without a second thought I reached forward and grabbed the warm blanket and fresh shirt I had asked Gianna to bring. At my inhuman speed I gently rested the blanket over her pajama clad legs and slipped my shirt underneath her arm so that her skin wasn't directly on the cold glass.

I took a chance and as fast and tender as I could, kissed her forehead hoping she wouldn't reject my affection. I returned to my sitting position and pretended to look out of the window but was truly holding my breath waiting to see if she would throw the blankets back at me and tell me to never touch her again.

To my immense pleasure she did neither and within seconds the peaceful sound of her deep breathing filled my ears. I let out a long exhale and tucked the blanket underneath her legs pulling it over her shoulders. I watched her for a long while reveling in the memories of watching her beautiful face as peaceful as was possible as she slept when I laid by her side every night.

My body ached to hold her in my lap as she slept. I wished with every part of my being that she would let me. I wished she would love me again.

Tearless sobs wracked my body as I watched my perfect angel sleep. The very thought of her loving another could very well kill me. I felt pieces of my dead heart break when she told me she loved Quil. I told her once that if she loved someone else I would let her. I would allow her whatever made her happy.

I now knew that I had been lying to myself. Bella could never be with another. I wouldn't let her. I had **kidnapped** her for god's sake. She was right; I had done exactly what Jacob had tried to do; only I had succeeded. It was so easy so very easy. All I needed was the right timing.

I buried my face in my hands and pulled at my hair. I couldn't stop my incessant weeping thinking of my precious Bella being with someone other than me. The anger that had flooded my body when I had seen Bella and _him_ on the beach left me when I had picked her up in my arms. Depression and fear were the only things left pulsing through me.

"Edward you can hold her now. She is sleeping too deeply to notice." Gianna said breaking me from my thoughts.

"Are you sure?" I asked shakily, she raised an eyebrow at me asking if I was seriously questioning her power. I didn't want to wake Bella and I didn't want her madder at me if she woke.

"I can sense her dreaming Edward," Gianna reminded me. It was her gift. She could merely sense dreams. A seemingly useless gift seeing as vampires can't sleep. That's why she was let out of the Volturi so easily.

I nodded at her, smiling gently when she looked at me through her rear view mirror. I looked down at Bella's angelic face and smiled noticing she was mumbling something incoherent. I scooted a little closer to her and reached my arms out. I noticed my arms were shaking as I tried to find the best way to pick her up.

I slowly rocked her body backwards as my hands slid underneath her torso and knees. She rolled over onto my arms and I cradled her head away from the window onto my shoulder. I lifted her as gently as I could and laid her in my lap carefully. She murmured something again and adjusted so that she was snuggled into my chest.

I leaned over and grabbed the blanket off of the floor and tucked it around her keeping the cold air away. I paused and was very still for a moment as I realized exactly what was happening.

Bella. My sweet Bella. Was here, in my arms. I wanted to jump with pure joy and cry in gratitude. I cradled her to my chest and rocked her back and forth gently. I nuzzled my nose into her hair filling my lungs with her sweet scent.

I held her to my chest reveling in the pure ecstasy that ran threw my body knowing she was snuggled to me. She rubbed her face up and down for a moment on my shirt, before settling again.

"I love you Bella," I whispered into her ear.

A glint of smile flashed on her face and the second I thought I couldn't get any happier she murmured the words that made me want to cry all over again this time from pure bliss. "I love you to," without my vampire hearing I would never have caught it, but with that enhanced sense I heard it clearly.

I hugged her to me and ran my fingers through her silky hair. When I looked back at her peaceful face a single tear ran down her face. I brushed it away and tried to think of some explanation to why she could be crying. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. I tilted my head to the side in confusion.

"Sorry for what Bella?" I prodded, knowing full well that she most likely wouldn't answer. "Bella, why are you sorry?"

Tears ran down her sleeping face as I rocked her back and forth in my arms trying to understand.

"Gianna?" I asked bewildered. "Is she still dreaming?"

Gianna was quiet in the driver's seat for a minute. "Yes," she said confusion written in her voice.

"Bella? Bella? What's wrong?" desperation for her to stop crying plagued my body. My dead heart clenched seeing her cry like this. I kissed her forehead and rested my cheek on her forehead. "I'm sorry Bella. I am the one who needs to apologize. I should never have done that to Jacob whether or not he tried to take you. I am so sorry. I love you so much Bella." I whispered to her hoping that wherever she was she could hear me. "My Bella."

**Bella's POV**

I was holding Quil's hand as we walked on the beach. He was whispering to me, and I nodded and laughed with him like there was not a care in the world. He lifted me gently into his arms and my white sundress flowed out beneath me as he twirled me around in the sand. I threw my head back and laughed. He ran into the water as a wave crashed onto the shore and I screamed playfully. I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled at his beautiful face.

He beamed as I scrunched my nose at him and gave him an Eskimo kiss. The sun was shining brightly and I stretched my face up towards it letting it warm my skin like it used to when I lived in Phoenix.

When I looked back at Quil he was looking away from me staring at something on the other side of the beach. He slowly started stepping backwards and carried me with him. When he finally turned I saw Edward walking towards us in all his glory. He wore white shorts and a white loosely flowing shirt that framed his amazing body.

He smiled at me and I smiled back instinctively. When Quil stopped walking I looked up into his hazel eyes. They were staring down at me tear filled. "Quil what's wrong?" I asked urgently grabbing the sides of his face in my hands and using my thumbs to wipe away his tears.

"Go Bella," he said to me. I shook my head and hugged myself closer to him.

"Go where Quil?" I asked. He nodded at something in front of us. I looked over my shoulder and there was Edward with his arms outstretched smiling his gorgeous smile at me. "No!" I said desperately holding tighter to his chest.

He pried me off of him in one swift motion with tears in his eyes. He set me on my feet and turned me towards Edward gently nudging me forward. "No Quil! No!" I screamed not able to turn around.

"Go Bella! I love you," He said from behind me. Tears ran through his voice.

"No Quil please." My feet started moving without me moving them. I was unintentionally walking towards Edward, away from Quil.

Edward's arms were still outstretched as I walked to him. He was smiling waiting for me to jump into his arms. As soon as I was in arms reach he grabbed my hands, and as soon as he did his love washed over me. His love and my love clouded my mind.

I smiled back up at him and jumped into his arms willingly. He cradled my body and rocked me back and forth. "I love you Bella," he whispered into my ear.

I giggled lightly, "I love you to," as my reply fell out of my mouth I turned around so I was facing Quil again.

Tears were now streaming down his face. Pain slashed through my heart. I felt a single tear drip down my cheek and faster than it reached my chin Edward's gentle finger tips wiped it away.

Quil reached his arms out to me and I reached my arm that wasn't in Edward's grasp towards him. He didn't step forward but he cried my name softly begging me to come with him, to stay with him. I pushed out of Edward's arms and stepped towards Quil.

One of his hands reached toward me, his fingers outstretched, like he wished they were long enough to cross the distance between us.

"I love you Bella," Quil said through his tears. My own tears were now streaming down my face in waves.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. "I love you to," With that Quil took two long strides forward.

"Let her go." Quil snarled, furious. "She _wants_ to!" Edward pushed me behind himself, wheeling to face Quil.

I almost collapsed as I realized what was happening, this was the exact same scene that occurred with Jacob. When I stepped around Edward it _was_ Jacob that I saw. He was reaching out to me tears in his eyes. The forest around Forks surrounded us.

"I love you Bella," was the last thing he said before I opened my eyes almost blinded by the sunlight in the room. Edward was shaking me calling my name.

I clawed at him for taking Jacob away; I fought him for taking Quil away. I hated him. I hated Edward Cullen, but knew I loved him to.

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	21. Not Expected

**HELOO!!!... I am back!... I have thought of a lot I want to do with this story before it ends but I am trying to keep it under 30 chapters… **

**Disclaimer- ibi dibont ibown ibanibythibing…. That's gibberish… haha!..**

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Recap- "I love you Bella," was the last thing he said before I opened my eyes almost blinded by the sunlight in the room. Edward was shaking me calling my name.

I clawed at him for taking Jacob away; I fought him for taking Quil away. I hated him. I hated Edward Cullen, but knew I loved him to.

**BPOV**

I sat on the over fluffed reading chair that I had dragged over to the hazy window. A heavy wool blanket covered my bare legs and arms; I had it wrapped tightly around myself only allowing a small gap where my hands were out, holding a hot cup of hazel tea. I had opened the castle-like stained glass opening and was breathing in the chilled morning air.

Snow covered every inch of the ground three stories below me, creating a sparkling layer of white for miles. Only the occasional pine tree interrupted the cloud on which this castle lay undisturbed and peaceful. A frozen lake reflected sunlight through my window from a few feet away from the castle walls, casting rainbows of color onto the surrounding landscape.

Warm burgundy velvet enveloped every cloth covered surface in my captive room. The walls were a shining gold striped lightly with a deep ruby red. The floor was worn hard wood decorated with a dull gold rug that was possibly the softest fur I had ever laid hands on. The king canopy bed lining the farthest wall was clad with Egyptian silk sheets and layers of the velvet comforter. A book shelf lined with old books of Shakespeare and miscellaneous poems was in the next room surrounded with the maroon chairs like the one I was sitting on. The cherry wood that encased my bed, reading chairs, dresser, doors, and book shelf was adorned with carvings of exotic flowers and gold leaf that matched a tapestry that hung on the reading room's wall.

From what I have been able to see in the rest of the castle, the same theme of elegance and expense was present in every room. The hall in which my room was, consisted of twelve bedrooms, six on each side, and a great room where animal pelt couches, chairs, and rugs covered every surface. The floor below me had all of the basic rooms in a usual house except much larger and grander. The lowest floor was of some mystery it has maid's quarters that were empty as of now, but that was all I knew of, something worth exploring, if I was ever let out of sight.

Fort St. John was the closest town, diminutive in size both physically and population wise. For a normal person it was around twenty minutes away; fifteen with Gianna's driving, seven with Edward's. Since I woke up that first day I have been allowed out of the castle once. That was under intense vampire super vision. They think I will run away, or run back to Quil, and they are smart to think that because if they weren't holding me back I would.

I smirked as I thought this and took another sip of the warm liquid and let it smooth my throat spreading its warmth through my chest. The hazel fragrance wafted through the air around my face mingling with the coldness that blew in from the window. The sun rose from the on the other side of the castle and created amazing shadows on the ground outside of my window.

"You smell utterly delicious, when your scent is mixed with hazelnut." Edward's voice shook me from my daydreams, bringing me back to the harsh reality of what my world was.

I chuckled once clearly not amused as he made his way over to where I sat. His large hand rested on the top of my chair as he leaned against wall to my side. "Beautiful, isn't it?" he asked hopefully referring to the amazing scenery outside.

I murmured a quiet "mmhmm," sarcastically trying to get across that I much rather not be here, and took another sip of the tea.

His musical laugh rang in my ears at my response. "I thought you would like it. That's why I bought this you know? I only picked fabrics and furniture for the other rooms. But, this room," he stepped to my side motioning to the paradise around me, "this room I picked out everything specifically. I wanted it to be perfect for you." I grunted at his statement and turned back to the window.

"Do you not like it?" his voice was almost panicked as if he did indeed pick everything out hoping I would love it and I had just told him I hated it.

My expression softened some as well as my emotions and I felt a tiny bit of guilt for shooting down his attempts at being decent. "I like it. Thank you." I said a very small amount of emotion in the sentences.

I could almost hear the smile that broke out onto his face. "I hoped you would." I saw him kneel down next to my chair as he took the warm mug from my hands gently. I was going to protest and tell him that I was still drinking that but he interrupted. "I want you to be happy here Bella. I love you. I want you to be with me and smile and laugh like you used to. "He took my small hands in his. "Please." His eyes didn't smolder but I could almost feel the preference he pushed on me.

My heart clenched and tears stung the back of my eyes. I wanted so badly to be in his arms his protective arms that cradled me so many times. But memories held me back. Memories of Jacob's smile, his tortured face that day in the forest, his warmth. Memories of Quil. My love for Quil. So many things stopped me from being with Edward. Stopped me from being with who was standing in front of me, asking me, pleading me to come back to him.

I turned my head away so I didn't have to look at his angelic face, his depthless eyes, and his love. He sighed and stood up beside me brushing my cheek with his fingers. "I will wait for you Bella, I love you." I smiled gently and curled my legs farther underneath me leaning into the plush chair. In my mind realizations flitted through breaking my heart slowly. I could never be with Edward again. I could never forgive him for what he did, for everything he has done. He would wait forever.

"Do you want me to close the window Bell? It is getting really cold outside I think it might snow." I glanced up out to he sky, the once blue and sunny sky was clouded over, reminding me of my dismal mood.

"No thanks," I whispered knowing he would hear me, not removing my eyes from the dark clouds.

"Alright." Edward said and I listened as he walked very quietly out of my room.

As soon as I heard the door click a single tear ran down my face sadness clutched at my heart disparity clouded my mind as I tried to think of anything I could do to just return how things were before. I searched for my answers and watched as snow began to flitter down from the sky and settled in another layer on the ground.

**EPOV**

"Do you want me to close the window Bell? It is getting really cold outside I think it might snow." I tried everything I could to make her understand how much she meant to me. How much I still loved her and how much I would always love her. Maybe eventually just doing little things would make her see.

I watched as her brunette waves spread around her shoulders, her small form was curled underneath a wool blanket I had brought from my room to hers last night.

It had been an extremely cold night. Cold enough to where I myself had to wear my warmest sweatpants and turtle neck. I thought about my angel sleeping in her room one floor below me. Imagining her shivering underneath her warm blankets that lay over her bed had made me upset enough that I had had found the warmest blanket in my room and bounded down the grand staircase and down to her room.

I laid the blanket over her as gently as I could and watched for a minute as her chest rose and fell beneath layers of bedspreads. As carefully as I could I climbed in next to her. The covers around her were warm with her body heat and I relished in the amazing feeling of the heat as it seeped into my cold skin.

Bella rolled over and I thought I had woken her until she sighed and mumbled something even with enhanced hearing I couldn't understand. I smiled and gently wrapped my arms around her sleeping form. I would give anything to have her do this willingly, for her to be awake and fall asleep in my arms.

I saw the night sky brightening slightly, signaling the arrival of the sun. I quietly and carefully slid from Bella's side and sighed again wishing she would smile like she used to waking up to being in my arms. I kissed her forehead and tucked the blankets a little tighter around her. I watched her for a minute more studying the blush on her cheeks and every aspect of her angelic face.

I finally left and ran down to the kitchen to heat some hot chocolate for her. I left it on her bedside table yesterday and got to see her actually smile at me when she thanked me for it. I almost swam in bliss at her brief show of happiness.

I was heating the water and smelled something delicious when I opened the fridge that was stocked with groceries Gianna had bought. I searched for the source of the scent and found it in a small box of tea flavor. Hazelnut, it read on the side of the box.

I found myself wondering what Bella's amazing scent would smell like mixed with the new delicious one that resonated inside the ox I held in my hand. Curiosity got the best of me and instead of the chocolate powder I mixed the tea flavor into the steaming water.

Her sweet voice brought me back to reality. "No thanks," I felt slightly disappointed that she wouldn't let me do the small gesture for her, but passed it off.

"Alright," I replied and removed myself from her room unwillingly. When the door had closed I felt a sob choke through my chest. I slid down the wall next to her door and wallowed in the misery that knowing she didn't love me, brought upon my dead heart.

I had tried twice to get her to listen to me about what Jacob had done. He had tried to take her from me. But she wouldn't hear it. Both times she just got angry probably thinking that I was making it up as an excuse. I just wish she would tell me what she is thinking. Every time I tell her I love her, I can almost see the confusion and denial in her eyes. It pains me to not hear her thoughts at those times, it hurts to see her go trough whatever it is she was.

Another sob broke through my chest. I picked myself up slightly and dragged myself towards the stairs.

"Edward?" my angel's voice echoed down the hall. She sounded scared. I took a shaky breath and turned around.

"Yes Bella?" She was now standing outside of her door; the wool blanket was still clutched around her. When she saw my distressed state the blanket fell to the floor and she tried to run over to me. My heart elated knowing that she wanted to comfort me, but my moment was caught short when I saw her trip over the hall rug and I ran over as fast as I could and caught her right before she hit the floor.

"Are you okay?" I asked sitting on the floor and placing her in my lap checking her over. I didn't occur to me that I was actually holding my Bella in my lap until I looked up to her face and discomfort was written all over her face. I picked her up and placed her on the floor next to me. "Sorry,"

"t's okay," she mumbled. It's funny how any sound of her voice made my heart soar. Listening to the melodical sound would please me for days. An awkward silence passed over us for a minute. "Um, I heard someone crying, are you- uh, okay?" she stumbled over her words a little.

I was embarrassed that she had heard me, that wasn't meant to happen, I was at that moment very grateful I couldn't blush. "I'm fine, thank you." I said matter of factly. I kept my eyes on the floor cursing myself for not returning to my room before I broke down.

"Are you sure? Ho come you were crying?" I knew the answer to that one.

"Because I love you with everything I have, you own my heart Bella," I paused for a second studying her face. The expression that meant she was thinking very hard covered her face. Her eyebrows were knit together and her beautiful brown eyes showed untainted uncertainty. "And you don't love me," My unneeded breath hitched in my chest. Knowing it and saying it were two different things, I could feel sobs trying to break through, to take over my body and lead me into another wave of misery.

"Edward, I do lo-," I could feel the ghost of my heart beating uncontrollably I wanted so badly for her to continue that sentence. I could see her editing what she was about to say. The indescribable need to hear her thoughts plagued me again. "Edward, I love you, I do," The next couple words were lost to me because of the loud thump of my dormant heart. My body wanted to jump and skip and scream in amazing happiness. I remembered she was still talking and started listening again. "I can forgive all of that. I do love you though never doubt that."

Faster than I thought I would ever be able to move her lips slammed against mine, the scent that emanated from her made my body want to scream in ecstasy. For a second Bella didn't move, her shock was almost tangible. But after that her body melted against mine returning the kiss which just as much love. _God how I had missed her._

**BPOV**

"But I can't forget what you did; you took me from Quil and killed Jacob. I don't know if I can forgive all of that. I do love you though never doubt that."

I finished my sentence and faster than I could imagine I felt cold hard lips on mine. I could not move for a moment as the shock of what was occurring spiraled through me.

I felt my mind numb from his scent and my body conformed to his every curve. _This is heaven. How could I let this go?_

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	22. Failed

**HELLOO!!!... everyone!.. I hope you are enjoying the story as of the last 21!! chapters… I cannot believe this story is now 21 chapters… that crazy…**

**Disclaimer- Δεν είμαι κύριος τίποτα… anyone know what language this is???!**

**Okay this chapter is to please one of my loyal reviewers… hehe you know who you are… it's going to be sort of short… **

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**QPOV!!!!**

I thought back to when I found out she was gone.

I had run out of the kitchen door after Paul, slightly annoyed that I couldn't finish my breakfast with Bella. I met up with the pack and we discussed briefly where and when Sam and Embry smelled the leech. Embry and I were sent out to patrol the forest while Sam and Paul went in the opposite direction towards the outskirts of town.

The sickeningly sweet scent of a bloodsucker was all over the forest. An hour and a half had passed, Embry and I followed a trail in so many directions eventually we ran head on into each other. As I shook off the collision thoughts from Sam and Paul bombarded my mind, "God damn! Both bloodsuckers got away!" that was Paul even through a thought I could picture his rage, practically pulling foaming at the mouth. Embry and I got up and started to follow a different trail anyways and I listened on and off to the other group's thoughts.

Sam was confused at how many scents wound around on the beach and cliffs and how they all lead off of La Push land after leading a trail weaving around meaninglessly. So far I had only caught the scent of three different parasites, all of them ending at the edge of our land.

Suddenly my head was empty of all thoughts but Embry's and I's meaning for some reason Sam and Paul were purposefully blocking their thoughts. Embry and I stopped abruptly and looked at each other.

The sounds of the forest seemed to echo through my ears as I searched for their thoughts. Finally Sam's voice flittered through my mind.

"Quil, Bella's gone." He seemed worried but at the same time he was keeping himself calm for me. That did nothing, faster than Embry knew what had happened I was sprinting back to my house, my paws barely touching the earth before stretching out again. Sam's voice continued to claw through my mind.

"We followed a trail here and it led right up to the side of your house through your window. We called for her a couple of times and she didn't answer we ran to her room and her scent was mixed with the leech's. She isn't in the house," I burst through the trees as Sam's last thought was explained. In mid-stride I phased back into my normal form and completely disregarded the fact that I had no clothes on.

I could smell that disgusting scent as I pushed through my front door and bounded up the stairs into her room. Sam and Paul were there talking quickly and lowly. In Sam's hand he held the stem of a flower and three crumpled pieces of paper. Their gazes fixed on my face as I entered the room searching for her.

I knew she wouldn't be here, but with everything I had I wished I would see her sleeping peacefully in her bed. That was not the case. The scent of a bloodsucker clouded the room enough to where I purposefully breathed only out of my mouth.

Sam's hand reached out and handed me the notes. I ran to the side of the bed and set them down picking one up and reading if over swiftly. It was a poem about night and day or something; the only part I cared about was the ending. _I love you, Edward._ I literally gagged reading this but pulled myself together to read the next. This one was one I had read before. It had tape in a few parts where I had shredded it. A slight pain shot through my heart knowing that she had wanted it enough to piece it back together. _What did that mean?_

I don't have enough time to think about that, I told myself opening the last note. Another poem I didn't take care enough to read it I searched the bottom and gagged again as it referred to his love for **MY** Bella. It said that he would be here for her soon.

I growled loudly and felt the need to rip everything in my way to absolute shreds. Sam's voice suddenly broke through my growls. He was yelling.

"Quil! Get yourself together! If he was already here and took her you need to leave as soon as possible to follow." I took a few deep breaths and tried to repress my shaking. I nodded and started towards the door.

Paul's arm shot out in front of me and I grabbed it ready to break it in half for him stopping me. Instead I threw his arm down and started jogging again. "Is she really worth it?!" Paul's voice shot at me from her room.

I growled and didn't answer running out of the front door. _Of course she was worth it!_ Embry only then ran from the forest.

He phased and put his hands on his legs panting heavily. "Damn Quil, you were a mile away before I even realized what was going on." I felt slightly proud at my speed but didn't have the time to think about that. I have to save Bella. "I'm-" breath, "coming-"

breath, "with you." Embry panted. I nodded once and willed myself to change.

Now I have been running for over three days trying to follow _his _scent. At first it was easy, it was strong and mixed with my sweet Bella's. Then it rained. For the first time in my life I cursed the sky for letting the droplets fall, his scent was lost for a while but we soon picked it up again.

It took us another day to realize that the scent we had followed was not, cringe, Edward's. The other bloodsucker that was with him had led us another direction, bringing us to some random town in Maine.

I collapsed onto the ground exhausted and beaten. Without thinking my human form was brought upon me and tears of defeat flowed down my face. I felt Embry's hand lay on my shoulder and I shrugged it off.

A while later a sweatshirt and sweatpants were thrown at me and I put them on thankful for Embry's train of thought.

_I had failed Bella. She was probably locked in a room somewhere with that disgusting leech trying to tell her to love him again. I was her only hope. I was the only one who could save her. And I failed! _I screamed at myself, willing a miracle to happen. To bring my precious Bella back to me.

I could hear Embry somewhere a couple feet away talking on a pay phone. "Yeah, we lost the scent.- Yeah.- I have no idea.- Maine I think?-" I tuned him out not wanting to hear anymore.

Minutes passed and I felt Embry sit next to me. He sighed and I looked up. "Quil." He started and I could see disparity written plainly on his face. "Charlie's dead." I was incredulous. " He found out Bella was gone and he just-" Embry's eyes shot down searching for the right way to tell me. "he just gave out."

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	23. I'm so sorry

**OKEY DOKEY!!!... I don't know if I will be able to update this week or not… family is coming in and it's the 4****th**** meaning every American will be on the roads trying to get the last fireworks or going to the store to buy hotdogs and sodas… Ah the joys of the U.S.A!**

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**Disclaimer- Egrebri Kiiadn Fte Hydenro… ah tear!... **

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**Bella's POV**

The kiss ended softly. I pulled back needing to breath and kept my eyes closed as I tried to bring my pulse back to normal pace. As I drew in shaky breaths I felt Edward's lips kiss my eyelids, my nose, my cheeks, my neck, every surface he could reach, his icy lips brushed over sending ripples of ecstasy through my body.

When I opened my eyes slowly Edward's topaz depths gazed at me, willing every cell in my body to feel the love he had. I stared back ignoring everything around me. We were alone in our own little world. No one was there to shatter it, nothing was there to ruin it.

His protective arms lifted me gently around the waist and set me in his lap cradling me so I could rest my head on his broad chest reveling in the softness of the turtleneck he wore.

"Edward!" A female voice called from down the hallway making both of us jump slightly in surprise. Edward lifted me up with him as he stood and I got a look at possibly the most amazingly beautiful vampire I had ever seen. The beauty that this girl had surpassed Rosalie by a thousand.

Her jet black hair reached about her mid back curling slightly into perfect waves. The coal color of her hair was glossy and contrasted gorgeously with her perfect snow white skin. She wore long pants and a long sleeve green half jacket that stopped at about her curvy waist. A cream turtleneck was layered underneath looking to be of designer origin and probably the best cashmere. She smiled brightly and a slight pang of sadness swept through me as Alice's same cheery smile came to my mind's view.

A light pink brushed across her marble cheeks and a light gold dusted across her eyelids. Deep black and thick eyelashes framed large deep green eyes. _Why were her eyes green? I asked myself, taken aback by the emerald that shown across the room. Was she not a vampire? No she had to be, every other aspect of her showed she was. _

I unconsciously stepped back hitting Edward's chest. He chuckled lowly and wrapped his arm around my waist comfortingly.

"Tianna," He replied back to her. She smiled again and came prancing across the hall towards us.

She stopped about a foot away from me and extended her hand in greeting.

I reached a frail arm out to meet hers and yet another bright smile lit her gorgeous features. "Bella, I presume?" She said more announcing than asking. I nodded my head and forced a light smile. "You're even more beautiful than Edward described you!" She gushed pulling me gently from Edward's arms bringing me into a bone crushing hug.

A blush crept up on my cheeks listening to her tell me that Edward had said something concerning my looks. "Tianna? Tianna! She has to breath let her go!" Edward's voice ordered. I felt strong arms being pried from my back and I stepped back gasping for breath.

Tianna's eyes went wide. "I am so sorry! I forgot you are so delicate and all," She bit her bottom lip making her already full lips look even more pout-like.

"It's okay," I breathed smiling this time without effort. "I'm used to it," I laughed thinking of all the times Emmett had nearly crushed me.

Tianna and I both laughed, it took me a moment to notice Edward wasn't laughing, but merely standing watching us both looking rather uncomfortable.

"Oh, Bella it will be wonderful having you here!" Tianna gushed grabbing my hands in her tiny marble ones and jumping up and down. "My room is right next to yours!" I smiled and jumped a little too. Her overwhelming glee seemed to fill me as well.

"Tianna," Edward asked his voice almost stern. Her cheerful face turned serious at once before she whipped around to face him.

"Sorry," Tianna looked at the ground, almost the picture of a scolded child.

"We will talk in the kitchen. I am sure your hungry?" She nodded and clutched her stomach. More confusion filled my thoughts. _She's hungry? What?_

Tianna started dancing back down the hall towards the staircase happiness again filling the air around her. I watched as she turned the corner and couldn't help but smile. I liked her.

"Bella?" I looked up to see Edward staring at me standing directly in front of me. "I will be back in a minute okay?" I nodded and turned to walk back into my room. As I reached out for the gold knob Edward's hand grasped it instead. He turned me around and pulled me into him for a quick kiss.

Barely had enough time passed to respond before his lips left mine and he murmured a be right back before heading down the hallway.

I went back into my room and sat down on my fluffy bed, lying my head back on the hundreds of pillows.

I shivered involuntarily and turned around to see snow falling gracefully some flitting in to my room through my window. I walked quickly to the window and closed it, goose bumps erupting all over my skin from the chill.

Edward's words ran over and over in my mind sending waves of emotion through every pore of my body. _How could I have run from him? How could I have left him like I did? How could I ever be with someone else?_

I slipped underneath the layers of comforters and curled up hugging the silk sheets to my body. _I loved Edward. The words came so easily, as if I had never second guessed them at all, they were there at the back of my mind every day. But I love Quil. I do. He helped me through so much. I can't leave him like I did Jacob. I can't let it end that way. _

In the middle of my thoughts Edward came through my bedroom door. His eyes were on the floor as he walked towards my bed. When he reached the side of the mattress he turned and sat on the edge.

"Edward?" I asked reaching a hand out and laid it on his back.

He turned to look at me with a solemn expression painted on his face. "What's wrong?"

He lifted the side of the comforters and motioned asking if he could climb in. I smiled and nodded moving over slightly. He slipped under the blankets and I wrapped my arms around him cuddling to his side. "Edward?" I asked again when he didn't wrap his arms around me.

He rolled onto his side so he was facing me. "Bella, something's happened."

Fear shot through me. _Something's happened? What does that mean? _I nodded slightly motioning him to continue.

He took a slow breath and hugged him to me. "Bella, Charlie's dead." I could feel my breath coming in shorter and more ragged breaths. My sight began to blur and I could feel tears running down my cheeks, but I couldn't come to the realization that I was crying, it was just tears, no short breaths or sobbing, just tears.

"Oh Bella, I am so sorry, Quil just couldn't control himself." The sadness in my mind stopped short for a moment.

"Quil?" I asked unbelievingly.

"Yes Bella, when he found out you left he went to see Charlie and he got so mad he changed and attacked him." Now the sobbing started.

"He wouldn't!" I screamed beating against Edward's chest. "He wouldn't do that!" Tears and choked breaths made my words come out shaking.

"I'm sorry Bella," Edward whispered into my ear pulling me into his chest. I curled into a ball next to Edward and trembled through my bawling. _Jacob now Charlie, what am I doing to the people around me? _

After around an hour my tears had run completely dry, the moisture left on my cheeks, Edward kissed away. Tianna had brought in a cup of hot chocolate that was sitting still steaming on the bedside table.

I was exhausted. Every bone in my body ached with loss but I couldn't find the unconsciousness I searched for. Edward's strong body shifted next to me and sat up against the back of the bed pulling me into his lap so I was lying completely on top of him with my head in the crook of his neck.

His enticing smell soothed my body and soon my breathing was steady, although my thoughts were not. Memories of Charlie from my childhood flitted past my closed eyes like a movie. Regrets from past fights resurfaced making the lament I already had that much worse. I was drowning in depression the only thing that was holding my head above water was Edward's presence.

Another hour passed, brought to my attention by the chiming of the clock in the great room. I heard the quiet opening of my door ad soft footsteps across the room.

"How is she?" Tianna's voice rang through the room.

"She's okay, really tired." Edward responded. I felt the need to tell them it was rude to talk about someone like they weren't in the room but couldn't find the energy. So instead I just laid still listening to the bell-like sound of the voices.

Eventually Tianna left the room, leaving Edward and I alone once again. When the door clicked closed Edward's fingers started running through my hair that was surprisingly not tangly. I could hear him take deep breaths that he didn't need, but I knew he was merely inhaling my scent.

"Bella?" his voice made me search for the energy to respond but all I could return with was a muffled,

"Mmhmm?"

"Do you want to sleep?" He had pulled my body sideways so I was now cradled to him like a child. I nodded and reached down to pull the comforter farther up. Edward started moving me so I would lay back on the back but I protested holding tightly onto his shirt and wrapping my legs around his torso.

"You want me to stay?" His voice seemed apprehensive and surprised which I had to quietly laugh at. I nodded again and pulled myself back on top of him nuzzling my head on his chest.

His marble fingers traced random patterns on my back and I fell asleep in a not understandable mix of bliss and misery.

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	24. Said too much

**Hey guys… sorry for the long wait for another chapter… I had SEVERE writers block and didn't want to just throw some random words down… but no fear… the chapter is here! Hehe:P**

**Disclaimer: Eu não possuo qualquer coisa…. Hmmmm portugese… **

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**Edward's POV**

Bella hadn't left her room for days. I was starting to think that maybe telling her that Quil killed Charlie was a bad move. However since I did she seems to love me again. Her lips are softer than I remember and her face was more beautiful than I could ever even imagine. It seems like she never left me for someone else, only that she was away for a little time.

When I kiss her there is always a little flicker of indecision that resides in her eyes for a moment. As though she hasn't completely forgotten about the mutt, like she feels that she's betraying him.

She just needs time, Tianna has told me over and over as I pace in the kitchen in the depth of night aggravated and confused about why she stays locked in her room when she could be with me exploring our new home. Tianna has become like a sister to me, she could never take the place of Alice nor Rosalie but she was like a sibling and I loved her for that.

I sometimes wonder where my old family had moved to after I had told them of my plans. They had all yelled and protested trying to get me to leave my only true love alone to be with another but I didn't give in. The decided to let me do whatever I would like but they wouldn't help me or be around to see it occur. They had all left in the night when I had gone to find Gianna, when I had returned home the house was deserted.

Gianna and I had the house to ourselves for a day before Furro and Tianna showed up. I laughed introducing them, Tianna meet Gianna, Gianna, Tianna. I hadn't even thought about that when I had asked for both of their help. Furro left shortly after to attend to the castle we would all stay in when Bella got settled in.

I am still astonished by Tianna's power; the humanness that radiates off of her makes it hard for me to think of her as a vampire, she didn't have the usual scent or eating habits, things only a powerful vampire possessed. Her shocking green eyes that were drowned in tears when Furro left amazed me. Actual tears flowed down her cheeks as he left. The powers came in handy at La Push which is why I asked for her assistance in exchange for teaching Furro my ways.

She crept up the side of the dog's house and left Bella's notes without leaving a trail of scent. I was able to keep an eye on Bella without being on La Push land, making sure that the mutt didn't do anything to her.

Gianna on the other hand had a seemingly useless power but only assisted me because I had gone to the Volturi found out that she had indeed been changed and she asked to leave with me. She stayed only hours after I left for the airport in Italy, and I met her at the airport in Seattle filling her in on my plan as we ran to Forks.

Tianna's beauty was non-surpassed which is what drew me to her the first time we met when my family and I lived in Maine. She stayed with us for a short while when she was newly changed; Carlisle was astounded by her powers and was dearly upset when Furro had come for her. When he explained that he was the one who changed Tianna when she had cut herself on an open ended pipe right in front of him and had to leave to create a murder scene. When he came back Tianna was gone.

I was glad that Tianna and I had stayed in touch and was thrilled when I received a reply to my letter saying that she would come help me. For she knew the troubles and hardships of love. Furro and Tianna had had a rocky relationship the first few years. Tianna hadn't been able to accept what he did to her and even when Furro insisted she stay put she would run, leaving him to follow after her until one day she admitted that she had fallen in love with her murderer.

The only condition in aiding me was that she wanted me to teach Furro how to feed from animals. That she couldn't stand him feeding off of what she rightfully was. I gleefully accepted the challenge and plan to start teaching as soon as he and Gianna return from their excursion leading the dogs around.

I took a deep breath and ran my fingers threw my hair before opening Bella's door.

There was my angel lying on the couch a burgundy blanket draped over her matching the velvet on the couch. Her eyes were open and staring at something at the other side of the room. She didn't move when I entered and only shifted her eyes to mine when I called her name. She looked so worn, so tired even when she slept more than half the day.

Her eyes showed soft love as she stared at me. But the emotion was coated with her exhaustion and sadness. I walked to the couch and picked her up covering her with the blanket a cradle her to my chest. She felt like a small child in my arms. Her weight to me no more than a two year old.

She let her head rest on my shoulder and I sat back down on the couch. "Bella I love you," I whispered to her. A small smile graced her face and she seemed to try and respond but couldn't. She sighed and nodded sadly.

"Do you love me Bella?" I didn't want to force her to say it but I couldn't stand not being able to remember what it was like to hear those words dance over her lips.

"Yes," she said softly. I wouldn't have caught it without my enhanced hearing. I smiled lightly accepting her response in exchange for silence.

"Do you feel okay today?" I asked shifting her so that she lay stomach down on top of me. Her leg were over mine and I let one of hers slip between them, intertwining ourselves.

I took a deep breath readying herself to talk. "Yeah, I feel okay, just really tired." She smiled slightly again and turned her head into my neck.

"Did you not sleep well last night?" I asked ready to do anything to make her more comfortable.

"I just have nightmares. I wake up a lot." I felt like crying. _Why couldn't things just go back to the way they were before all of this happened? Why couldn't she love me like she used to? Why couldn't we just be together without anything else happening? Oh yeah, because I'm a vampire who's madly in love with a frail human girl that happens to be a danger magnet and might still be in love with my mortal enemy. Wow, life sucks._

**Bella's POV**

"I just have nightmares. I wake up a lot." I admitted. The sentence made the rush of terrifying pictures fly through my mind. I closed my eyes and wished I could just go to sleep without ever dreaming. That I could just sleep and never wake up. _Right, that's death. _I thought to myself as Edward's soothing voice started humming my lullaby into my ear. The notes in the music poured through me. I concentrated only on the sounds as it rocked me to sleep.

Charlie's face flashed into my mind as I was about to fall into a deep sleep. Then Quil's face, the expression that tore through me. His hazel eyes bore into mine from behind my eyelids. Love inhabited every inch of his face. It was the look he gave me when we had sat under the stars eating an amazing meal on the beach. A pain shot through my heart as the scene between Edward and Quil played for me. Only this time it was Quil and Charlie and within the first moments Charlie fell, blood seeping out everywhere until eventually his head lulled over and his kind eyes met mine. "I love you honey," he mouthed right before Quil jumped on his again.

"Bella? Bella! Wake up!" A voice called from far away. I struggled to listen to it as I watched Quil stand in his human form covered in blood.

"Hi Bells," he called. Tears poured from my eyes as I held my hands out in front of me shielding me from the piercing stare he provided.

"No, please!" I screamed as he progressed towards me.

"Bells? I love you!" he cried dropping to his knees. "Don't you love me anymore?!" he screamed. His face looked pained. I nodded through my tears and reached towards him.

The expression that covered his face broke my heart. He looked as if I had completely refused him. Suddenly his eyes grew angry and he stood up walking away,

"I do love you!" I screamed at him. I tried to walk but instead I fell to knees. "Stop!" I yelled hoping that he would come back to me.

"BELLA!" Edward screamed. My eyes shot open and I noticed that he was standing with me in his arms. His face was distressed and he closed his eyes and took a deep breath hugging me to him. "Are you alright?" he asked.

I merely nodded, shaking from the dream that had plagued me every night since I found out that Charlie was gone.

"Oh Bella. You should have told me it was that bad." I didn't respond and rested against his chest still shaking violently. "You kept screaming and crying and you wouldn't wake up!" he rattled on.

I noticed the drying tears on my face and wiped them away. "I'm sorry." I whispered embarrassed that he had to be here for it.

"Don't ever be sorry Bella. I love you. Don't be sorry." He cooed into my hair.

"I love you to," I muttered. A slight pain shot through my heart. Did I love him? Yes I loved him. But I loved Quil to. How could I love both? Edward had killed Jacob but Quil killed Charlie. How am I supposed to deal with it all. Maybe I should just leave. Live alone so I can't hurt anyone ever.

Oh Quil. How could you. Just come get me so I don't have to lie anymore. Tell myself everything will be okay soon. I can't anymore. Come get me so I can say goodbye.

I pushed out of Edward's arms and started walking to the bathroom. "Bella!" Edward gasped. I turned around startled.

"What?" he was at my side instantly lifting my shirt in the back. It had been folded over slightly from his grasp.

"Who did this to you!" He asked urgently. I was confused for a moment but realization hit me as I reached back feeling the raised scar on my back.

"I- I don't know." I admitted. Edward turned me around by my shoulders.

"Did the dog!" He yelled. His voice was enraged. I shook my head vehemently.

"NO!" I spat out disgusted he thought Quil would do that.

"Then who!" he screamed. I took a deep breath and explained what happened from when he left on the beach to when I had woken up and passed out again.

He listened intently. At the end of my story his eyes were wide. "What?" I asked putting my hand on the side of his face.

"Furro," he muttered looking away. Furro? Who is Furro?! "Oh, Tianna." He sighed rubbing his hand over his eyes.

"What are you talking about?!" I asked more confused than ever.

"Furro went to get you. He can sense emotion. Sort of like Jasper but he can't change them." Edward explained. I still didn't understand. "He saw you were in distress and he thought it was from Quil, so he left to go find you." I was trying to understand but I couldn't figure out what it had to do with my scar. "Tianna left. She told me that Furro was wrong that you were worried about Quil not distressed. They said they had a fight that Furro picked you up but Tianna got there and ripped you from his grasp. They said you got a little hurt, but, but this," he ran his finger over the length of my scar. "this is more than I even imagined. I'm sorry Bella!" He pulled me into his chest.

"Why did they take me away from Quil? I fell asleep next to him but when I woke up-" Edward interrupted, his face showed disgust from what I had said.

"Tianna ran with you. She was trying to get you away from Furro. He gets really angry really fast. He was upset that Tianna wouldn't let him take you. She said it wasn't the right time. That you weren't ready. She said that she would know from experience that you weren't ready to love someone again." If he could cry I think tears would have streamed down Edward's face. "I love you so much Bella! You don't understand how hard it was for me to know you were with someone else." My heart broke again.

"Edward, you killed Jacob," I shook my head looking at the ground. Tears welled in my eyes. "You killed my best friend, I can't forget that. I can't forgive that." My eyes stayed on the floor. "It doesn't matter if he tried to kidnap me or whatever you said he did. He was my best friend. I would have come back to you. I would have done anything to come back to you. I loved you." His body stiffened with my last sentence.

"You- you," he cleared his throat a little. "you don't love me now." He stated. It wasn't a question.

"I do love you Edward. But I can't forget what you did." His grip on my waist loosened.

"Bella I'm sorry, I just couldn't stand having Jacob take you. I couldn't take it knowing he could take you." I nodded.

"I know Edward. I just want things to go back." I whispered laying my head against him.

"Bella?" Edward's voice sang sadly.

"Yes?"

"Do you love Quil?" Tears poured down my cheeks again. I nodded a little.

"He helped me, he showed me forgiveness and love when I couldn't even take my mind off of the fact that I had been the cause of Jake's death." I felt Edward holding his breath.

"Okay," he said before releasing me and walking towards my door.

"Edward?" I asked trailing behind him for a couple steps. He didn't answer he merely walked out of the room securing the door behind him. I stood in one place until I heard a little click of the lock.

I ran to the door to find out the handle was locked from the outside. I turned around so my back rested on the door and slid down to the floor. Something told me I had said too much.

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	25. Lies and Tears

**Everyone IMPORTANT!!!:… actually it's really not that important… anyways… I have a picture of the Castle! It is sort of a side view but it's the closest I could get!... it is on my profile if you want to see it!!!... PM me and tell me if you like it!**

**Okay so I am really really sorry that I haven't posted sooner!... I have had major writing block and I don't really know where I am taking the story… **

**I am leaving for 8 days tomorrow… so I can't update again until the 19****th****!... I know I know it sucks… but I am giving you a LONG chapter right now!**

**Disclaimer: Besitzen Sie nichts….. that's German.. I think I have already used that… sorry… but hey guess what I just remembered! I do own Tianna, Furro, and Gianna sorta… no not Gianna… Fleur! I own her!... YAY!**

**Okay R+R!... **

**Here you go!-**

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**Tianna's POV**

Furro's husky voice was soothing me as I laid on the cream bed spread. "I miss you Ti, but I hope to be back soon," he sounded tired and aggravated.

"I miss you to!" I cried back into the phone for the millionth time. "Please! Just come back!" He started talking again but my attention was turned to next door to where Bella and Edward were arguing in very soft tones.

Even with my enhanced sense of hearing I had to tell Furro that I would be right back as I set the phone on the bed and walked out of the room into the hallway where I could hear better.

"Do you love Quil?" Edward asked that. His voice masked anger and sadness, I bet to Bella it sounded just plain and unemotional but I could hear the pain in his words. Quil. Quil? How do I know that name? Oh! That's the wolf boy Bella was living with! She loved him?! No, no, Edward said we had to rescue her from him, that he was keeping her hostage. I had left notes in Bella's room for her to let her know Edward was coming to save her that he loved her, so she wouldn't give up.

I heard a tear drop hit the floor, obviously Bella's, then she spoke. "He helped me, he showed me forgiveness and love when I couldn't even take my mind off of the fact that I had been the cause of Jake's death." Her words confused me. He showed her love? He kidnapped her from Edward! He held her hostage and kept her from her true love! He showed her love?! What! And she was the cause of Jacob Black's death? Edward killed him. He killed him so that he wouldn't be able to take Bella, like Quil had! Did she blame herself for the death of a mutt that was trying to hurt her?!

"Okay." Edward said. He sounded decided about something, I listened to Bella for a moment and could hear the covered sobs coming from her, and if I could hear them I don't know how Edward could stand listening to his love cry like that. But then I heard footsteps, very soft footsteps that only a vampire could make, with grace and perfection. Edward was walking out of the room. After about the third step Bella's louder footsteps trailed after him.

"Edward?" Bella's voice rang from behind the door, she was pleading him for something, maybe not to leave? But she was also asking a question, maybe what are you doing? Or what do you think of what I said? I couldn't tell. But then I heard Edward's hand on the doorknob and I ran down the hallway and started to slowly walk back to my room. As if I hadn't been there at all.

I watched as the vampire that I had spent so much time with when I as first changed. His family taught me that life as a vampire could be more than just darkness. They showed me how to play "baseball" and how to run with my new speed. Carlisle explored my talents and explained why I had green eyes and didn't drink blood. Rosalie was the only one I hadn't gotten along with; she said I was a poor excuse for a vampire and much more that I can't even remember. Emmett and Alice had said it was only because she was jealous of my beauty but I couldn't see how. She was amazingly gorgeous, more so than me; I think she just had a stick up her ass.

I wondered sometimes why Edward had left them, but I didn't ask him about it, grateful that Furro and I could stay with him in this amazing castle and that he would teach my love how to curve his appetite. I don't think I could stand watching another innocent human die on his hands. The blood red of his irises started to become haunting like a reminder of his lost purity.

Edward had said he would start training as soon as Furro got back from Maine or wherever he was.

I watched as I walked down the hallway as Edward's nimble fingers turned the key in the lock of Bella's bedroom. He looked upset that he had to do this but the guilt quickly faded from his face into pure rage.

"Edward. Why are you locking Bella in?" I asked trying to sound cheerful and uninterested.

"I'm not I am keeping others out." He stated not looking at me and started towards the stairs away from me.

"Edward?" I asked, running swiftly to his side where I laid a hand on his arm. He looked at me for a second and the loving expression that resides in his almost caramel eyes when he looks at Bella flickered for a moment then turned back to stone. "What happened?"

He thought for a moment, and looked to me motioning towards the cozy great room. I followed his lead and sat in front of him on the white polar bear skin rug. I crossed my legs and looked up to him from the floor.

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "It's Bella." I wanted to roll my eyes. Duh.

"Okay," I prodded.

"I think she loves Quil. I think I left her there too long. She wants him." Each of his words were picked carefully. I noticed he didn't say she doesn't want me. I thought over his words, none of this made sense why would Bella love Quil after what he did to her? How could she want him? Unless…

"Edward?" I asked he lifted his head and looked into my eyes, sadness and anger now loomed in his eyes, he wasn't masking anything. I took a deep breath and started. "Edward, did Quil really kidnap Bella?"

His sadness seemed to evaporate, anger fired in his eyes. "YES! Of course he did! He took her from me!"

"Then why would she love him?!" I shot back. There was something going on here.

"I- I" he screamed and his voice lowered. "I don't know," his large hands covered his hands. "I just don't know anymore." He sighed and his frame started rocking back and forth.

I sighed. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe she did just fall in love with her kidnapper. That makes the most sense I guess. I mean why would Bella go gallivanting off to stay with a werewolf?

"I'm sorry Edward. I didn't mean to upset you." I said laying a comforting hand on his shoulder before getting off of the floor and walking back to my room. As I walked in I remembered Furro was still on the phone. I ran to it and put it to my ear.

"Honey?!" I yelled into the phone. The mindless beeping came from the other side. He hung up. I sighed and threw it down. Now I have to wait for him to call back. Damn him for not taking Edward's advice and taking a cell phone.

I heard cries from the room next to mine and sat up deciding to go talk to her about things and hopefully straighten this all out. I walked back into the hallway and knocked on her door lightly.

"Go away Edward!" she yelled from the other side of the door.

"No, Bella, it's Tianna." I said comfortingly. I heard her shift from her position in front of the door she sniffled a little and then spoke again.

"I'm locked in," I did roll my eyes this time.

"I've noticed," I said sarcastically.

"Oh, sorry," she mumbled.

"No problem let me find a key." I heard her walk as close to the door as she could and whisper something but I missed it.

I put my ear to the door this time, "Bella say that again."

"Don't let Edward see you." She whispered into the door. I was going to ask why but decided that I would ask when we could talk face to face and not on either side of a door.

I reached onto my tiptoes and brushed over the top of the doorframe for a possible key. None were there. I sighed, of course this is going to be difficult.

I walked around the little hallway for a minute searching under and in the hallway desk drawers, no keys. I sighed again and ran my fingers through my long hair.

I walked aimlessly to the great room and looked around; Ferreth's power would be useful right now I thought to myself, thinking of the vampire man I had met on a trip to visit the Volturi, he could make inanimate objects appear out of thin air. I walked over to the grandfather clock that was in the corner chiming another hour. I looked at myself in the reflection and something shining caught my eye. I searched in the refection and found that something was shimmering on the couch's surface.

I turned and saw the source of the bright light. The chandelier's artificial light had caught the surface of a key. I smiled, it must have fallen out of Edward's pocket. That was easier than I thought.

I went and picked it up suppressing the need to squeal girlishly and half ran half skipped back to Bella's door.

"Bella?" I asked whispering. I heard a shuffle of feet and then her voice,

"Tianna?" she sounded a little scared.

"Yeah it's me, can I come in?"

"Please," she said and I heard her back away from the door.

I slid the key into the lock and it fit perfectly, and easily turned as my fingers twisted it. I heard the small click and opened the bedroom door.

Bella's face was red from crying and she had dark circles underneath her gorgeous brown eyes. With her abnormally pale skin and dark circles she looked more like a vampire than I did sometimes. Her hair was twisted into a messy bun at the nape of her neck and a few pieces fell in front of her face. Exhaustion clouded obviously around her and even her light smile as she walked towards me with her arms open for a hug looked tired. She looked pathetic, compared to how I saw her days ago on the floor in Edward's arms.

I shook my head. What has happened to you? I thought to Bella not wanting to ask it out loud. I pulled her into a hug and picked her up into my arms like a frail child as she collapsed against me.

"Bella? What's wrong?" I asked her sitting down on one of the reading chairs. Her head rested against my shoulder and the rest of her was in a ball leaning on me. I couldn't help but think of her as the little sister I never had, like someone I had to protect, someone I wouldn't let be hurt.

She shook her head as even more tears fell from her eyes. I watched a single glistening tear roll down her face, I disliked crying, only because I could do it and Furro can't. It showed weakness I didn't want, it showed that I was less vampire than some. People tell me it's an extraordinary gift that I have being able to appear human and eat normal food and sleep, but I saw it as a curse, something that put me apart.

Bella cried silently in my lap as I rocked her like you would a small toddler. "Bella please tell me," I pleaded. She looked up at me through her long eyelashes that were held together by tears. She inhaled a shaky breath and nodded sitting up.

I helped her to the couch so she didn't have to sit on my lap. She crumpled into the decorative pillows. A silence covered us for a moment before she began.

"There isn't anything for me to live for anymore. Everything I love and want has either died or is not anywhere close, and it's all my fault," She began to sob again. Her fault? How is anything her fault? I thought to myself shaking my head as I watched her clutch her torso.

"Bella, that's not true. You have Edward and me and so many others." I tried to make her see but what I mentioned made her cry harder.

"No," she choked out. "I don't love Edward like I used to, he took me from Quil and killed Jacob, my best friend, he made me love him again and tried to make me forget about Quil and then locks me in a room in the middle of nowhere and now probably wants to kill something because of what I said!" she wailed. He killed Jacob, I knew that much, but Jacob was her best friend? Took her from Quil? He kidnapped her! Oh my lord I am so confused.

"Bella didn't Quil kidnap you?" I asked trying to make sense of everything.

"No!" she spat disgusted at what I said, "No! I stayed with him after Edward killed Jake! I love him," Fury boiled in me, what the hell did Edward do to this poor girl?!

"Bella, I need you to explain everything to me, okay?" she wiped her eyes and nodded.

I listened intently to her story from the beginning. She said something about a birthdat party and then, Edward had left her broken and empty and Jake basically saved her, he was her best friend, then Alice Cullen showed up took Bella to the Volturi to save Edward, then they came home and Jacob loved her so he tried to get her back and that Edward said Jake had tried to kidnap Bella, so Edward killed him, she ran away and was going to go far away but ended up staying in La Push with Quil, where she fell in love with him, and then Edward came and kidnapped her, and at the end of the story she told me about their conversation they had had earlier but filled in what I had not heard.

When the last word escaped her lips my mouth was hanging open. Edward had lied about almost everything. Bella loved him but she loved this Quil guy to. I was trying to sort through everything I had heard and keep the fury I had for Edward in check as her head shot up and she started again.

"Oh and I forgot! Charlie's dead because Quil found out that I wasn't at home and killed him. Sorry with all of the other depressing things I forget about parts," What! Quil killed Charlie? That's not what Furro told me that he over heard the werewolves talking about. Now I am really confused.

"Bella?" Her head tilted up to look at me. "Quil didn't kill Charlie." I said stating what I knew. I had told Edward after all, and the bastard had lied to Bella. She looked confused but when she opened her mouth to speak she couldn't. "Bella, Charlie died because of a heart attack, when he found out you were gone he just couldn't take it." At first I could see a little relief lift from her shoulders only to be brought back down with much more force.

"Charlie died because of me! He died because I left!" she screamed. I put my hand over her mouth to prevent another scream and listened but when I didn't hear any footsteps I continued.

"Bella, it wasn't because of you, Edward took you, it's his fault." I declared again having to suppress the anger that built in my body. Her eyes widened as she realized what I had said.

"It's all his fault," she whispered looking at her hands, her body was shaking a little with revelation and probably anger. "It's all his fault!" this time she looked up at me, "Tianna, everything is his fault, Jacob, Quil, Charlie, everything!" I nodded inan I told you so sort of way.

She shook her head and stood up. I could see lividness in her eyes. I pulled her back next to me. "Bella, we need to get you out of here. I will help but to do it, you have to pretend like you love Edward, like you have forgotten about Quil, everything." She bit the side of her lip for a second before setting her jaw and nodding.

"Okay," determination now tainted the anger that flashed in her eyes.

"Alright I need to go, but don't worry I'll be back, I promise." She smiled and pulled me into a hug, her arms hugged me as tightly as she could and I hugged her back not as strong so I wouldn't crush her. She was getting out of here.

I smiled at her and squeezed her hand swiftly before leaving the room locking it behind me and running to place the key back where it had been.

Then I ran back to my room and dialed Gianna's number to fill her in on the lies and the new plan, I just hoped she was with Furro.

At vampire speed I explained everything to her the second she said hello. A pause went between us after I finished explaining everything. "uh, okay," she murmured. "I'm in!" she said again this time more determined. I could tell she was trying to sort things out.

"Okay find Furro, then the werewolves and fill them in. Bring everyone up here in two days. Can you do that?" I asked giving orders swiftly.

"Yes, easily," she said. I could tell her and I would get along. "I'll call you soon!" she said into the phone and before I could say goodbye the phone went dead.

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**I told you it was long!... I hope that will sustain you for 8 days!... thanks for reading and REVIEW!**

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	26. Forced smiles

**I AM BACK!!!... I know you missed me!... **

**So sorry to keep you waiting for sooooo long but there isn't really computers in the middle of the desert where I was camping… sorry**

**So… shall we continue the story??... yes I think we shall**

**Oh! You have BellaJacobLove to thank for me writing this chapter… I am so tired and wasn't going to start for another couple days but she convinced me... so yah…**

**Disclaimer: no tengo nada… I am way too lazy to go look for another language**

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**BPOV**

Every moment that passed the plush room I was in became more and more of a prison. The furniture seemed to mock me with its luxury. The blankets that once lay over my bed that were now in a pile on the floor haunted me with the memory of Edward lying next to me as I slept. Edward; his very name stirred more lividness in my body than I thought I could muster from one person.

He had lied to me about Charlie's death, made me angry at Quil. He had lied to Tianna about Quil, telling her that he had kidnapped me. I loved him! He killed my best friend! Even if Jake was trying to, god help me, kidnap me, I would have found a way back, back to Edward. Then he himself kidnaps me and locked me in this god forsaken place then expected me to love him like I used to.

I would get him back for all of this. If it was the single most excruciating process of my life.

My mind drifted away from my anger for awhile resting on Tianna's plan. I had to pretend to love the bastard that did this all to me, to return to the one I loved. I could do that, I hope.

She said she would help me. That she was going to get me out of here. I would never be able to repay her, I wished I had more time to spend with her. That I could become best friends with her like I had Alice.

A pang of sadness shot through my heart. I missed Alice so much, she was like my sister in so many ways. Emmett and Jasper's faces ran through my mind after hers making me think back to stress less days at the large white mansion, watching Emmett play his video games and Jasper fight for the T.V. changer.

Esme's motherly gaze flitted in my mind's eye. I could almost hear her soothing voice telling me everything was going to be alright. Then Carlisle's strong features fixed into a expression of concentration as he stitched up my arms at my birthday party. Even Rosalie's gorgeous face flashed in my mind making my body lurch from the pain.

I missed the Cullen's so much. I just wished I could go back in time back to when everything was perfect and keep it that way.

As memories washed in my mind of days at the Cullens house, and even being dragged shopping, tears rolled down my face quietly. In the middle of remembering the Prom night when Rosalie and Alice poked and prodded me until I looked gorgeous Quil's face appeared behind my tears.

Another pain shot through me this time ripping a hole through my torso. I latched an arm around my waist and doubled over fighting the sobs. I couldn't have both. I couldn't have the Cullens and Quil. The two clashing worlds directed me in two paths once again making me squint my eyes closed and try to ignore the decisions I would have to make.

The Cullens were gone though, I had no idea where they are or if they want me to be part of their lives, Quil was in La Push probably livid with anger thinking I just left him for Edward, I didn't even know if he still wanted me; not even if he even still loved me.

Maybe it was better that after I got out of this castle in the middle of nowhere that I just leave for the Volturi and see if they would kill me or better yet just kill myself. Maybe I could go live in some tiny town in the middle of Tennessee and have 20 cats and change my name. I thought sarcastically to myself.

The tears were drying on my face now, as I heard the lock on my door click. At first I thought it was Tianna but that was changed when a hesitant, "Bella?" sounded from the other side of the door. Edward's voice drifted over the door frame and I pushed my anger down thinking of the plan. Better to start sooner I guess.

I took a deep breath and walked over to the door. "Yeah?" I used my most pathetic and sad sounding voice.

"Are you alright?" he asked sounding genuinely concerned. Well lets see I am locked in a room in the middle of Canada with a masochistic vampire who killed my best friend and now expects me to love him, who I am now going to pretend to love so I can escape, only so I can possibly run to the Volturi to my death, or even end up a depressed old lady with a trillion cats.

"Yeah I am fine." I lied.

"May I come in?" No time is better than the present to start the plan, I thought to myself sarcastically.

"Yes," I replied, turning around and walking over to the single couch in the room pulling the blanket that was draped over the side of the arm around myself.

Edward in all his perfection walked slowly into my room running his hand through his hair. A new royal blue turtleneck hugged his chiseled chest and a pair of faded blue jeans adorned the lower half of his body. As always I as momentarily stunned by his unnatural beauty. But I quickly remembered everything he had done and had to plaster a smile on my face and hoped it didn't look too forced.

His dark golden eyes looked into mine and I made a mental note that he would have to hunt soon. His smile reflected the hesitancy in his voice and he took a few more steps towards me. A very uncomfortable silence filled the room and the space between us until it was almost unbearable. Another stressed second passed and I couldn't stand it.

"Edward, I-" he interrupted me, even though I wasn't sure what I was going to say.

"No, Bella, please don't. I cannot believe I did what I just did to you. I am so sorry. I just got so angry," I was about to say something, tell him not to apologize, when in fact he should be apologizing for A LOT more than he was, but he held up his hand so he could continue. "I locked you in this room like, like," he threw his hands up. "like a criminal or something." I smiled at him in sort of a I forgive you way. Which of course was another lie.

"Oh, Bella. Can you ever forgive me?" he knelt down in front of me, and took my hands in his. For a moment my heart sped like it used to and I got lost in his unworldly eyes, but I was able to regain some sort of bearings and keep myself under control.

I nodded my head gently really wanting to slap the bastard across the face. He got a little closer to me as I responded and smiled warmly up at me. "I love you Isabella Marie Swan." Edward's delicious breath caressed my face as he spoke the words.

"I-I" I couldn't make myself say it without getting sick so instead I smiled and whispered, "Me to," he smiled all the same and hugged me.

"Bell, I was wondering do you want to go in to town for the day? Maybe we could go find a book store, and for you of course get some coffee?" cursedly my stomach filled with butterflies for a moment, it was like he was asking me on a date. I reminded myself I was in the middle of nowhere and remembered I was still basically kidnapped.

I forced a girlish scream that came out sort of sounded excited, sort of. I smiled and nodded vehemently making my head hurt a little from the effort. Edward stood up and pulled me with him crushing me to his chest. I let my smile drop for a second as I wrapped my arms around his waist hugging him back but forced it back when he looked at my face.

"When are we leaving?" I asked, admittedly a little bit excited to be out of the castle.

Edward smiled down at me. "When can you be ready?" I smiled genuinely that was always something I enjoyed about Edward, his willingness to do anything to make me happy.

"Probably thirty minutes?" I said in response. He laughed a little.

"Alright, do want me to have Tianna come in to help?" I nodded and squeezed his hand before walking in to the bathroom to jump in the shower.

The warm water soothed me a little as I let in wash over the surface of my skin. The strawberry scent of my shampoo helped a little more, but eventually I knew I had to get out of the shower.

I stepped out of the steamy room and grabbed the fluffy towel that was hung up on a bar on the wall, all of the towels in the room were monogrammed, reading IMS. It was a sweet thing to do, but now it made me sick as I wrapped the light blue cloth around me.

Just as I finished wrapping it around me, Tianna opened the bathroom door smiling brightly. She looked like an Alaskan model or something, strutting in the newest style of snow wear. "Ready?" she asked a little hint of evil in her eyes.

I nodded and raised an eyebrow in question. "Ready for what exactly?"

She motioned me to follow her and as we walked out of the bathroom she explained. "We are going to make Edward want you, like no other." She laughed lightly after.

"Ummm, alright?" I said unsure as we entered the reading room again. She laughed again and stepped out of the way so I could see an outfit layed out on the reading chair in front of me. "Something, I found in your closet."

A gorgeous thinner cream turtleneck, a cream trench jacket that had soft silky chocolate brown fur trim along the edges and the collar that matched the skinny chocolate brown corduroy pants, cream and brown tie winter boots that would probably come up to right below my knee with the label Ugg, on them, and lastly a pair of cream gloves and a scarf that were crocheted. I ran my fingers over the clothes. They were all probably really expensive.

I turned around and smiled. Tianna was messing with a cord of the blow dryer and when she caught my eye she smiled devilishly. "You are amazing." I said shaking my head slowly. She smiled bigger.

"I know." She ran over to me and hugged me sisterly. "Let's go get you ready."

I followed her back into the bathroom and sat quietly on the stool in front of the mirror for ten minutes as Tianna applied light makeup and blow dried my hair into loose curls.

When we were done although I was only dressed in a towel I looked better than I had for days. The dark circles under my eyes were covered and a healthy looking flush to my cheeks brushed over the apple of my cheeks. My eyelids were dusted with gold and green eye shadow that sparkled and complimented my eyes. My lips were painted dark burgundy that made my cheeks look even more red.

I squealed at my reflection and jumped into Tianna's arms. "I love it!" I was immediately embarrassed because I was only in a towel and it was slipping but she just looked as ecstatic and pleased with my appearance as before.

"Edward will love it to." She said, which made me want to gag. She started leading me out of the bathroom towards the outfit as she went on about how Edward wouldn't be able to resist me, even more sickening as it is. "Do you need help?" she asked holding up the clothes. I shook my head no and smiled at her hugging her again.

I went into the bathroom and had quite the time trying to put on the outfit. I had got the turtle neck and pants on, when Tianna knocked on the door. "Bella? What is taking so long?" I looked at the clock, it had been 2 mintues. I rolled my eyes. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," I said trying to tuck in my shirt. Tianna burst through the door and shook her head. "Gosh, your slow." She said.

I laughed. "Not all of us can be inhumanly fast, okay?" She smiled and came over to me tucking the rest of my shirt in before I had a chance to react.

She picked up the jacket and held it up as I slid my arms in. next she told me to sit on the edge of the huge bathtub and helped me slide my feet into the boots. She laced them both in one quick movement and looked me over before wrapping my neck in the scarf. She tugged and fluffed the scarf around the fur of the coat a little before holding up the gloves so I could put my hands in.

I turned to the mirror when she was satisfied and gasped I looked amazing, more than amazing I looked glamorous and beautiful. I looked flawless.

I spun in the mirror and couldn't believe that my reflection was actually me. "Yes, I do believe, you look irresistible now." Tianna giggled out. "Edward is going to be speechless." I giggled with her for a moment and stood still as she pulled on my shirt. "You sure you can do this Bella?"

At first I didn't understand what she meant but then realized she was talking about the plan to get me out. I nodded slowly. "I think so."

"Alright, if you think something is wrong or you just want to get out, tell Edward you fell sick." I nodded and hugged her again. "Bella?" she asked, I looked up to her beautiful face.

"Hm?" I asked.

"Bella, you do love Quil, right?" she sounded expectant of something. Like she knew my answer before I spoke.

"Yeah, I do." She smiled again and hugged me.

"Then we are going to get you out of here." I took a deep breath and smiled at her in thanks. Right then there was a knock on the door.

"Bella are you ready?" Edward asked through the door.

"Yeah hold on!" I yelled I took another deep breath and Tianna squeezed my hand.

I opened the door and revealed Edward in the same navy blue turtleneck, but now with cacky pants and a scarf on. He gasped audibly when he saw me.

His mouth was open for a moment and he looked dazed. "You look, amazing Bella." He breathed blinking a couple of times. I giggled a little.

"Thanks." I muttered as he grabbed my hand and led me out of the door. He hugged me for a second taking a deep breath no doubt of my scent, and picked me up. "Bye Tianna!" I yelled as Edward started bounding down the hallway.

Faster than comprehendible we were in a garage in front of one of the most amazing cars ever. "Edward, what is this?" I asked touching the frame.

"A Ferrari Enzo." I could hear his pride as he opened the door to help me in. **((I have a pic of the car on my profile!)) **

Edward ran around the car as I buckled my seatbelt and started the low hum of the engine. The smell of new leather hung in the air as we drove out into the snow covered wonderland. The fairytale castle swiftly disappeared behind us, as we drove towards town. Edward's now gloved hand slid into mine and I forced a smile wishing I had Quil's heat to warm me.

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**So very fluffy… and definitely not the best chapter yet… sorry…**

**I am still trying to figure out what I am doing with the story now but I didn't want to keep you all waiting!...**

**REVIEW!...**

**Thanks for reading!**


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